Has anyone with AS mastered the art of lying?
I myself did master the art of lying in this area for the very same reason you stated above. To avoid getting into trouble. I had to be good at this because I was always getting into trouble. As far as lying for other reasons like fibbing a story a.k.a stretching the truth or so-called "white lies". I am not at all good at this and to be frank with you. I don't like to lie at all. There just is no harmony in it and it feels dirty.
That's why I think kids should be told not to do things so they know, not get in trouble for it without waring but then again if I didn't get in trouble, I wouldn't have learned anything so my parents couldn't win. It was either not punish me so I won't lie to avoid trouble and have me grow up to be a delinquent or do punish me and have me lie to avoid trouble and grow up to be a good person.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
They'd probably still call you a liar. My guess is that you're sending some kind of signal that says "dishonesty" to many NTs, maybe not making eye contact?
But the eye contact is kind of a myth anyway. Averting one's eyes isn't really a sign of dishonesty, but a sign of discomfort. A good liar can look you in the eyes and lie quite comfortably.
Actually, now I remember the last time I had to lie... I was a teenager, living with an abusive stepfather. I used to sneak around, collecting evidence of his cheating my family. (He did--he took our savings and gambled them away, pretended to be going to college and wasn't; said he was working and wasn't. Etc.) So back then, I really had to lie to protect myself. That's when I learned that I could lie by pretending the lie was true, by creating a whole alternate reality in my head and temporarily living in it.
I can't really lie conventionally. Holding the truth and the lie in my head at the same time is just too confusing. However, if I have to lie, I can--if I also temporarily deceive myself.
It's no wonder I don't like lying. Every time I lie to someone else, if I want to have a chance of them believing me, I have to lie to myself, too.
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OliveOilMom
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I can lie like a politician campaigning for office. I had to be taught how to thought. There are some specific rules and also do's and don'ts that I had to learn. My friend schooled me in it back in high school. I've since pretty much perfected the art.
And no, lying doesn't always hurt people. Some lies have no consequences and other lies are for someone else's own good. Then again, some lies are meant to keep me out of trouble and damn the torpedoes. It just depends on the situation.
Lying is like anything else, it's just a skill that you either choose to learn or don't choose to learn. And no, I don't feel guilty about it because I don't normally tell the kind of lies that are meant to hurt someone else.