Why dont you make eye contact

Post Reply New Topic

Yep...
While I have no trouble at all looking into other people's eyes, I consciously close mine when something more complicated information wise is on TV.
Less data processing competition...
Simples...

Wow...until I read this, I had never thought about how much I'm missing by not looking people in the face. My mother tells me that men flirt with me all the time, and I keep missing it. This could be why...it's not what they're saying but how they're saying it.

Its mostly a combination of one and two.

I also have a tendency to look through people. I'll be talking to them facing their direction. Maybe even appear to make eye contact, but not really 'seeing' them. Does that make any sense?

Exactly.
Other than that it's a mixture of "Its hard to listen to what a person says and look at them at the same time" and "It puts a lot of pressure on me and it causes an anxiety attack." I just feel really, really weird when I have to look someone in the eye, I don't know.

I can't concentrate on trying to achieve "normal" eye contact and take in what the person is saying at the same time. I feel uncomfortable looking at people's eyes anyway, so I try not to worry about the eye contact and just concentrate on what they're saying. Anyway, I'm in a more fortunate position than most here in that my employers are aware of my Aspergers and I openly discuss it with my work colleagues.

Aspergers is not a dirty little secret you need to keep hidden.
That's not to say you're obligated to tell everyone you meet but certainly don't be ashamed of it. Discretion is the key!

I voted the first one but I would say it is a mixture.
mainly because:
1) it is hard to talk/listen while looking at someone's eyes
2) it feels uncomfortable, it is like I have to pull away. I think it is because it is too intimate
Usually I look one second, look away for 30, think what I am going to say etc in this pattern. I can look longer if it is someone I know!
But if I am not talking to the person and the person is not paying attention to me I stare. My friends said this freaks people but well...

Yes, me too.

I tend to stare like this as well. I always thought it went unnoticed until one day, my (ex-)partner (who was sitting next to me) said "Why are you staring at 'whoever the stranger was' I was staring at.

I like to sit in shopping centres and observe peoples' behaviour. Humans are strange creatures

Me too, I like to arm myself with knowledge before engaging in a conversation. I need to know what they mean by their expressions and body language. Plus it's just interesting to observe!

I don't look in peoples' eyes because... well, it does cause anxiety now and again. Sometimes I get headaches when in a conversation with someone and I try to look in their eyes. Sometimes I don't look just because I don't want them to know what I'm feeling, in case I react in a strange way or something. Lots of different reasons.

yeesssss! totally identify.
I stare at people because I don't understand much of what they do so I gather information about them observing.
When I was 8 yo I stared too much so my mother taught me not to do it and I thought I had stopped. Until some days ago I asked my friends how people viewed me and one of the things they said is that everyone notices I stare at people and that it makes me weirdER and is creepy.
I didn't realize I was doing it either, I could swear I was making appropriate eye contact but go figure.
yes humans are damn strange and for me, fascinating.

Me 3...
I did one study in a shopping centre recently to determine what people do with their hands when they are walking...
But this is off topic so I won't give you my findings...

Hoomans are indeed strange creatures...
I find them fascinating and tend to stare a lot as a result...

I think there is a pattern emerging...

what was the finding? I am curious...
Yes maybe there is a pattern here!
in asperger screening tests there is always a question "do you tend to stare at people?". probably this is the cause

The thought just doesn't occur to me. I'm really only able to remember it during job interviews or other things where its super-stressed

When I was younger I never even thought eye contact was a thing, until they tried drilling it into my head in elementary school. Still feels kind of unnatural and creepy to me.

HAHA! SAME! i was told to make eye contact in Middle school and i was like 'thats a thing?'. i was Staring at people as they spoke all day, it was so different!