Why so much opposition to curing Aspergers?

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I haven't read a lot of the REALLY long posts here (got bored, heheh), but I appreciate others opinions as well (I stop my talking if someone else starts up), and I think what the others are trying to say is that they, and I, appreciate our individuality, and would rather not take the cure and fight for our enhanced individuality. There are others out there who would like to take it, and that's their choice.

Besides, this is a hypothetical situation at this point anyhow. (not in my story though!)

I agee with you, completely. I didn't know I had AS until last year and I'm 42 now. I knew I was different but I didn't know why or what made me that way. There were some things I did that I thought was "normal" when it wasn't.

So here I've lived this long as an Aspie and didn't know it. AS caused a lot of grief and hard ship for me, still does sometimes. I sometimes wish I hadn't have been born with AS but I was and that's how it is and that's me. Like it or not, that's me.

However, if I had been born NT, I wonder what I would have missed out on. Like, that song, I could have missed the pain, but I would have missed the dance.

As for a cure, I guess I see it as conjoined twins who get separated as an adult. It would be like a big part of me is missing. I wonder if part of my personality would be gone. I've lived this long with it, I don't want to start over and re-learn a new way of thinking. I would miss me. I think the option of being cured might be ok, but I think I would have to pass. Actually, I know I would pass.

Man, it would suck to accept the "fix" and come out the same, lol.

But that tolerance and understanding must flow both ways. We must be prepared to understand and accept other people's difficulties as they accept ours. The more bigoted Aspies on this site would do well to remember this.

...and now you've just gone and confused me.

Threads with titles that brandish hatred of NTs or anyone else different from people with Asperger's Syndrome and all the rest certainly does not help our cause. If you want true tolerance and acceptance you must be prepared to give it in return.

At the end of the day it comes down to whether AS is a "disease" / "syndrome", or is it a minority "normal" personality, which has different ways of social interaction.

The way I look at it, it is a personality trait, which is seen as "abnormal", because it tends to be the majority (or NTs) who write the rules. For me, and probably for many others with AS, many of my difficulties in life are caused by trying to fit in with the NT social rules.

We are all programmed from day 1 with what "normal" behaviour is, and that if we don't conform to the rules then we are "abnormal" (sorry, don't really want to use the word, but I am looking at it from the way we can be viewed). I don't know if a world populated by Aspies would be any easier, because I don't have enough experience of being with others with AS. I am guessing that, as the rules would be Aspie Rules, it would be.

I go through phases of wanting a "cure", but even then it would have to come with a lot of conditions. Mostly, I wouldn't want to lose "me" in the process. I really want to be "me" without the social inhibitions, which I feel stop me using my talents to their full potential - that is my biggest source of depression.

Perhaps the "cure" is having a set of social rules that are "written" to accommodate us, as well as the NTs, and for the world to understand that our style of being "non-conformist" isn't such a bad thing.

Ah, now I understand.

YEAH, And Poison(sp?) is the word for FISH in french! So what is your point? BTW Do you eat cats? Gataux in French(cake) sounds like gato in spanish(cat).

Do word play ALL YOU WANT!

Steve

I'm going to ignore all my warning bells that are telling me you don't have AS and just respond. Frankly, if you are a trolling NT asking this question, I would tell you the same thing anyway. There is a huge difference between being wired different and mental disease. I do believe their can be psychological problems as a result of the different wiring, but the two are not synonymous and it irritates me no end that so-called professional Psychiatrists think they are. You are obviously suffering over your difference...that doesn't mean we all are. It also doesn't mean that the ones who are would see it as worth it to be like the NTs, something many Aspies see as dull and intolerable (myself included). I'm just going to be blunt here so you get the picture. If some idiotic professional held me down and "cured" me, I would kill myself. That's not meant to be a grandiose statement, but a statement of fact. Having lived on this side of the fence, if I had to live over there and know what's it is like over here, I would make the choice not to live there even if that meant not living at all. I would find that life completely worthless and intolerable. So, I'm at the other end of the diverse spectrum from you. I actually like the way I am and perceive that they have the problem dealing with someone who is different, not me. (Although I would kill myself if I was like them, I certainly wouldn't run around killing them. I don't have those kind of strong emotions attached to NTs.)


I also think that much of your unhappiness has probably come from trying to mold yourself into an NT instead of exploring who you are. This is a hard area for me because I don't have that drive, but I will try to answer it. My guess is that you are lonely and probably an extroverted Aspie, so you actually want to be around people and get energy from them. (I'm over the top introverted and the smallest interactions often exhaust me. I get no energy from people at all.) If that is the case, I honestly think you would be happier if you would quit trying to hang out with regular NTs. If you really feel you must hang out with NTs, at least pick ones at the higher end of the intelligence scale. I do better with NTs who are professors, researchers, engineers, doctors, veterinarians. I stay away from the rest because there is just too much of a chasm between us. There isn't a hope of common ground so why put either one of us through it? My feeling is that you would up your chances of successful acquaintanceships and friendships if you pick people closer to you in at least one aspect.

And actually, diversity does not always connotate a good thing. I think you're forgetting how "white" settlers treated native people (they annihilated them because they were different). The people brought to this country as slaves are still, today, treated just as badly for being different (and we are just talking the amount of melanin in their skin now and not a neurological difference). While newscasters, teachers and politicians spout off about the benefits of diversity, the truth is, the general population still harbors so much ingrained prejudice that a person does suffer incredibly because of the amount of melanin they were born with. Should they be cured so the rest of the world doesn't discriminate? Should they be cured? After all, they were born this way and it's causing them pain because of the way others treat them. They also for the most part wish they 'belonged.' The same can be said for people with different sexual preferences (and personally, I mean this from a biological or neural difference and not from some 'choice' they make). Should they be cured just to fit in?


It goes back to you are miserable because you want to be them. I don't want to be them. No one foots the bill for that. I take care of myself financially quite well, thank you. I enjoy my life - a great deal in fact. I actually like the fact that my mind is like a movie constantly playing and writing fiction for me is just like turning it on and typing fast enough to get it all down. I like that I can know any type of person or go any place and have just as much of an enjoyable experience (and probably more) as the person who actually went there because I can see it, feel it, taste it, smell it in my own mind. I like the way I see the world on such a different level. I like the way I get interested in a subject and find out all the details before going on to the next. I like the way I remember everything I read as if I'm seeing the book and looking it up. I like the way I see music in my head as if it's being played, even when I haven't actually seen it played. There are thousands of things I like about being me. The thing I like the best though is that instead of people wanting to "cure" me when I was young, they just realized I was different and sent me to the library from the 6th grade on. I had my assignments and my extra projects to do. When I finished, I wrote. They didn't see me as this huge burden, they just saw that I was different. I am so profoundly grateful to all of those teachers who did not try to "cure" me. They made me see it was okay to love who I was and just be that person.


I'm sorry that you feel you need to be cured. I would challenge you to at some point just embrace who you are and explore developing relationships with people who can appreciate that person the way he or she is. Honestly, your unhappiness is stemming from the fact that you are trying to connect with people who don't know what they want anyway. They just act the way they do because they think that is how they are supposed to act. Try the other side. You'll find it's much better.

RIGHT ON! WOW, I never said that before, and now I say it like 30 years late! RIGHT ON was an old statement meaning you are correct, I agree with you, etc....



Tequila is RIGHT! Suppose you were a depressed and dumb NT and NTs were the minority, and everyone else was a smart AS? You would probably be saying you wanted to cure NT!! !! !

AS has only three DEFINITE symptoms, and NONE are inherently bad! The lack of deficiency in non social areas is certanly good. The better vocabulary is certainly good. And the bad social skills? Well YEAH, I kind of miss them, even though I never really did have them.

But HEY, a lot of NTs have bad social skills ALSO!

BTW Most REALLY smart people DO have a deficit somewhere else, and often it IS social. It is a STEREOTYPE! I always thought it was due to lack of exposure, etc... But maybe I always DID put the cart before the horse. 8-(

BTW There is NO cure! They aren't even working on a concept that one day MAY! Reread that last sentence CAREFULLY! They are working on concepts that one day MIGHT cure brain damage, etc.... But they won't cure AS!

BTW You would have to be with me a while, or speak to me about certain things before you could figure I had AS. Even THEN you might not be able to tell. Most of the really BAD stuff I see here is stuff I, and many here, don't have. I am smarter than average. So you have to realize that many here might not know about what you are talking about. Basic AS doesn't have to really be bad, but does have some nasty things that could accompany it. What problems are YOU talking about?

Steve

Actually, Trent, I agree that this guy was coming from depression rather than his AS and that is really why he is so desperate to be cured. That may or may not have come across in my post because honestly, I'm not the most empathetic or emotionally connected person on the face of the earth. I'm not only AS, I'm an INTJ personality type, so I have to really, really work at feeling connections, especially to very emotional things and his post was very emotional. I did my best etg! I don't have your feelings, but I understand that's why you want to be cured. I do hope you will at least consider my suggestion though. It may help.


As to trying this on a regular basis, I'll pass. It's exhausting and I already feel like I need a nap. I won't jump on people though. I'll just pass on the topic when I get like that.





Actually, I grew up in the 1960's, so I wasn't diagnosed when I was bullied and having grown up with five brothers, no one bullied me. My brothers would not have tolerated that and I was well equipped to take care of myself if I was actually physically attacked. If they said something to me (and they had plenty to say), I was too secure and introverted to care and I let them know. People don't bother to bully someone who doesn't care because they don't get the reactions they want. Like I said, I was very fortunate on many, many levels. I think our poster has VERY different needs from those I had and it's safe to say reading the posts that is true of many people with AS. If you are getting your energy from contact with other people, you are seeing AS from a completely different universe than the one I inhabit and my observations are going to be useless to you. I'll do my best to understand what you are going through, but it will be hard because I have never experienced it myself. As to me every feeling I wanted to be like everyone else? No. I wanted everyone else to be like me. I never wanted to be like them. I felt like they were the ones missing out. That was just my experience though, not everyone has had it.






Trent, I understand and appreciate your frustration here, I really do and when I jump in, I do try to be as empathetic as I can muster - which granted is severely lacking. That isn't a stereotype with me, it actually is. I think one of the things we all have to realize is that life as an Aspie differs for people because of other factors at play. If you are extremely or even normally extroverted, you are going to want human interaction and most humans are NTs. If you have those feelings and it causes you pain not to get them fulfilled, you are going to have to adapt in some regard to get it. That can be adapting to NTs in general (especially if you have outward symptoms that are apparent and offensive to them) or it can be finding your own niche of NTs where you basically fit in (like I did). I have been extraordinarily lucky I think. I like to be alone, so not fitting in doesn't bother me. I met someone I fit with (we both have huge issues to the outside NT world, but we fit with each other so we don't care). My family and my teachers accepted me (and this may be due to the fact that I was more the quiet one who just gave away all the answers in class [I also wrote non-stop during class, but I could always keep up]). They just made a slight adjustment for me (sent me to the library to do my school work so everyone else could learn at their own pace) and we were all happy. I found a job where I don't have to talk to people very often at all and I work with techno geeks. They find me strange, but they appreciate what I can do and we find a way to get along peacefully. In the list of problems I could have, mine are small and more than tolerable. So for me, I have no real motivation to go through all of the exhausting discomfort of pretending an empathy that I don't feel. Once in awhile, as in this post, I will try, but for the most part, I walk away. Once in awhile, I do ask why the person bothers just because I really don't understand the need. It isn't meant to be rude or bigoted, it's more like I just don't have the need myself and can't really identify with it unless it's explained to me on an intellectual level (I'm extroverted, therefore I need to get along with the NT world to get my needs fulfilled). You just have to be literal with me.







Trent, I'm laughing here, but not in a bad way. I'm just thinking, Hey Trent, when you create a chip that will give me empathy when it's useful and I can take it out the rest of the time because I would find it horribly distracting, let me know. I'll get one. That would be cool.

I'm depressed because of what AS takes away from me. Yes, I understand that many, if not most with Aspergers don't have the same kinds of feelings I do and many seem downright stoic, but I feel a kind of instinctual pressure to seek friendship, have a family, etc. These are desires that 99% or so of people have and yet I cannot have them fulfilled the way my brother, for example, can.



Yes, but their suffering is due to the intolerance of others, not due to limitations on ability imposed by race. I am not lonely because others know that I have Aspergers and actively discriminate against me. I am lonely because it interferes with social interaction and curing it would go a long way to giving me a better life.



And what valuable role is that? What can people with Aspergers syndrome do that is beyond the capabilities of neurotypicals? I for one find that I can't contribute much of anything to my community because I don't have the necessary social instincts to interact with them effectively. I keep hearing about the advantages of Aspergers but I have yet to actually see what those are and how they outweigh the symptoms.

I don't see how your feelings about wanting to form friendships is abnormal. But It seems like you think a cure would solve all your problems and that you won't be able to have the things you seek unless you get a cure. Well, there is no cure. Wishing to be cured isn't going to help you gain the things you want when a cure doesn't exist at this point in time.

Working on social skills and learning how to interact in mainstream society more easily will help you accomplish your goals. AS doesn't take anything away, it just makes it harder to get certain things. AS doesn't make anything impossible to achieve, it just makes it harder. Some "normal" people also have trouble making friends.

Actually, I said that it would give me the opportunity to solve many of those problems, not that it would get rid of all of them effortlessly. Realistically, though, if I work within the limitations imposed my Aspergers, the outlook is not very bright.



Well, it does take away social instincts. Theoretically, if I had enough time, I could learn to read body language, etc. consciously. In practice, however, that would be prohibitively time consuming (not to mention expensive). Of course, even if it is only an obstacle and not a guaranteed source of failure, I still have yet to see how it is merely a neutral example of diversity and not some kind of defect.

I told you if you want to be cured that is fine. The very fact your still
debating this with others means you accept my postion on this.

I also told you a cure is unlikely.

You said depression is the major issue your having. Get treatment
for depression and then plan your next step. And please do not tell
me you cant/want take meds but at the same time support a cure.

My depression is the result of a lack of a normal life and medication won't fix that in the slightest. All it will do is make me insensitive to that problem, but hardly solve it (and take away my sex drive and thus masturbation, my only pleasure in life).