I want to be "cured"

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Oooh! Neutron star, complete with accretion disk and gas jets! *hugs avvy*

Oooh! A neutron star complete with accretion disk and gas jets!! *hugs avvy*

I used to want to be cured.
Now I just accept myself for me.
Besides their is no cure and it may even be impossible.
I wouldn't take it I think AS has made me stronger in some ways.

God, Zanne, wow, I never heard it described that way before, but it makes so much sense. You are blowing my mind. Where did you learn to look at it that way? I have to go away and compute for awhile. By the way, thanks so much.

thanks for the advice!

Just today I was talking with a friend about this person, let's name her "Chayito". Ok, so Chayito is my teacher, and acts in a very "strange" way to me, and I didn't fully understand her, or her motives.

But a few hours ago I started to realize that Chayito, my teacher, wants to look like she is superior to me, but in a mean kind of way, and at the same time seems to be joking or trying to get along with us, and it causes a shock not only in me, but everyone in the classroom!

So next time I see her, I'll try to look cool, and calmed, that's where I have been failing, and she takes advantage of that. I'm normally calmed, but to be honest [/b]I don't know how to react when I'm in front of her [b]

I'm a good student, very good at what I'm doing, and have a half-time job, and that's why some days I arrive late at her class, and she knows that. I never had problems with teachers, in fact I'm one of the best students in my generation, but man, she gets on my nerves and I'm starting to see problems...

And I don't know why she tries to look superior, maybe because she isn't a good teacher. She seems to be new at teaching, she doesn't have the slightest idea of what to do, sometimes she doesn't come, or we do nothing... and if I arrive late she starts to ask me what's wrong with me, argh, I don't know if I explained myself.

anyway, thanks for the advice Zanne

My aspieness is my greatest card in the Texas Hold'em game of life. It gives me the ability to write creatively, understand a song at the drop of a hat, a long term memory with epic recall powers, but best of all it gives me some peace. I can go about not caring who thinks what about me and being my over-the-top mouthy self.

AS is a gift in a box made from confusion and desperation, with ribbon of pariahism.

I have no idea. I always pictured it that way. When I was very young and people picked on my brother, I always thought, they are acting just like a pack of dogs would. That was the visual I got when I saw that. It immediately lost power. Later, in drama class we were taught to look at the audience like rocks. That partially reinfoced it for me. Then, in management classes they finally came right out and taught us about that behavior. That did it. I knew I had been right with what I had seen as a child. They were acting just like a pack of dogs. In the corporate world, you see this all the time. It's called corporate politics. They just carried it over from the playground and NT people deal with this all the time at work. They are always making sure they are posturing so they don't lose their place.

I love your quote at the bottom. "None of us fit in with the group." It made me laugh out loud. I probably just woke up my husband (he likes to talk in the morning GRRR). Anyway, back to us!


Your teacher. Here's the translation of your teacher. Take out teacher and insert dog. You with me? If a dog did that to you, I would say, you just witnessed fight or flight. Dogs will not attack unprovoked. The problem is, I don't speak dog and neither do you, so the dog might thinks it provoked and attack. So, we (from the outside) think it was unprovoked.


You do not speak teacher. You gave it away when you said she is a new teacher and you don't know why sometimes she acts mean. She's attacking in an unprovoked manner, right? So, let's pick it apart like a Science experiment and see what's probably happening there. Here's what we know. She's a new teacher. You are usually liked by teachers. You are one of the best students. You also work half time. Now, I'm going to take that criteria, good job by the way, and tell you what's happening.


This is passive aggressive. Go back to the dog. The dog looks friendly but kind of scared. It's wagging its tail, but sitting and almost on it's back at that, head down, whites of the eyes showing. You think, wow, that dog feels like me. I'll go comfort it. You feel confident because dogs always like you. Dogs like you more than any of the other students. You were really good with dogs in the past. You reach out your open hand to pet the dog and the dog bites you. You have no idea why this happened and go to the clinic to get your stitches. After that, you are afraid of the dog.


Now, back to teacher. She's new. You are the favorite student of all teachers. You are a good student. You can work and go to school. You are the one in power in this situation but you don't see it. She knows you feel comfortable here. She can see that. She likes you because you are a good student and you hold down a job. But, here's the other side of the picture for her. If she allows the other students to see she likes you and prefers you, she will lose control of them. They will resent it and act out. They will cry unfair about grades. They will get jealous and she knows this. Then, there's coming in late occasionally. She does understand why you do that and probably admires the fact that you can and you can keep up, but - if she shows that in any way, the other students will pick up on it and resent her. They will start crying favoritism and she could even end up losing her job over it. All you know is that you get along with your teachers and do good work. So, you reach out and ouch! She bites you. She is afraid that if she acts friendly to you, it could have disastrous results. So, she bites you verbally. In the dog world, they call that fear biting.

So, just see that as what it is. Your teacher has to establish her credibility in the classroom and she isn't very smooth about it yet. She doesn't have the confidence. Some have it and some are afraid. She is afraid, but I'm sure she likes you and appreciates you. She just has to stay on her guard because she feels she can't show it.

Does that make sense?

I think there are positives in Asperger's (the excellent memory, High intelligence, Strong level of knowledge in particular areas and Able to offer others a new perspective etc). However AS can be very lonely, isolating and frustrating. As I dont know any different I cannot say if I would want to be cured I think on balance probably as it would make life easier.

well, first of all, i never EVER thought i was the strange one. i have gone through my whole life just not understanding people. i work in IT. i am a poet and a musician.
and i have always been who i am, because i don't know how to be any other way.
i never knew about aspergers until 3 years ago, so i never tried to "fit in" with NT people. i never understood that there were real concrete differences. i just thought i was ostracized for no reason at all.
i am completely on my own with my kids since my divorce 7 years ago, and i don't have people to protect me, if that is what you mean. i didn't even know i needed protecting.
i have only ever socialized with people who are into my obsessions.

So are there guys also into those obsessions who are potentials or who could introduce you to potentials?


I never think I need protecting but somehow they think I do. That or stalking. Behavior I just don't get.

Look people who are whinning about all the negative affects of AS. I'm content. I've suffered through depression even near killing my self. That's one of the down falls but I have lived my live mostly as a loner. Friends offline how do I keep them? What are friends outside of internet. I've got family the distance between us has been lessening. All in all living my life for Christ Jesus son of God. Has helped a lot without being a Christian I'll probably be dead by now. Long ago I would have died.

I like the pack of dogs concept. I'll use that....thank you. I just saw it at work today; and it was terrible. People do want to have a pecking order.

Also, I'll testify to the fact that the Good Lord is constantly helping me. I thank Him everyday, I ask Him to forgive those things I've done and left undone.

If I hadn't found him and my church; I would be really lonely right now. People that are true believers have more patience, I think maybe it's becuse they don't have to "see" something to believe.

Also, the Bible is full of stories of people with AS;-)))

It is sick! I would LOVE to have been where some of you guys are! I had to practically beg/borrow/steal to get things to study. YOU have the internet. With ME, everything was manual. With YOU you have computers! I thought I was alone, and NO goals outside of my interests or "peers". I was looking at the wrong people as my peers. YOU can be more realistic. ALSO, I have been told ALL MY LIFE I could do things I couldn't, and that I couldn't do things I could. YOU know BETTER!

HECK, I didn't even understand people, and tried to err on caution. If I knew what I know, I would have taken more chances earlier.

So WHY did I use johnny five as an avatar? He was expected to speak in monotone, but didn't! He was expected to have no emotion, but DID! He was thought to be far dumber than he was. He was judged based on other robots. He STRUGGLED to get stuff to study. He learned fast and well. He was underestimated! He was CHEATED and abused! He ended up getting hurt, and had to take care of himself. In short, he was a lot like I am, etc....

Steve

Pecking order is terrible. The pack of dogs is not for you to see all NTs as dogs (LOL), just that particular behavior. It just reduces it down to something you can deal with. Unfortunately for all of us, that primitive behavior is in the subconcious and we do it and aren't even aware of it. They may get caught up in that and we may get caught up in obsessing over things they do as if it only happens to AS people. So, we both have our struggles. But, if we can start to see those for what they are, we can begin to take away their power over us and start to change things.


As to Christians, I was raised strict Baptist and we had to go through the bible over and over. It is full of stories of Jesus defending the downtrodden and persecuted. I used to work with a woman who used to say (when people would say something mean or catty), "Shame on you! What would Jesus say if he were here right now?" She always shut that behavior right down. No one else could get away with that, but she did. I thought that was pretty good. Because the truth is, many times he would have something to say...to all of us.

Yes! That must be it, being new and all that, in a need to establish her credibility, and yes, she isn't doing it in a very smooth way.

sorry to have woken up your husband, I also when I first read the quote laughed a lot


SteveK, I have in my quotes "we are the robots", to remind me that, like Johny five, we might look like a robot, monotone voice and all that, but we are more than that