Do you ever feel bad about being anti-social?

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MaKin
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16 Jun 2014, 8:46 pm

I cannot feel badly for having the natural inclination to not be a social creature. I have been encouraged for my entire life to socialize, and can't understand why I should have to do what I've got no reason to do, other than to conform to an ideal that holds no interest to me.

Shadi2
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16 Jun 2014, 9:19 pm

questor wrote:

Most of us on the spectrum are not anti social--we are non social. People who are anti social tend to be mad at the world, or hate a lot of other people, and not always rationally.

Exactly. That's why I felt I had to explain I'm not actually "anti-social", I'm not anti society or against society, I'm just not a social butterfly, and I'm happy by myself doing my own thing, I'm not mad at the world or society or anything, I don't hate people, and if someone needed help I would help if I can, etc.

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Deb1970
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16 Jun 2014, 10:01 pm

If being social means that you have to do what others want you to do then don't be social. I'm not able to do that. Some people I work with are very controlling and always want me to do things there way, I do things in a way that is easiest for me. If it leads to others not talking to me then that's just the way things will have to be. I do not like controlling people....

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StarsInMyMargarita
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16 Jun 2014, 10:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

"Extenuating circumstances" mean you didn't get good grades because of something which might have happened to you, such as the passing away of a relative. Or maybe you were stressing over your parents getting laid off--and not being able to work full time to support the family. Things like that.

How many credits must you take in order to get off "aid suspension?" A 2.0 is easy enough to achieve, provided you attend at least 80 percent of your classes, and pass all your exams. That's a "C" average.

In your "improvement plan," you could say that you'll start following the syllabus more thoroughly, and that you'll attend all your classes. You might also say that you will set aside a couple of hours a day just for studying.

So no circumstances that really apply, lol. My current GPA is .65... I'm not sure how to do the math with a cumulative GPA.
An online calculator says I need a B in five 3 credit classes to barely get a 2.0.

Tuition was $133 per credit. Then there's books, supplies, fees. Wonder what my credit card limit is. Lol, I guess I'll start saving.

I appreciate your suggestions for the improvement plan!

kraftiekortie
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16 Jun 2014, 11:45 pm

For some intro courses (especially if you get an easy professor), you might even be able to pull off A's. To be honest, I forgot what your primary interests are.

You seem to be able to write decently--so you might be able to ace Freshman Composition.

Sweetleaf
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17 Jun 2014, 12:34 am

I am not anti-social so no...but anti-social specifically refers to more going out of your way to be a jerk, like behavior that makes other people not want to be around you because it hurts them like more along the lines of psychopathy if that makes sense. But I get what you mean...sometimes I feel bad about not being as 'social' as most and having trouble with communication/social skills and am afraid I could come off as anti-social.

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mr_bigmouth_502
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17 Jun 2014, 1:22 am

I thought being anti-social simply meant that you didn't like socialization, or being around other people. Even though I like to socialize with certain people, I still consider myself somewhat antisocial, because there's only a certain amount of socialization I can tolerate before I need to hide somewhere and be by myself for a while. As well, I don't like sudden, "unexpected" interactions with other people, especially people I don't know all too well.

RunningFox
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17 Jun 2014, 2:15 am

qawer wrote:

Do you ever feel bad about being anti-social?

I mean, do you ever come to feel like a "bad person" because you do not want to "share yourself" with others socially.

This is a dilemma for me. On the one hand I hate all the social play/teasing/bullying going on. But I realize it has to be there to make a social group work. If you are not ready to act submissively for more well-accepted/popular people than yourself, you act anti-socially. Really!

But this acting submissive for the group makes me feel awful.

How does one deal with this?

IDK, I dont hang around with people like that. It becomes pretty clear pretty quickly to those I am around that I am not submissive. Why do you explain this as tho it is the norm or some kind of natural law?

There are times when I cant be social for a medical reason, but I am not anti social. What makes you think you are anti social or have to be submissive?

Sweetleaf
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17 Jun 2014, 2:19 am

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:

That is what lots of people think it means, but it actually means more active negative behavior towards people, found that out when I took psychology in college.

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Al725
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17 Jun 2014, 2:25 am

I did for a while, but now that I know it's impossible for this is me in some cases, I don't. If NTs can't exept who I'am, then screw them!

hanyo
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17 Jun 2014, 4:39 am

qawer wrote:

This is a dilemma for me. On the one hand I hate all the social play/teasing/bullying going on. But I realize it has to be there to make a social group work. If you are not ready to act submissively for more well-accepted/popular people than yourself, you act anti-socially. Really!

I don't feel bad at all about being antisocial. Most of the time I just want to be left alone.

I'll never accept teasing and bullying and I'd never feel bad about that. I'd be too occupied with being mad that they would treat me that way than feel bad.

Who_Am_I
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17 Jun 2014, 5:16 am

No.

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SoMissunderstood
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17 Jun 2014, 8:33 am

qawer wrote:

I really don't know how I feel about being anti-social anymore. I guess I am still coming to terms with not fitting in or being accepted due to who I am.

Part of me feels lonely sometimes when I see others and their friends laughing, socialising and having a 'good time', but there's a part of me that also goes 'what a bunch of shallow airheads' you know?

So, I am on a see-saw about it, so I just go 'pffft...to each their own'.

LupaLuna
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17 Jun 2014, 8:46 am

questor wrote:

Most of us on the spectrum are not anti social--we are non social. People who are anti social tend to be mad at the world, or hate a lot of other people, and not always rationally. Non social people may be mad about some specific things and some specific people, but are other wise not mad at anyone or thing. I am non social, not anti social. I will never be a social butterfly, but that's fine with me. Unfortunately, my upper 80s extrovert father has a problem with my non social status, and keeps trying to make me change. I am in my mid 50s. If I haven't turned into a social butterfly by now, and am fine with being non social, that change ain't gonna happen. lol

I have to agree with you on that one. But there are also socially impaired people out there as well, and what I mean by socially impaired is a person who wants to socialize but can't make it work. It's a lot like person who wants to play in a ball game but can't catch the ball because their hand/eye coordination sucks. But then again, social impairment is the result of aspergers anyways.

freddie_mercury
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17 Jun 2014, 1:41 pm

When I talked about this with my counselor, he helped me verbalize (and understand) that I like being alone - but I don't like being lonely. And the biggest difference is that when I am alone, it is because I chose to be that way. But when I am lonely, it is because I didn't choose to be.

So I don't feel bad about not being social. I am perfectly happy going to my room when there is a houseful of people (even when it is my own house).

Lost_Dreamer
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17 Jun 2014, 2:15 pm

I don't feel bad about not being social most of the times, in few of the times such in family events, I do feel a bit rude for wanting to be alone and away from it :/

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