help with my daughter!?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't understand how you could think she is normal after you have listed traits of it.

I have always wonder what causes that. There are time in the winter that will happen to me as well. about 2 month ago. I woke you at 5an and I was burnning hot and so I got into my shorts and t-shirt and went outside in -5'f temperature and was doing work outside for almost 4 hours before I started to get cold and had to come inside. OASN: Back in my teenage years. I use to go polar bear swimming in the frozen lake up in Idaho and could stay in the water for almost 2 minutes.

Me neither. And I think that autism has been a bit overdiagnosed lately.

I may be cynical, but is the op just trolling?

"why do I disagree with her"
- because, I personally believe that all (or almost all) of her behaviors fit under her diagnoses that she already has.

AND, I work with children, and children with disabilities and on the spectrum. And I personally just don't see that in my daughter..

Somebody posted that their mom was in denial for a long period of time; I don't believe I am, but I suppose maybe I just don't want to see it and refuse to see any sign, but I truly just DON'T see it in her.

Sorry. I know that was a bit harsh of me, but I really did/do believe he is being disingenuous.

I understand you don't see it in your daughter, but even though you believe you are right, don't you think it's a mistake to get in a power struggle with an upset teen? I agree with the other posters who are suggesting you take her concerns seriously. You can even tell her you disagree if you want, but ask her too how she feels and why and talk with her about what might help, rather than staying stuck, both of you, on what diagnosis fits best. You shouldn't necessarily feel pressured to DO anything, as she is an adult. It just doesn't seem likely that arguing about this will to get either of you anywhere good.

That occurred to me too haha, seems a bit suspicious.

I also had this thought.

Please give the OP the benefit of the doubt before making accusations, Ok?
The moderation team is aware of this thread.

I would not let food touch either, and would refuse to eat it if I did, later changing to throwing away the parts that touched I'm still kinda squirmy about it, but since I've matured it's gotten better and because I hate wasting food, I'll force myself to eat it. Of course the solution is not to let your food touch.

Ja. I've always eaten one thing at a time, finishing one thing before moving to the next. In fact, I just recently watched a video (in Japanese) of a woman who grew up with both ADHD and Asperger syndrome, and her parents ragged on her for eating only one thing at a time, having to finish one thing before moving to the next. My parents never got on me for it, though, and I didn't even think there was anything wrong with it, but if it is unusual and fits with the general pattern of autistic symptoms then I guess it goes with the territory.

I would eat things in a specific order, but I'm not sure if I ever had to eat one thing last. Different strokes for different folks, though, which is as true in autism as in anything else.

The rest of this thread seems to negate this statement. What I read is "let it be anything but autism! )". A diagnosis is just shorthand for traits/issues that exist with or without outside confirmation. She's still your daughter, autistic or not and whether you deign her autistic or not. I didn't catch your daughter's age, but she'd get more benefit here.

It sucks, though, that because in many states insurance plans still exclude autism services, you cannot afford to get assessed. America is a really effed-up country in that regard.

You're right, I didn't take note of the gender, sorry Octopus!

Octopus, please listen to your child. And if there is any way possible get her diagnosed now. If one receives a diagnosis after 18 or 23 in some areas in this country they are screwed. If before 18, they have a chance to get help and resources.

My parents never believed me. I always seemed too normal too and they just thought I was a hypochondriac imagining things. Do whatever it takes to find out for sure. Don't let her have to live any longer like some of us had to. It took me over four decades to be found out as an Aspie and I paid a very dear and high price for having to live that way unknowing and I know that a lot of people here will say the same thing. It is very expensive but this is your child. Please look into diagnosing her. Sacrifice other things if you have to. It's not fair to her if you don't. Like everyone else has mentioned, every single thing you have said about her shows signs of being on the Spectrum. This is not a game. She is really suffering and you need to support her. At least give her a chance to find out. If it turns out to be something else than so be it but if she is Aspie she deserves to know.

My life would have been so much better if my parents had been able to listen to me. I can't tell you how often I had thought of taking my own life ever since I was a little kid because it can be such a struggle especially if you don't know that you are on the Spectrum and don't understand why you feel the way you feel. Don't let your daughter have to go through that. And there is nothing more painful than a parent who refuses to listen. Even now at my age my parents are still in denial in many ways about my issues, I just found out two years ago that I am Aspie and even now that I am mostly independent of them the pain of their not being able to hear me about this is astronomical. I know you love your daughter or you would not be here. Please listen to her.

And you said you work with kids on the Spectrum. I think that it is very difficult for most parents to see things in their own children even if they see it clearly in others. Some parents do not want an Autistic child and will fight it tooth and nail even if it is blatantly obvious. It is very painful to them to think of having a child with this. But the one who is really getting hurt by this is your child. And you may be comparing her with the kids you work with. This is not good either. This can really hurt her. So please, please get her diagnosed.

And if by chance you are trolling, please stop. I don't want to believe that you are but others have like this in the past and it really hurts us when people do that. It is really not fair to us. But I want to believe that you love your daughter and that all of this is true. So again, please listen to her and take her very very seriously.

Thank you to all who have posted/replied.

This is a word by word argument that my mother has yelled at me, has talked over with someone close enough for me to hear, or once when she actually did listen to me all the way through, but then once I was done she told me her answers. (in that same annoying list format.)

I NEEDED to post this.
I NEED her to see this and read all the replies. (that are replies I would have said when we argue or talk about it, but I get too mad or anxious, or hopeless and beaten down to remember..)
Yes, I have tried a written approach to her, but because *I* was the one who wrote it, it was worthless and made up.

I even had teachers, the school counselor, all the office people, and the principal concerned/thought something was up.. well, I am fairly sure all of them were, I know that the counselor and 1-2 of my teachers were concerned... (one teacher seemed in a lot of distress when he found out I wasn't on an IEP, and only a 504... But I am too scared to ask what he thought/thinks I have..? *afraid because of social anxiety, not fear of the answer.)

Anyhow, I am getting off track.
I apologize if this kind of post is against the rules, I just really need my mom to see the replies (from OTHER people than myself) to show thoughts on her words.
I feel terrible for found such a deceitful thing, but the answers I think will really open her eyes a little.

Also, somebody asked about weird behaviors or stimming:
- apparently swings and trampolines were considered stunning because of the amount of time I would do it for...?
-I twist my fingers a lot.. (is that possibly one?)
-apparently I chew gun way too much, I don't believe that that is a stim, but I do it so much the dentist thinks I heavily grind my teeth..?
-I bounce my leg while sitting, but I think that is a ADD thing, my dads ENTIRE side of the family does that.
-somebody told me I scrunch up my face randomly like I just are something sour, I didn't know I did that..