Is there really a point to life for autistics?
I totally loathe religion but I'll not go any further than that.
Meaning of life? hm. I don't really put much thought into that. I like to keep everything simple. Including my own life. For now, I may not have a job, girlfriend, or lots of friends to socialize with but I'm certainly not a dying person who needs to be saved. I'm a pretty normal guy and I can do most of the things like a normal person could do that's NOT in the social proposition.
Verdandi
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Well, perhaps for you that's satisfactory, but would qawer have started this thread if he were not wondering about finding those very redeeming values for a life with autism in a world that's geared toward (semi-)intense socialization? I can say 'I'm not gonna worry about mingling with other people' because I can camouflage and pretend sufficiently when I'm out in the world. But who says qawer is just as comfortable doing that?
The realisation that there really isn't a point to life that's set in stone, is probably the best thing that can happen to you. Anything goes from there on in.
The problem for me is that qawer makes these threads about autism in general, not about him in specific.
He has also used these explanations to frame things like sensory sensitivity in response to parents who are looking for insight into their autistic children's behaviors, reactions, etc. There's also some popular faux science (like the way he described evolution and Darwinism in another thread) which basically serves to spread misinformation and misunderstandings about evolution.
If he were to limit his elaborations to himself, I wouldn't bother to respond, because there's not really any common ground. But when he's saying it's about autistic people in general, I find it hard not to say something.
I agree about the realization, though. That's a valuable insight.
"Well, I guess I kinda worked it out. If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters... , then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do. Now. Today. I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy, but I never got it."
And:
"All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because, I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there's no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world."
(from Angel)
Everyone has a point of life.
It just happens that most people think their meaning of life is to get married, have kids, a normal career and "settle down"
Personally that sounds like a boring life to me. I don't know why society has been brain washed to all do the same thing.
I feel lots of purposes that I am here for. There is a lot I want to do. Living like everyone else is not one of them.
I notice quite a few posts by multiple people that do this. I always get frustrated by ones that generalise about something like having children and harp on about how autistics can't ever meet someone and have kids. It's not true of everyone. Yes it is hard for us, but it's not impossible. I have a girlfriend and children and apparently my Asperger's is very obvious.
But gripes aside...
The point/meaning of life is not necessarily survival and personal procreation. What are people trying to survive for? What do they want the next generation to value and continue to pass on and build upon?
IMHO... The meaning isn't in merely having offspring it can be in what you value enough to pass on, either to your own children or to others in humanity. It can be in what you contribute to the greater good, the knowledge, the happiness the, questions you answer and the ones you pose and leave for others, in the things you enjoy, the things you struggle with and triumph over and the things that you don't give a second thought to but that might make someone else's day. It can be found in the things you can't, don't or won't do for yourself that someone else is paid to do for you, enabling them to feed their family and do all of the above for themselves. We all have something to give and we all get something out of life, however meager.
It's not about finding what some generic 'one size fit's all' meaning is 'supposed' to be and doing that or being a failure, I think it's more about making what you are and what you want to be into the mark you leave on this world. You can find your meaning, you just have to think about what you have to offer the world.
BirdInFlight
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BirdInFlight
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For any human being, NT or autism spectrum or any other person, life has the meaning you want to give it, even if that means ignoring the usual "Nature's Imperative" regarding coupling-up, reproducing, and the conventional ways of surviving/providing for yourself or a family.
There are lots of people, even NTs, whose goals have little to do with "get a house, get a wife, get kids, hang onto a 9 to 5" etc. Enough people do have those as part of their goals that the planet isn't going to run out of new generations anytime soon, and in the meanwhile lots and lots of people do follow the beat of their own drum, not having a relationship if they don't want one, or finding other things to enjoy about life if they do want one but can't find the right person. Enjoying life via your hobbies, interests, or pursuing an unconventional career -- or even just a job that simply pays the bills so that you can enjoy hobbies.
Bottom line is there is nothing in life you have to do just because most people do them, or mother nature impels most animals, and we are animal life too, to do them. The only thing we all have to do is have some means of support so that we can literally eat and have shelter -- but the way you go about funding survival doesn't has to be the same as everyone else, and the way you go about spending your time or enjoying you life doesn't either. Find meaning in anything you love or enjoy, and try not to dwell on the things you wish you could enjoy but can't get hold of, or of the feeling that you don't contribute to the world in ways in which you think you should, or that you see other people doing. These are things everyone has to figure out in life, not just autistic people.
Also, always value your presence on the planet because you have no way of knowing if someday the fact that you are here helps someone in their own life. You might be the person who saved the life of someone who nearly fell under a bus, and that person goes on to find the cure for cancer. You never know how even when YOU think you don't contribute anything to the world, actually you just might in the form of things that happen where you help more than you know.
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Last edited by BirdInFlight on 06 Oct 2013, 8:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
Indeed. "There is no point to life" is a long slippery slope. I could see it applying to very painful, debilitating conditions which are bound to get worse, but that's a can of worms not to be opened here. Autism does not count as such a condition; we can seek many different kinds of meaning, as already noted in the thread.
I have been there. I got as far as thoughts of suicide, but not a specific plan, let alone an actual attempt. The suicidal thoughts were kind of a wake-up call for me, making me seek help.
Whether this help was actually effective is dubious. Perhaps the regular psychologist appointments for support did something, but antidepressants seemed not to. I fought my way out of it to a level of at least slightly better mental health.
I agree with this. It is good advise.
Many years ago I discovered that I got physically ill whenever I was depressed and so I decided that the only important thing to live for was to be happy. As long as I stayed happy I stayed well.
Life is an accident and is driven by a blind purpose to sustain itself, but we do not have an individual purpose. In the end all we have is our memories and it is better if those memories are happy memories.
Socializing does not make me happy. Helping my family, birds singing in the morning, a cat climbing in my window at night to keep me company, those things make me happy and they are the things I live for.
I have had bad things happen to me and I have been homeless, but through it all I have found things that make me happy and I think anyone can do that.
If you're an intelligent type of Autistic, or one with self-confidence, or rich, then you're very worthy.
If you're someone like me, not very intelligent, very shy, wanting to mix and be social but finding it hard to at the same time, having too many overwhelming emotions that affect my behaviour, living in fear of my own social issues, and being prone to anxiety and depression but at the same time being unfixable. Life's especially not worth living when you're worried about being intolerant to meds, or worse, all meds you try don't work. Then what do you do?
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LOL..it's only when you are 15 that you 'give it to the age of 30'....
However, the early years can be the toughest - and it's not to belittle the pain of these issues. They are real, and indeed 'meaningful' in and of themselves. Those who never entertain these questions miss out out, because the searching and consideration itself can become a source of great satisfaction. As someone in this thread mentioned, existensial crises are uniquely human, and have little to do with being autistic or NT... Then again, the answers we find may have a lot to do with the given conditions of personality and temperment...
And BTW...coming online and asking these questions is also a valid form of socializing!
It depends on how you are politically viewed. I'm not ''disabled'' enough to be put on disability benefits or get extra support from these adult disability support services. So I have to survive like the average person. Yes, I can work and I do have a job, but if I lose my job, I'll have to go back on unemployment benefit.
David Cameron runs my country don't forget, and he believes that everybody must be super rich, and that everyone on unemployment benefits are useless slobs. Yes, some people are, but most aren't. Some people are made redundant by cutbacks and so have no choice but to go on unemployment benefits - and then they are immediately looked upon as a slob by the government. The government seem to think that you should be on unemployment benefits for no more than 6 months, and then be able to find a job if you look hard enough. That's all very well, but people like me who lack certain social skills and finds that most jobs involve essential people skills, will struggle more than the average person, and finding suitable work is a struggle for the average person as it is. It causes major stress and anxiety, and life is too short to be edgy and anxious.
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If you're someone like me, not very intelligent, very shy, wanting to mix and be social but finding it hard to at the same time, having too many overwhelming emotions that affect my behaviour, living in fear of my own social issues, and being prone to anxiety and depression but at the same time being unfixable. Life's especially not worth living when you're worried about being intolerant to meds, or worse, all meds you try don't work. Then what do you do?
It is autism that is unfixable, not social anxiety. Many autistic people are not socially anxious and many have overcome it. It is ok to be shy, I don't know why people see that as a weakness. Shy people can be very likeable. You are intelligent and you don't have to be crippled by social anxiety. believing that is so can be self fulfilling and cause you more anxiety.
Not sure what to make of this. Seems a little disrespectful...
To elaborate, I've seen Aspies in their 50s who have JUST found someone who loves them, or even worse - have JUST acquired the social skills to have any kind of meaningful relationships at all. Some of these people have spent over half of their lives in unemployment and in awful living conditions.
If my life, by the age of thirty, is anything like the lives of certain older Aspies I've spoken to, then I'll be prepared to pick a bridge.
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