Got scolded by my doctor today, I feel humiliated :(

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Yes self motivation is the best thing.

As regards this thread I will have agree to disagree with some.
Given people a bit of a push is not being mean in my books.

I was convinced I would never hold a job down if people had of being nice to me and agreed with me and reinforced this idea in my head I would be in a bad state today.

I did not know I had ASD I thought I was just crazy and I had just keep trying after six years of failed employment attempts.

In my eggsperience, other people giving me a push has been good for me.

I have a lot of self-motivation, but I can still trick myself into thinking a certain way that other people can pull me out of by giving me a push.

For one thing, keep in mind that what you have is not your fault and there is no reason why your doctor should've scolded you because of something you were born with and that the doctor should know better since they are suppose to help people not put them down. Evidently, the doctor has no appreciation of neurodiversity whatsoever and at worst her scolding of you reflects only her intolerance for us aspies and I wouldn't blame you for hating people because of that one particular experience.

This doctor was way out of line for the WAY she gave her advice/help. That doesn't mean what she was trying to do was wrong. However, she should not be allowed to "give advice" in this way. First and foremost, she's not a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist, so she should not be dabbling in those fields. When's the last time a therapist told you how to treat your sprained ankle? She is not qualified to express those opinions in her role as a professional (physician). That is abuse of power (medical interpreters are trained to recognize and react to that, as a matter of fact.)

A previous poster says that with age comes wisdom. Well, at 50, I can tell you, if no one ever says anything about this doctor, she will never change. Just because the OP has work to do on his life (don't we all?) doesn't mean he shouldn't do what he can to improve that situation (the doctor). What if a more fragile and vulnerable person comes in tomorrow, and goes out and commits suicide or something because of the way this doctor treats patients?

I had an experience like that once. They kept insisting that I needed to be working or in school. They asked me how I got there and when I told them I took a cab they said that I "should have walked because I have nothing better to do". They also asked me if I had a mental illness and said it in a mean tone.

I went twice and never went back. I was going because my neck was bothering me but the first time I went they didn't touch or even look at my neck. The second time they touched it a little. No tests were ever done. I just gave up and put up with my neck bothering me until it went away.

If a doctor ever treats me like that again, especially if it's my first time seeing them like with that one I'm just leaving and telling them I won't tolerate such treatment. In recent years the doctors I've been to have been pretty nice.

That doesn't work on me at all. It just makes me feel bullied and mistreated and judged and makes me want to do whatever I can to avoid that person.

Especially certain psychiatrists have treated me in a very mean way too.
My psychiatrist I have now is nice, but if I count how many psychiatrists have treated me mean and how many nice it's pretty much equal. I guess it's because of the autism, they just can't understand it and very often don't even recognize it correctly. Many pschiatrists missinterpreted me over and over again, even if they knew me for months in some cases.
I don't think that my psychiatrist I've right now totally understands me, but he developed kind of a feeling for me and is very very patient with me.

Also many psychiatrists can't addmit when they've been wrong. Onw psychiatrist once miss-dx me and when I got a second opinion (this was necessery and she knew it back than and also agreed with it, because I had my officiall name change because of being Transgender) and she found out that she was wrong and I was right she took it very personally and even threw me out.
Also one psychiatrist once even didn't believe me my symptoms.

Less than half of all psychiatrists can really deal with autistic ppl and my experience is (and also that of a psychiatrist with Asperger's I know) that psychiatrists either understand autistic ppl or they don't, but it's not really something you can learn.

The best way is to find physisians and psychiatrists you come along with very well and who understand you and stay there as long as possible. It's hard enought to find them anyway.

One time my mother went to the emergency room for back pain and the doctor was telling her that she is too skinny and that she is getting too old for her job.

She is naturally skinny.

She doesn't really have a choice about working her job if we want to keep doing things like living indoors and eating.

That was several years ago when it happened and she still has at least a few years to go before she can retire.

Here is an opposite nice story.
In 2012 I went to a hospital so someone there could help me apply for Medicaid. When they found out I walked all the way there they actually sent me home in a cab paid for by their office. That was very nice of them.

That was the same method my elementary school teachers used to "motivate" me.
It did me no good. The only thing they achieved with that s***ty method was making me develop ODD and making me even less motivated.
When people treat me like that I don't want to prove them I can "make it". The only thing I want to prove them is that I don't give a f*** about what they tell me to do and that I'm not going to do what they want. Never. Because that's what they deserve.
I don't need to be pushed because being pushed just makes my situation worse (it makes me more anxious, angry, defiant, oppositional, disruptive) and if anything, I am going to push them. In a pit full of poisonous snakes
Really, being pushed makes me feel like a 5-year-old and I am f***ing almost 17. I'm a little too big for that. People should just f*** off before I snap at them because I don't need to be pushed.

Being nice to you and agreeing with you are not, in this situation, the same thing.

I'm all for helping people find their way in life. I wish someone had done it for me. My point is, you don't have to be unkind to them to do so. You can say "Get a bloody job, you lazy arse", or you can say, "Why is it you're having trouble with finding and keeping jobs? How can I help you with that, what sort of support would you need?", and then listen and offer that sort of help (or encourage them to seek it from a professional). Ideally, this will lead to them learning both the skills and the confidence they need to be able to handle things on their own in the future.



Exactly. If someone does this to me, I will just avoid them. Also, it will make me feel worse about myself and thus even less capable of succeeding at whatever it is. So they won't have helped me at all, quite the contrary.