Does anyone else find that they don't miss people?

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I will not go into any detail as i don't want to upset myself but yes, i miss certain people terribly so. Recently i successfully got in touch with people who i had not seen in years only to find out that the person in that social circle who i was closest too had died. That is time i will never make up and the pain from that horrible. However this only reinforced in my head the reasons why i initially escaped that clique. Certain people treat me in such a disgusting and disrespectful way that i can't ever forgive. They did this when i was at my lowest ebb after i had narrowly escaped a custodial sentence, i was on a tag trapped in a barley furnished flat. I had been humiliated in court, branded a pervert, weirdo (Ok, so i am bit strange), fantasist and stalker. All defamatory but i have yet to rebuild my reputation or fully recovered form this ordeal. At times like that you expect your true friends to support you. But not these, the nasty heartless childish so and so's. That was a long time ago but as i said, i recently got in touch with them and took the time to finally tell them exactly how i disgusted in them i was. I must have missed them somewhat to get in touch but in the first place but i have got a lot of hurt of my chest by telling them exactly what i think about them. I am somewhat glad i wont have to deal with them again though.

I know i am very open and honest on this message board but i also miss other people but that's private. I did go on a bit din't i.

I think this issue can best be understood by looking at dogs and cats.

Dogs miss their owners right away when they are not with them. It is because they need their group to feel good.

I believe it can take somewhat longer for cats to miss their owner just as bad as dogs do, because cats are natural solo hunters. They do not have an innate need to have company all the time.


So I would say it is completely natural for people with AS to find it more difficult to start missing people.


Missing people NTs is like craving alone-time for people with AS. And craving alone-time for NT people is like missing for AS people.


One big difference between cats and dogs is that cats remember their owners a long time after they are seperated from them because of their great memory. Dogs are much more likely to forget about their previous owners when they get new owners (I believe).

It is all just a matter of different brain functioning. No reason to feel bad about one or the other.

How? This thread is about missing people, not empathy.

I realise this was a very old post, but it was also the most beautiful explanation for this experience that I've read so far, and the one that felt truest. I remember having a dog, a dog so massively over attached to me that she would cry non-stop just being out of the room, couldn't even sleep in her bed because she wanted to be sat on me all the time. When we had to find her a new family after my mum died, I was devastated at the idea of how hurt she'd be being 'abandoned' by me, and insisted the new family had her for a one/two week trial so I could see how she was after. Man I will never forget how after this trial she trotted back in, noticed me, and then indifferently walked back to her new owners! On the other hand, I have missed people for such a ridiculously long time after losing them, maybe like cats, as you say, who don't forget

I don't think I've ever really experienced "missing someone".

I just got diagnosed today - was a total surprise. So, yeah - I don't miss people - weird. I never realized this. I just don't bond. Until now, I blamed it on my poor mother. But I think if I lost a family member or dear friend, I would be totally devastated... and I worry about that constantly. (Just found out I have serious anxiety disorder too - lovin' it! Just embracing it all here!)

I should have added that:

Other than the above, I can't honestly say that I miss people. I can appreciate someone, but it's close to out of sight, out of mind. A memory of them might come to mind, but it won't trigger the feeling of missing them. If a place where i interacted with good people disappears, like when Spectrumville was closed, I will miss the atmosphere of the place and posting there and the interactions with those I liked, but not really any individuals, or if I do it's a very shallow feeling of missing them, nothing like missing a loved one, even when that is just for a short time.

I never miss people I have interacted with (except loved ones) IRL either. When I was between 2 and almost 6, there was a girl i played with almost daily. Then she moved away, and I never missed her or playing with her, or started looking for other kids to play with. Then we moved too and when I was 6, I played with another girl almost daily. Then I turned 7 and started school, and she wouldn't play with me anymore, and I was indifferent. Kids I played with in elementary school was out of sight out of mind, and honestly often not in mind even when in sight. I liked the games we played, but I didn't have feelings for my playmates, even though I liked some better than others, it was a shallow like. And it's the same with other people that have been in my life.
My junior high class was a great class, very good ambience in that class. I remember that fondly, but I never miss anyone from that class, but sometimes the feeling it had overall, but mostly just reminiscing about it being good rather than missing it.

I have missed 2/3 people in my life.

A threw times in the past I had dropped close friends because the dynamic of them or our friendship changed in a way I felt unconformable with. People I known for 5/6 years, I made no attempt at trying to talk it threw or anything like that. Text them "I don't think we can be friends" and moved on. When there got pissed off about it, it confused me to why, I think I thought I could not be all that meaning full to anyone for them to get annoyed and expected them to be able to move on like I did.

The more I age the more I know that is not the right way to do things.