If you could choose not to be Aspie would you?

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I clicked on yes.

I'm not very happy at the moment with the way things are for me. I'm extremely lonely, frustrated, isolated stressed out and is all to do with me having AS and having to live up to the expectations of NT's.

If I could take a bit of time out (Like ten years or something) then I might feel different.

I know these feelings all too well. NTs look at us and are like you look fine and have no concept of what we deal with day to day in our lives. One thing that has helped is IGNORING the expectations of the NTs around me. Not easy to do but remind them if they had to spend just 24 hours with our issues, they'd likely have a meltdown before the day was out due to frustrations.

I have NO answers but wish I did. I can only empathize having similar issues day to day. What keeps my sanity? For one just accepting my lot in life and refusing to be bitter about it. Two, I divert my attention towards things I enjoy and immerse myself with that to help with the bad thoughts and emotions. I make sure I accomplish at least one thing good with these interests I have and dwell on that instead of the negative.

I have the ability to what I call hyperfocus on things I enjoy doing. I can get so intensely lost in what I am doing that most of the day can zip away when I am in this state. I think most of us have that ability, I just practiced such that I can control and utilize it at will. I let this hyperfocus take over and crowd out all the negativity I would otherwise be dwelling on. Hopefully you have interest(s) upon which you can focus like this on. If not, see if you can find something you really like. Don't worry about what others think about it and just enjoy! This works well for me unless I am in much pain or a severe migraine that I am unable to tune out.

The worst is at night lying in bed with the thoughts racing. I do find that if I do enough of 2 above that I am normally mentally tired enough to drift off unless pain from other conditions is particularly bothersome. I find the time release 10mg melatonin also seems to help greatly.

Being on the spectrum can be a gift or a curse, it is all based on YOUR perspective. I choose long ago to concentrate on what I was good at and stop dwelling on the things I can't do. It seems it works for the most part. Is it perfect? No but it is better then dwelling upon these issues and letting severe depression take over. I was only diagnosed last year however I have been using these tactics for a long time now.

Last and most important is to stop caring what others think! I can't stress this enough. Why would you want to? Well for one, it is YOUR life and decide you are going to live it for yourself and not to please others. I found out long ago no matter how hard I tried, I could NEVER please others anyhow. I was just driving myself crazy trying to.

I hope this helps, probably not. Just know many of us understand the feelings and the despair surrounding our conditions. And all of us are different so what works for one may not work for another. But I firmly believe if you can pursue things you like and hyperfocus on them, at least a good part of our days can be enjoyable. Just ignore those pesky NTs because they are

^^Thanks for that^^

It's more the fact that nobody knows about my AS, so I just get treated the same as everyone else. That's great really because that's what everyone wants, just to be accepted.

But I think I've hit a wall with it and I can't express my emotions verbally out loud so nobody even knows that I'm actually going through quite a rough time.

I just keep going and going.

I just think that if I could operate as a fully functioning person in the world without the AS then things would be easier for me.

I look around at everyone else and they seem to do ok and they have the same amount of pressures as me.

I don't know where all this will end.

I can't afford to give up my work and I have to do about 50 hours a week because I'm not entitled to any type of support or benefits.

I don't really get much me time.

Similar to me as no one knew I had it either including myself. So I had to force myself to try and appear normal. Apparently it was a rather crude attempt and made me look even worse. I was oblivious to all that however. When I was physically able to work, most of my jobs up till the last 10 years accepted my quirks because of what I could do for them. Now that disability (physical and some mental) have set in, my issues seem too much for employers to handle. If my brain still functioned as well as it did say 10 years ago (job-wise functioning) I'd be all set. But physical problems also took a toll on me mentally destroying short term memory. Not a good thing for a programmer/engineer. I was so bad at last job they started calling me the post-it king because the files would be literally peppered with dozens of post-its hanging out like tabs with notes on them all because I couldn't remember and keep it straight in my head. They helped but not enough.

Just remember you have your friends here to vent to if it helps. I know it does me when I am down!

I know! Thanks.

I think I'm in burn out mode. It'll probably pass at some point.

Faster than you could say, "Yes, please!!"

I HATE feeling like a freak. I HATE analyzing everything I do and say, only to look back and see where I dropped the ball in the worst ways. I HATE being afraid to leave my house because I know I have a higher-than-usual likelihood of messing something up today.

I HATE being rejected, I HATE being misunderstood, and I HATE seeing my kids get rejected because of what I am.

My first choice would be to get out of this stuck-up exurban hellpit and go back to the boonies.

But since that would mean either getting a divorce or wrecking my husband's career (like it's not killing him, I don't know how you engineers stand it), I would like to be normal.

I think it would be easier.

I always feel the person I am at work is just a performance. I can look someone in the eyes for a few seconds and smile and talk to them. It is hard and I am exhausted when I get home but I can do it for awhile. I have learned to be a decent listener because of my field and can write down what I am interpreting. Otherwise it goes in one ear and out the other. But I just smile and nod. It is hard though when I miss something important that my boss just said.

On the one hand, I would like to know what it's like to be able to empathize without having to do a large amount of thinking, but I also appreciate who I am and what I can do. My Aspergers has given me the ability to have laser focus on what I like. I have learned so much due to my fixations.

Like all things in life, it's a combination of the good and bad,

Well [and I know that NTs' have problems too] it would probably make life so much easier. Integrity, kindness, TRUE empathy and compassion,unselfishness, non-manipulative, these are some of the qualities I like best in myself. These are Characteristics extremely common in Autistics.

If I was no longer Autisic, would I become more shallow,more lemming like? WHen I was younger, I was what society calls attractive. Would I have become one of the MEAN popular girls because of that? Would I spend an hour upset about a broken fingernail? Would I still be feeding my homeless friends on Lawrence Street? Would I become predatory? Would I cause others pain while climbing s fr to the top of the pack? Would I also lose my ADHD,, because I suspect that is what makes me so excited about life. I could not take a chance of losing any of these. And I doubt I would be dedicating my last part of life working on helping to make the world easier for Autistic people [ that's what we need]

I would love for life to be easier, I an working on making life easier for Autistics. Right now it is hard, but I would never choose to be "cured" when I have no disease

It is acceptance and accomodation we need. I realize that I will be long gone when this happens in 20 or 30 years,but Ican envision a time when the only downside for an autistic diagnosis will be parents having to explain that baby gitrl is autistic to her siblings without them becoming totally envious that they are not Autistic as well.

Eh, I'd do it just to get rid of the sensory sensitivities and the executive dysfunctioning. In some ways being an aspie can be a good thing, but I've sort of realized that it's hard as s**t to function in the real world as one. If I could be one of the NT masses and not give a s**t, I would probably feel much happier.

That said, becoming an NT overnight would really screw things up for me. It takes time for an NT to learn s**t, even how to be "NT", because in a lot of ways, an NT infant is more like an aspie/autie than an NT adult. "Starting out" as an NT in this stage of life would be really difficult.

Absolutely not!

I'm happy being an Aspie, but if there was one part of me I could get rid of and give to someone else, it would be my epilepsy.

Would I choose to be normal?

The answer is that I might if it made other people happier.

That's my real problem. I fail at knowing what to say, being able to speak at all, body language... every facet of human interaction... which makes it just about impossible to truly please anyone. Even when people say just being around them is enough it makes me feel so insecure to be around people in real life. Especially for long periods of time. They do all this stuff and are able to express themselves with ease.

I don't believe I would want to be an NT, there are no guarantees that my life would be any better.

Life has been hard at times but it has also been fascinating. I have done so much more than my NT friends and they seem to think I have a 'charmed' life.

Yes, I'd like not to be lonely, to have a companion to share life with, but NT's seem to have as many problems hanging on to each other as I've had.

Overall I say 'no'. At this late stage in life I would have too much of my experience of this world to give up.

No! I'm happy with who I am. I like me. I love my Special Interests. I love solitude. I've always been the same. I never knew there was a reason for how I was until I got diagnosed but knowing why I am like I am still doesn't change anything. I still like me. It does make social interaction very uncomfortable but as I said, I love solitude anyway.

Now I know why I can sit and program for 12 hours non-stop. People come and go - I don't notice because I'm in hyperfocus. I see many unconventional and imaginative ways to solve problems others would never think of in a million years - Sometimes I surprise myself.

There's just so much good about being an Aspie, I'll take the good with the bad any day because the good is AWESOME and the bad ain't all that bad (to me)!

What I find a scary implication of this choice:
Hypothetical: a magic pill is invented that will permanently turn anyone with ASD into an NT with full social skills (grossly improbable simplification of more likely scenarios, of course)

As we can see from discussions like these, some would readily take it, some would probably take it eventually with aprehension, and others would readily refuse it. Therefore, after access becomes widespread, being on the spectrum could be considered a voluntary choice. As a result of this, however, I believe that all the support and accomodations that exist currently and by this hypothetical point (presuming constant progress from our advocacy) would begin to vanish. I doubt many in society would wish to pay for any form of lifelong services and be "inconvenienced" by accomodations when they could just pay for the magic cure once and get rid of "the problem". As a result, all those chosing to remain on the spectrum would be plagued by the problem of diminishing accomodations and assistance. This could force many more to reluctantly take the cure out of desperation. The end result might be a much smaller population on the spectrum of those willing and able to survive with few to no accomodations and services.</hypothetical>

Therefore, I believe this scenario calls into question whether a cure could be completely voluntary, so I am curious what others think. Of course, realistic cures would be much worse than the hypothetical magic pill, but the question exists on whether society would rather force the cure than accomodate us.

*Nota Optime: I am not advocating the views of hypothetical people in society, but I believe they would be extremely prevalent nevertheless

I disagree. If there was a pill you could take to make you Aspie, well then it would be seen the same as smoking - a choice to do it and then, I believe they would not be allowed these services you speak of (don't think there are any here in Australia???). Just like a doctor can refuse to treat a smoker.

BUT

What we're talking about here is people who are BORN with AS - not by choice. By nature - and just as they can't force you to have a blood transfusion or organ transplant if you need it, they can't force you to become NT. It's your God given, natural right to not change and no one can force you to change. Since it's dished out by nature though, any fair government should provide help for those who are struggling from their gift of nature.