Touch. Can you tolerate it?
I get tense and nervous usually. I don't hate it, emotionally I sometimes want it.
Highly emotional situations that involve hugs scare me rotten. I can not recall the last time I was hugged by a family member. A friends wife has started to do so simply because she thinks I need it, and that kind of emotion makes the hug hard to accept.
However, giving a hug to work colleagues, say after the Christmas party, I find acceptable! ...the stronger the emotional situation that initiates a hug, the harder it is for me to deal with it?
I'm fine with my god child crawling all over me, for a short time at least.
Sudden out of the blue touch, such as slaps on the back, shoulder and arm by colleagues definitely startle me and can make me uneasy. And light touch from people in crowds will eventually stress me out completely (combined with the noise of course).
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Diagnosed with Aspergers
Most of the time I enjoy being hugged tight and and don't mind the light brushes at all. I'm like a cat, I enjoy being patted and hugged by people I trust, and cuddling with hubby. I do not tolerate strangers grabbing me or coming too close. To me, touching and hugging from people I trust is reassurring.
I can't stand when people touch me. NT people always want to shake your hand, hug you, put their hand on your shoulder or around your neck or something. Very very very annoying! I just want to run away when they do that. I have a bubble and I want people to respect it. But NT people like to invade your space. I feel like they would be pissed and hurt if you didn't let them invade your space.
I have realized recently that I'm extremely hyposensitive, so I'm actually the opposite to what the OP is describing.
I crave touch all the time from other people all the time and love hugs and deep pressure. One of my issues in the last few years was the fact that I was hypersexual: and part of this was because I just loved being close to people: and not just in a sexual way. In the past. I have violated other people's boundaries and weirded them out because I was finding excuses to be close to them.
Now that I have a very affectionate boyfriend who loves to snuggle, cuddle and kiss as much as I do, this is no longer an issue.
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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.
My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
hi,
mm sorry if this is "necro-posting" (is that what they call it?)
i just found this website recently and it's kinda amazing that, well, we aren't so alone >o <
for some reason or another, i cannot stand it when people touch me. sometimes i get really upset or agitated but the intensity varies between people.
i tried to rationalise it but it appears to be quite illogical and it does happen even when i like the person.
please could someone tell me abit about this?
thank you!!
ImAnAspie
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Gender: Female
Posts: 7,686
Location: Erra (RA 03 45 12.5 Dec +24 28 02)
I don't get touched much by family. We're not a real touchy feely lot.
BUT
The one thing I do do and have spent a long time trying to combat is - instinctively pulling away from people who try to touch me - like people (work colleges, shop salespeople, strangers etc.) who want to give you a pat on the shoulder or a touch/pat on the arm. I know they mean well by it but I just can't help pulling/moving away. It really draws my attention to the moment and I have to try to consciously prevent myself from moving away because I know it can be viewed as insulting or rude so (if I'm successful at not pulling away) I just suffer it in silence.
On the rare occasion I get trapped in situations where I have to hold hands, my OCD really kicks in and I avoid touching myself/my things until I get a chance to wash my hands/use my antibacterial hand gel.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200
Formally diagnosed in 2007.
Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.
mm sorry if this is "necro-posting" (is that what they call it?)
i just found this website recently and it's kinda amazing that, well, we aren't so alone >o <
for some reason or another, i cannot stand it when people touch me. sometimes i get really upset or agitated but the intensity varies between people.
i tried to rationalise it but it appears to be quite illogical and it does happen even when i like the person.
please could someone tell me abit about this?
thank you!!
I've never heard of necro-posting (death posting).
Anyway, I cannot explain why human touch is bothersome, but I can say I relate to your statement.
It's not an answer, but I always "see" wave functions in other people and myself. I can only successfully touch the other, when the waves are compatible.
But, I can handle non-human touch and may even crave lots of it, particularly deep pressure. I've rarely been bothered by tags or uncomfortable clothing, etc. (I think I am less sensitive than typical to that type of touch). How do you handle non-organic touch?
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So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well
My best guess is that this will not make much sense as it certainly isn't logical, but it is what I am. I seem to be at both ends of the scale at the same time:
I crave touch. I pretty much constantly want to be touched, to be held, stroked, patted and petted. Very very often when I let my imagination wander I find myself thinking about touching various people around me, in both a general way, and also intimately.
This is balanced out by two realities: firstly, I have no really close family, or friends, and I don't do well with relationships, so there isn't really much in the way of available chance for any meaningful touching.
Secondly, and somewhat disturbingly, most times when anybody actually does touch me I recoil, and instinctively try to avoid it. It doesn't hurt or anything like that. It is just some sort of reflex, which I can sort of control when I try with all my resolve, and if I know its coming and I have time to brace myself against it (against the reflex, not the actual touch).
I only like being touched by certain people at certain times. If the circumstances are right, I really enjoy it. Touch is my "love language," so that's how I best like to be shown that someone loves or cares about me. But again, only specified people get to do that (my partner, other people I'm dating, and one specific friend). Those people get to scratch my head or shoulders or something more intimate than just hugging or shoulder pats.
Hugs are generally ok all the time, but only if I initiate the hugs. Basically: Don't touch me unless I touch you first, or if I give the affirmative if you ask (please verbally ask oh god)
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?For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.?
-Neil deGrasse Tyson