Sometimes I wish I was more stereotypically "aspie"

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08 Mar 2014, 12:46 am

There's a downside to being a more stereotypical aspie. People pick up on your differences more and pick on you or exclude you more. They will still expect you to act like them and understand everything they say, unless they underestimate you and treat you like a special needs child.

You will never win my friend. I've had milder symptoms before I regressed into this more moderate form. Both times I had people putting pressure on me to be just like them and some even denied I could have AS.

But I still have my clouds and tops of city buildings to stare at and objects to line up, and that's a great way to ignore those people.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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08 Mar 2014, 2:13 am

LifUlfur wrote:
And this is what I was saying.
This is because earlier you said something along the lines of "I wish people would say, hey that guy has aspergers, let's not bother him".
But this would happen on a larger scale and people might not want to interact with you at all.
This happens with me a lot.
And this links back to the grass is greener on the other side.


Most people aren't worth my time, in my opinion. I know it sounds really stuck up and such, but if I were more of a stereotypical aspie, then I probably wouldn't have to deal with as much riffraff as I do now, as more of them would just disregard me off the bat.



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08 Mar 2014, 3:49 am

I'm confused.
When you said you wished you were more like a stereotypical aspie, does that mean that'd you like to start your life over as one or become one now?
Because if its either of those, the same thing happens, people who you may want to interact with start avoiding you because you are different and can't pick up or process everything as fast as the super people can.
*Thinks*
Nope, can't think of anything else to include.


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08 Mar 2014, 5:45 am

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
The way I look, and the way I act, I can "blend in" to NT society fairly well. The thing is, socially and mentally, I feel like I'm worlds apart from most NT individuals, and when I try explaining to a lot of them that I'm not NT, or that I'm different from them in certain ways, they don't "get" it. For this reason, sometimes I wish I stood out more and looked and acted more like a stereotypical "aspie". If it weren't for the fact that I was heavily conditioned in my younger years to "appear" NT, and if it weren't for the fact that I spent a lot of time trying to "adapt" to NT society, I probably would.

If I looked and acted more like a "stereotypical" aspie, and had my reputation cemented as such, people wouldn't expect so much from me, and I would have more freedom to be a quirky, unique, noncomformist individual. The problem is, my reputation suggests that I can in fact blend into NT society, and as such people expect me to, which is quite draining on me. As well, to try and go out of my way to act more "aspie", would suppress some of the more "NT" traits I have developed and gotten used to over the years.

I just want to be "me", and I don't want to be pressured to look or act any particular way.


I praise your honesty and , despite the fact I can't know how you have been feeling, I realize it hurts you; my suggestion is to keep on telling people about your way of being ( a NT- acting Aspie): you will meet some people who do really care , and you will realize it when they ask to help them to deal with you the way you feel comfortable with .



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08 Mar 2014, 2:19 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
Most people aren't worth my time, in my opinion. I know it sounds really stuck up and such


It doesn't sound stuck up to me.



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08 Mar 2014, 2:29 pm

Agreed
it would only sound stuck up if you gave a reason
and a specific group of people or a generalization
i.e all people are bad because one bit me
though that is an exaggeration.


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08 Mar 2014, 3:46 pm

LifUlfur wrote:
I'm confused.
When you said you wished you were more like a stereotypical aspie, does that mean that'd you like to start your life over as one or become one now?
Because if its either of those, the same thing happens, people who you may want to interact with start avoiding you because you are different and can't pick up or process everything as fast as the super people can.
*Thinks*
Nope, can't think of anything else to include.


Neither; I wish I was more of a stereotypical aspie in the first place, and I wish I had never tried to become so "NT". I can't change it now.



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08 Mar 2014, 5:14 pm

Yes you can. I'm not sure how, but I think it may be possible.



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08 Mar 2014, 5:25 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
LifUlfur wrote:
I'm confused.
When you said you wished you were more like a stereotypical aspie, does that mean that'd you like to start your life over as one or become one now?
Because if its either of those, the same thing happens, people who you may want to interact with start avoiding you because you are different and can't pick up or process everything as fast as the super people can.
*Thinks*
Nope, can't think of anything else to include.


Neither; I wish I was more of a stereotypical aspie in the first place, and I wish I had never tried to become so "NT". I can't change it now.


So it was the first one combined with a new one?
Said that you wish you'd like to start your life over as one and then you responded with the bit in bold
are these not the same?


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08 Mar 2014, 7:17 pm

LifUlfur wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
LifUlfur wrote:
I'm confused.
When you said you wished you were more like a stereotypical aspie, does that mean that'd you like to start your life over as one or become one now?
Because if its either of those, the same thing happens, people who you may want to interact with start avoiding you because you are different and can't pick up or process everything as fast as the super people can.
*Thinks*
Nope, can't think of anything else to include.


Neither; I wish I was more of a stereotypical aspie in the first place, and I wish I had never tried to become so "NT". I can't change it now.


So it was the first one combined with a new one?
Said that you wish you'd like to start your life over as one and then you responded with the bit in bold
are these not the same?


Never mind. What I really want is for people to respect the fact that I'm an aspie, and not brush it off as a "lame excuse" for not acting NT.



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08 Mar 2014, 8:30 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
Yes you can. I'm not sure how, but I think it may be possible.

Just stop masking symptoms or like me suffer a number of seizures that leads to your regression.
Even being under severe emotional distress will do it. I've noticed I'm interpreting things in a very literal way again. That's a red flag for regression.

The former is probably the better way. I's an awkward thing to reveal to people but overtime they will get used to it.


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08 Mar 2014, 8:58 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:

Never mind. What I really want is for people to respect the fact that I'm an aspie, and not brush it off as a "lame excuse" for not acting NT.


The problem is that most people don't understand it. I know that in my case I'm hard pressed to explain it. The best advice I've learned is that you can't control the reactions of others, so focus on your own reaction instead.



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09 Mar 2014, 2:00 am

I have it like you in many ways. When we are at the "high end" of the aspie d., life is difficult beacuse we often don`t get much understandings, even from our close ones. I have been thinking a lot on this subjec,t, and maybe it is not only because I don`t look or act steriotypical, but also because I don`t share much of my thoughs and feelings.
But mostely I blame the film industry. It all started with Rainman and so far up to "The Bridge"..... But on the other hand, I am close to be 40, and I remember all to well my childhood days when beeing "a special kid", as they called it then, was very much worse than to not be understod or seriously taken to be an aspie.
No it is not easy, but I think the best things is to do is not getting frustrated and just take a big sip of air. For what more can we do?



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09 Mar 2014, 4:03 pm

Yeah, I think this is the thing about allistic people that pisses me off the most.

"You're not autitistic, you seem too normal."
-No, I've just learned to act in a 'normal' manner in many circumstances.
I spent years learning to act that way so I can get along with people like you, and then you folks repay that by calling me a liar.
WTF!?

"You're using your autism as an excuse."
-No, I'm explaining to you why I'm having particular difficulties/behaving in certain ways.
You asked for a reason, I'm giving you one.
I don't really care whether or not you think that reason excuses my difficulties/behavior.

It's like, congratulations, you've mastered the art of not acting like a complete weirdo around other people most of the time!
Now, prepare to suffer from all the expectations allistic people will have of you because they think you're one of them!

Damned if we do, damned if we don't. :roll: :? :alien:



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09 Mar 2014, 11:33 pm

Bodyles wrote:
Y
Damned if we do, damned if we don't. :roll: :? :alien:


People don't like how "ass burgers" sounds so the DSM 5.1 shound change the name to "dammed if we do, dammed if we don't syndrome" :lol:


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10 Mar 2014, 2:06 am

Bodyles wrote:
Yeah, I think this is the thing about allistic people that pisses me off the most.

"You're not autitistic, you seem too normal."
-No, I've just learned to act in a 'normal' manner in many circumstances.
I spent years learning to act that way so I can get along with people like you, and then you folks repay that by calling me a liar.
WTF!?

"You're using your autism as an excuse."
-No, I'm explaining to you why I'm having particular difficulties/behaving in certain ways.
You asked for a reason, I'm giving you one.
I don't really care whether or not you think that reason excuses my difficulties/behavior.

It's like, congratulations, you've mastered the art of not acting like a complete weirdo around other people most of the time!
Now, prepare to suffer from all the expectations allistic people will have of you because they think you're one of them!

Damned if we do, damned if we don't. :roll: :? :alien:


Damned if we do, damned if we don't indeed. This is the reason why I wish the neurodiversity movement were a bigger thing than it is now. Waves were made in 20th-century America when people fought for racial equality, and waves are being made now on the gay rights front. Why can't waves be made on the neurodiversity front?