Before Asperger's

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A social worker told me that would have been burnt at the stake if I was in the old days.

I didn't understand what she meant.

I wished they had left me alone. People are always trying to change me.

Thought of others since I last posted..

"Head case", "There is a screw loose", "He was born with a few pieces missing" "you're so intense, mellow out man", "You're impossible, I don't know what to do with you", "fa***t" (Anti homosexual slur in USA)

There are somethings that do not change
"It's a stage, you 'll grow out of it"

I agree it was to shame people. It was the "tough love" philosophy, people did it because they believed it worked, others used that as an excuse to bully.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 27 Jan 2014, 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

My parents would call the dog to punish it for something. When the dog no longer came when it was called, they thought they got stuck with a dumb dog.

My husband's mom told him that all the time. She wondered why God was punishing her with such unhappy, selfish, self centered brat..where everything in the universe had to align perfectly for him to be SLIGHTLY happy.

Irony, is she is on the spectrum too! Lol.....and selfish, self centered brat works for her also. (How people not knowing her myriad of issues view her.)

I think my parents projected themselves onto those around them. I thought my mother was pretty selfish. My father once accused me of being happy a family member died because we inherited some $. He was the one who would benfit from that. He was punishing me because he felt guilty that he was happy someone we never met died.

I thought I was a psychopath because I felt nothing for anyone or anything.

I was a horrible person, I would hurt people and not care. I never considered that people had feelings.

What made you change? How old were you when you moved away from that?

It's a very long story, but I was a child for a long time, I didn't develop into an adult like everyone else. I found myself very alone, in a freezing cold flat, I was very hungry with no money and no one to turn to. I felt like an animal (not human) a predator. I felt murderous and suicidal. I was in my early 20's.

For a long time up until that point I hadn't been treated like I was human, I was numb and I treated everyone like I felt they treated me. I would fight, damage property, steel from people, I was truly horrible.

I think my diagnosis helped me sort my head out. But aside from that I woke up one day and everything just made me cry. I had never cried before, I felt as though I could see how people felt, I understood things in a different way. It was the best day of my life, I felt in touch with something that I had before been lacking.

I'm still not fully up to scratch and I will always struggle emotionally, I try though now and that is the main thing. I see people as being fragile now whereas before I really didn't care about anyone.

I know I lack something and I do still feel less than an adequate human being, but at least I am aware of it now. And I no longer feel murderous.

It is remarkable you turned that around. I think it is so important to see people (and, to me, animals) as fragile.

I was considered "abnormal." I had bad posture, and got a lot of "Stand UP STRAIGHT!" commands. And, "Look at me when I talk to you." Later it turned out that I read years ahead of my peers... they used to test you to what grade level you were reading... and that got my a great deal of attention back in the late '40's and early '50s.

Unfortunately even today the general population of most countries developed and undeveloped are totally ignorant to what Aspergers is, it really pees me off when people treat me like I know nothing just because thats what they instantly think it is once they hear ' Autism spectrum '

If only more knowledge of it was made available in School >:(

I am glad you are turning it around.

Thanks. I was very hurt and damaged, but I am ok now. I feel a lot better.

I think it was more because I had no trust in anyone whatsoever and it was just built up hurt and anger really.

I was technically diagnosed at a young age but the diagnosis was tossed out by my parents. They continually pushed me to try harder. I mean, it wasn't as bad as that sounds. It's just that they would get really frustrated because I didn't understand what I was doing wrong or how to fix it, and I would just keep doing the stupid things over and over again. I was frustrated with the fact, and on top of the fact that people acted like something was fishy I got tested and came back positive. I felt terrible about it but now I'm pretty chill.

aw yiss

I am 31. Aspergers wasn't a diagnosis at the time my parents sought a diagnosis. For whatever reason, autism was never considered. The prevailing thoughts (both psychiatric and not) were:

Before age 4:
Some type of unknown hearing issue

Age 4:
Severe ADHD
Motor planning difficulties
"Space Cadet"
"Smart Ass"
IQ = 60

Age 5:
Put in cardboard box for the school year to decrease extra stimuli (while this solution was traumatic, I applaud this teacher's notice that overstimulation was a primary problem)

Age 7:
Gifted
IQ = 130
Not interested in peers

Age 9:
Any teacher's least favorite kid

Age 11:
"Blonde" (dumb)

Age 17:
Bipolar
OCD
Completely incapable of independent living, but doing it anyway
IQ = 160

Age 29:
Doc who gave me stimulants for add so I could be a better parent continually thought I was an awful parent. Eventually, I spit out that I know how to handle misbehavior, it's noticing it quickly and making swift decisions about it that is difficult (as well as not having a solid ground for what is and is not acceptable).

He decided I might not be ADD after all. He diagnosed me with aphasia and sent me to get re-evaluated to distinguish between OCD and ASD or something else.

Age 30:
Aspergers
IQ = 140

(I also distrust IQ tests if they can vary this widely)