Insight needed from autistic adults

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I didn't talk until I was 4, and had other problems that in retrospect screamed AUTISM! but this was the 1970s, so none of the docs figured it out. My mom was trying all sorts of stuff to reach me, and one day she learned I could read. I was about 2 1/2. So she bought a magnetic board with letters and I immediately started spelling words like the names of cartoon characters and the names of stores my parents always frequented. She was amazed. Eventually I started "babbling", and when my mom noticed that it sounded like words, she took me to speech therapy. You need to "speak his language" and engage him via his special interests. He likes music. Does he like music with lyrics? Do you think you could teach him to sing along? Don't listen to the pencil-necks telling you it's "echolalia". There's an article somebody posted on WP somewhere about parents who used their son's fascination with Disney cartoon movies to reach him.

That's patronising and very unhelpful. How is that going to make the OP feel?

Hismum: Does he receive speech therapy?

I inexplicably was reading at the same time I started talking (around 3). From the way my mom tells it, when I started talking I also started reading aloud, so I guess maybe the reading came first, and this was in the days before the DVDs that say they can teach your baby to read. I probably learned the alphabet from Sesame Street and ran with it. So, you never know what kids are absorbing.

I agree with what someone else said about trying a quiet dim room with no constrictive clothing. Like a vacation for his senses.

Wow, a lot of AMAZING insights and feedback ! Thanks, everyone. I dressed him in NOTHING but his underwear today and he seemed the usual. Lots of visual stimming and signing for music, as he always does. But hopefully tomorrow will start bringing changes

He has had speech therapy since he was 2 but it didnt help. The last two years were at a university clinic with student clinicians and they kicked him off after 4 semesters. I am now looking for a new SLP.

My son has no interest in using words. He has a lot of vocal stims - specifically, he puts his left hand over his left ear and babbles. I did the same thing to figure out why he was doing this and realized that he was getting excited and giggly by feeling the vibrations of his babbling and hearing the sound of his own voice reveberate inside his skull ! I think it probably started after he "imitated" one of us talking on the phone, liked what he heard and has stimmed so ever since. The sounds vary (he can make a few consonants and the occasional vowel) and the stim always ends with him giggling uncontrollably ! Makes me want to grab him and hug him because it is heart warming to see him so happy but I always remind myself it is a stim ! !!

If he loves the sound of his own voice so much, why can't he just talk ?? Of course, since he started showing that he was capable of problem solving, my hope that he is alright, and my belief that the school doesn't know their ass from a hot seat, has intensified. I still am cautious, but this is huge, as he has never shown any sort of awareness or problem solving skills before.

I also agree strongly with Alienor and TheSperg.

Have you ever tried taking him camping? Or a short hike? Might be my interests talking, but nature is awesome. Evening in the sand dunes in the Oregon coast helped me a lot when I was a kid. Sites that were either away from other people or hidden were best. I found time away from cities, road noise, and electricity really peaceful. Also the light in nature is nice and looking at the textures in trees and cliffs is still almost a transcendent experience for me (and lots of people). I like desert and lightly forested places without many mosquitos the best. Just a chance to have fun in a simpler environment where things smell like they should and are governed by the logical laws of nature rather than the mostly silly ones of man.

If you do try camping, pay attention to the sleeping bag liner. Can be a major pitfall. Even as an adult mummy bag materials kind of mess with my senses. Cloth flannel lining or even bringing cotton bedding and a cotton futon mattress you can trash work best for me. But you'll want to bring whatever sleeping stuff he likes. Also canvas tents like springbar are better for the same reason, but that's not nearly as important.

Does he know about echoes yet? If he likes sound reverberating in his skull he might like a canyon with an echo... Or even a city place with an echo. Could be a way to encourage sound.

Don't be sad that it's a stim. Stimming feels really good to me and to most of us. Sometimes stimming is involuntary but often times it's not. It sounds like your son's stimming is voluntary. That, to me, is a good sign. It means that he is expressing himself in a different way that is not purely visual. And he is enjoying it which is great. Maybe like AlienorAspie said, you can use that as a springboard to expand his expression and experience a bit.

I am sure he is really appreciating not having to wear clothes. Hopefully you will notice a response even if it is really subtle at first.

I love the idea of taking him out in nature too. I would do that progressively though so that it does not disrupt his routine too much. I LOVE camping and being out in nature. If I don't get out there I get really ansy and out of sorts. And getting to be connected to the earth is so healthy anyway. But it really calms me down and helps me settle. It is very grounding.

Hi HisMom. First, let me say that you sound like a great mom! You're working hard to reach your son and thinking outside of the box. Your son is very lucky to have a mom like you!

Second, I am on a similar path as you. I have two autistic 2.5 year olds. One used to stim a lot. What brought him out of his own world was to stim with him. Maybe for an hour a day, you can leave the clothes off, go to a quiet place, and play his stimming game. You said he likes to put his hand over his hear and babble? Do the same thing and giggle (mimic the same response that he has). Then try putting your hand over his ear and see if he babble and giggles. Gradually move toward putting his hand over your ear and babbling and giggling. Make a game out of it, and by that you may start to demonstrate that other people can be fun and interesting. You also start to teach reciprocity.

My spinner is still non-verbal, but once I started taking an interest in his interest lets, he began to slowly take an interest in the world around him. I still spin a bit with him every day, and his social skills have improved dramatically. His need to spin has come way down, too. My belief is that a relationship between mother and a baby is typically built on laughter and fun. And kids on the spectrum often miss out on this because we don't understand what's fun for them. Maybe once you demonstrate that you do and build that trust, he'll feel less intimidated by the outside world.

I hope this helps and that it works! Good luck, and please keep us posted.

All my best!

If he likes music, have you bought him a toy piano or a radio, something like that? Maybe you could get a little keyboard (piano, not computer) that can record things and assign them to different keys. You could put your voice saying "Hi" on one, and "Mom" on one. Maybe he could use that instead of his own voice. Put other things on other keys, like the name of his favorite toys. Show him how it works and maybe this time when you hide things, he'll use the keyboard to ask for them instead of hunting. Or, you could teach him to play simple songs on the keyboard.

By the way, he is extremely lucky to have such a wonderful, concerned, loving mom as you!

I was also thinking that if he is starting to sign and ask for things signing, developing sign language might be a great option too. Would you be okay with it if he only learned to sign? I have a strong feeling that one day he will be verbal but some people are not so sign language could work for him.

I just saw the Carly Fleishmann video on youtube again and I was encouraged by her story as I always am. Are you familiar with her story? If you don't know her I will post the link for you. It will encourage you very much I think.

By the way. you have not mentioned your son's dad, or perhaps I missed it if you did. Are you married to him and is he a part of your son's life. Do you have other kids? Sometimes the different ways of bonding with the other parent and siblings can help as well.