What do people really think about us?
yournamehere
Veteran
Joined: 22 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,673
Location: Roaming 150 square miles somewhere in north america
Reading people is easy. They think I'm weird. I am weird. There are other things too, but that one is the icing on the cake. You cannot please everyone, or be everyones friend. In fact you should already know, that some should not be pleased.
If you have qualitive issues, use them wisely. It is what you do that defines you. There will always be crackpots out there that will have something to say. Take it as a suggestion, nothing more. If you change too much in order to fit in, you will find a path that is not your own. You will loose youself. Perhaps be a mimicking robot, or worse.
The answer to this question seems to be very context dependent for each person, as I've noticed that different people with ASD have difficulty (through an NT point of view) with different aspects of social interaction. How one person sees one person with ASD is not going to be the same is how they see another one, as behaviors related to ASD, (which includes behaviors that can cause you to be rejected by someone) are very different for each person that has it.
Therefore, you would have to know more specifically what behavior patterns you personally tend to have in order to anticipate explaining them to others in the future like the way you described above. Answering your question in a general way may not lead you to the answers you're looking for because some people with ASD may have tendencies that you don't have, and you may have tendencies that others do not have. Advocacy is (and should be) a very individualized pursuit.
If you are looking for more feedback, maybe you could list some situations where NTs have not accepted you and then maybe I could figure out what the issue was. I don't know why, but I really enjoy decoding social situations for people with ASD, especially if I'm helping them understand themselves in the process of doing so. I have a general sense of your patterns already but am always willing to give more feedback if you feel it is needed.
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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.
My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
Some of you have suggested that there is something different about us, and implied it's visible to everyone. I think we recognize our own kind, but it's not clear to me that the NT population recognizes us for what we are (a defined group) even if they think some of us as individuals are "different" in some ill-defined way
Most of the people I know have no idea what Autism or Asperger's is. I'm pretty sure my life would be a lot easier if people understood it was just a brain based difference, not an undefined weirdness. I think they think weird is unpredictable. If they knew what Autism was, it would be more predictable for them.
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,024
Location: Long Island, New York
I have not had an overtly negative reaction in years. Most ignore me when but when they like me they really like me and have said so. I believe those who know me awhile and have gone out of the way verbally praise me probably really do like me. Everybody else I don't have clue what they feel.
How do they feel about autistics in general? Never or rarely crossed their mind, ret*d,. Social ret*d, Socially awkward savant, don't exist, excuse makers, really cool savant are the most common things I read.
If you have met one neurotypical you have met one neurotypical.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
I'm not really aware enough of what people think of me personally to have any idea. Unless they tell me. And I'm almost always surprised by what I find out, whether it's more favorable than I expected, or more negative than I expected. Usually it's favorable, not anything bad, but it's just surprising. Anyway people have had widely varying opinions of me. The only consensus seems to be that I'm quiet.
As for what they think of autistic people, when I have told people (other than family) that I think I might be autistic they started treating me different. These were just people I knew online not people I had ever met in person so I felt like it was more about their concept of "autistic" than of me as a person. Some were nicer to me, but in kind of a condescending or phony way. This one girl in particular ended up picking a fight with me, a day or so after the Sandy Hook thing, and told me she had always thought I was unstable. I quit mentioning it to people after that.
Its all over the map for me. Some people treat me with a lot less respect (talk to me as if I'm a little kid), some think I'm awkward (this is often people who I don't know very well, but in hindsight I have said things around them that would make them think that) and some think I'm a saint (all the super-loyal, super honest traits typical of aspies I have in spades). Like they do with everyone, people assume I'm a genius, while others assume I'm a moron, but I'm placed at both extremes more often than most people. Same with people who think I'm shy or really annoying (again, two extremes). A lot of people though, I have no idea what they think, which is probably bad for someone with my insecurity issues.
Well, NT usually sees me as weird, eccentric, strange, enigma and a freak
That's what they usually say about me (they say it to my face as well)
I guess I'm not just born as a socialite.....but that's alright with me though since I'm introvert to begin with so I prefer to be alone, reading books, rather than talking to people about trivial things
Why should I exhaust myself thinking about what I'm going to say during a conversation when it's all about 'meaningless' things?
AQ Test Score: 40
That's what they usually say about me (they say it to my face as well)
I guess I'm not just born as a socialite.....but that's alright with me though since I'm introvert to begin with so I prefer to be alone, reading books, rather than talking to people about trivial things
Why should I exhaust myself thinking about what I'm going to say during a conversation when it's all about 'meaningless' things?
AQ Test Score: 40
I find that people help me broaden my focus sometimes. I tend to get too stuck in minute, trivial things when I spend too much time learning alone. Interacting with others has also greatly helped me develop my critical thinking skills.
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Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).
Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.
I struggle during 'trivial' social conversation (especially if it's about things like shopping, girly things, etc.) because I just don't know what to say and I get easily confused and exhausted just thinking what I'm going to say (so I give up and not think about it)
And even I do know what to say.... I can't keep it up, so I tend to be quiet and listen to other people instead
I prefer to talk about school, and other things like math, science and psychology....though at the same time, I somehow don't want to talk about them because I can talk and ask questions ALOT.....I once did it (I ask things about the brain to a friend who's really knowledgeable in science) and a friend told me to shut up (though I hoped she didn't mean it as an insult), while the other one said that I get easily fascinated about things I find interesting and get overly obsessed about it...
(I guess they just want to get off the topic)
So I said sorry and did not talk about it anymore...
And even I do know what to say.... I can't keep it up, so I tend to be quiet and listen to other people instead
I prefer to talk about school, and other things like math, science and psychology....though at the same time, I somehow don't want to talk about them because I can talk and ask questions ALOT.....I once did it (I ask things about the brain to a friend who's really knowledgeable in science) and a friend told me to shut up (though I hoped she didn't mean it as an insult), while the other one said that I get easily fascinated about things I find interesting and get overly obsessed about it...
(I guess they just want to get off the topic)
So I said sorry and did not talk about it anymore...
_________________
Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).
Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.
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