I've never been able to complete anything. What is this?

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Jensen
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18 Apr 2014, 2:17 pm

Same here.


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jayjayuk
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18 Apr 2014, 2:42 pm

It's a little comforting to know I'm not alone. Read through the new relies on my phone. Refreshing to know others have to deal with this.

But , what's the solution :( if there is a solution. I feel like the autistic adult who always fails and who now has a label to explain his failure.

I don't want to be a failure!



kraftiekortie
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18 Apr 2014, 2:47 pm

The solution, really, is to persevere. Asperger's does not mean failure.



Jensen
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18 Apr 2014, 2:55 pm

Yup! Being challenged does not mean being doomed!


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Rocket123
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18 Apr 2014, 2:55 pm

jayjayuk wrote:
It's a little comforting to know I'm not alone. Read through the new relies on my phone. Refreshing to know others have to deal with this.

But , what's the solution :( if there is a solution. I feel like the autistic adult who always fails and who now has a label to explain his failure.

I don't want to be a failure!


jayjayuk - Before I was diagnosed, I tried to live a neurotypical lifestyle with neurotypical aspirations. I had many issues understanding why I couldn’t be more “normal” (like my siblings, peers and other role models). This led to a variety of problems (dysphoria, anxiety, etc.).

The psychologist who diagnosed me (in April 2013) recommended that I focus on “What does Aspergers mean to me and how do I move forward in the world”. To me, this included redefining what success/failure is (not on other's terms, but on your own).



kraftiekortie
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18 Apr 2014, 2:57 pm

If you have to take a long bath before you start your project, so be it :wink: If you have to stand on your head before you start your project, so be it :wink:



Arcnarenth
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18 Apr 2014, 3:52 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you have to take a long bath before you start your project, so be it :wink: If you have to stand on your head before you start your project, so be it :wink:


I wouldn't recommend bathing AND standing on your head before starting a project though. Risk of drowning and all. :lol:

Seriously though, this is a huge problem for me too, both personally and especially professionally/academically. I don't know how many times I can begin a hobby or field of study, work tirelessly in its pursuit, and then end up leaving it aside only partially finished never to be returned to again. 'Never' is hyperbole, but more often true than not.

Another issue for me, and something I was about to post about, is all the talk of potential I get. "You have so much potential!" "If you put your mind to it, you can do anything!" "You're so smart, this should be easy for you!" I appreciate their sentiments but there's this HUGE disconnect between having the ability and being able to physically follow through. It gets so frustrating at times that I'd almost rather NOT have the potential. Having a high intellegence brings with it so many expectations. Add in a societal structure that values the ability to produce over the pursuit of knowledge and things are that much worse.



psilence
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18 Apr 2014, 4:10 pm

some suggestions ; set small goals or steps
accept the risk of failure at least you progress and failure is more of a fear
I only know what works for me but Identifying the roadblocks can help even if you fail you learn to finish
If I work on my weaknesses I can enjoy my strengths



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18 Apr 2014, 4:32 pm

I seem to be very similar to most of you. I have a very hard time finishing things, especially large projects. When I was younger I was very good at playing guitar, but I just had such a hard time finishing any songs. I'm a programmer now and have the same problem. I'll start a project but have a hard time completing it. The larger the project, the more likely I won't finish it. I like to figure out how the program will work, but when it comes time to actually doing the work I just lose interest.

Not being able to finish tasks is also a common feature of ADHD. I was prescribed Adderall by my psychiatrist which does help some, but I still struggle very much with this.



Noetic
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18 Apr 2014, 4:36 pm

It's taken me a long time to be able to stop myself from committing to things I won't be able to finish. But yes I know the feeling too well, my obsessions cycle or used to, they have stabilised a bit over the last decade. But as a kid my parents used to call some of my smaller, shorter lived obsessions "farts" because they'd evaporate as quickly as they started.