Melantha wrote:
The best and most accurate definition of love I have ever read is:
"Love is that condition in which another's happiness and wellbeing is necessary for your own."
I think that's a little narrow. The problem is that love, being a term for a feeling, is inherently always going to be kind of nebulous. You can reach for a description which sort of comes close, but you'll always fall a little short. And worse than that, because our feelings are to a degree unique to each individual, just because
you experience love in a certain way, doesn't mean it's true for another. I'd agree that your definition is good for *most* occurrances of love, but probably not all.
Anyway, to answer the original question, yes, I've experienced love. I'm married - I wouldn't have married her if I didn't love her. And I've loved other people, and creatures, and those experiences cover a fair breadth of feeling. I'd say I love my dog (sometimes, when she's not trying to pull me into oncoming traffic or the nearest pitbull - and, in case my wife is reading this, that's an attempt at dramatic overemphasis), and I care for her wellbeing deeply, but at the same time, she's just a dog, and in the end expendible if there's no other option. I'd hate for there to be no other option, I'd be a little upset, but still. That probably rules it out of the above definition, but I'd still call it love.
My first girlfriend, I had a very physical relationship with. I'd say I loved her. I was enormously upset when she broke up with me, distraught, and unable to get over it for over a year, and I spiralled into depression after she broke up with me. And there, the relationship was based on little more than our physical lust for each other, but still it was all consuming. In the end, I'd probably also say it was pretty destructive. It was definitely love, but it's very,
very different to the love which I have with my wife, which is more to do with our intellectual and philosophical compatibility (although obviously there's still physical attraction there). They're all pretty different, love's hard to put into a box (that's the problem with noncorporeal ideas - you try to pick them up, they slip through your hands, and then they're all over the floor. I'd suggest a mop, but even that doesn't work well).
Just because your feelings changed into hatred doesn't mean it's not love. Love's usually pretty intense, if for some reason the feeling is frustrated, it can warp into something equally intense on the other end of the spectrum, that's just the nature of the beast.
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"You're never more alone than when you're alone in a crowd"
-Captain Sheridan, Babylon 5
Music of the Moment: Radiohead - In Rainbows