Taking things literally - funny moments? :)

Post Reply New Topic

Don't blame you for being confused. Frankly I am not sure what your mom meant by saying "organisms that make you breath hard and your heart to beat faster".

If she had said "animals" instead of "organisms" I would have understood her to mean "animals that inspire fear in you". So I would think...lions, tigers, bears, crocodiles, poisonous snakes, sharks, some kinds of spiders, and like that. That's probably what she meant. But if she said "organisms"...then that sounds like she is talking some kind of microbial germ that infects you with a respiratory disease that causes you to breath harder etc (somekind of flu virus). WTF? She did pick an odd way to put a sentence together.

It's orgasm. It's something sexual. It happens during sex, it happens during foreplay, and any sexual activities.

I at first thought I did a typo in my post and actually wrote 'organisms.'

In the Summer of 1998 when I had my first breakdown, my mum told me that my resource room teacher in high school said that I'm that Special K. The next day, I walked into my sister's room. I took the blue Kokanee beer sticker which was the K that the name of the brand started with and put it on my mouth. My mum walked into the room and asked me what I was doing in my sister's room. She also told me to put that sticker back where I found it.

Okay. I see that you wrote "orgasm" ( Im a grown up and do what that means.). But (at least in males) an orgasm does literally make you breath harder and make your heart beat faster. So I don't get it. What your mom was saying. In fact years ago some neighbor called me on the phone and the first thing he said after we exchanged greetings was "What were you just doing? Sounds like you're trying to catch your breath!". Instead of telling the truth (that I just gotten through masturbating the moment the phone rang) I had to make up a fib that I had "just gotten through jogging". The point being that physical excercies and orgasms both have that same effect.

We were talking about orgasms and she was telling me what they were. Then she started listing what can make you have an orgasm and I mentioned "exercising." She did say you breath harder and your heart beats faster when you have an orgasm and I mentioned "exercising." Yeah totally irrelevant to the topic which is why she found it funny. Exercising is not a sexual activity unless you consider sex a work out. "Hey, your father and I are going to work out in our bedroom so you kids stay down here and watch TV and stay out of trouble while we go exercise." Then the kids hear the bed shaking and think their parents are doing work outs on their bed. Well they got that right except they have no idea.

I was sitting on the thing in the doctors office.
Like this (I am the *)
.
.
*
.
.

The doctor told me to lay down.
This happened;
.
.
*****
.
.

In other words I laid strait back. Instead of turning and then laying.

I flew to LA to start a bicycle tour, and asked at a bike shop for a recommendation for a cheap motel. They didn't usually deal with travellers, but had noticed a "Motel 6" nearby. Checking in, I learned that the $6 rate was not for overnight. Back in the store the next day, I was surprised to be recognized, but they asked how it was. I advised them that the low rate was "For people who only wanted a nap" to general amusement.

A few months later, a roommate threw a party, and I had not realized that as a junior bureaucrat, she had invited mostly other civil servants. Someone came up to get acquainted, and led off with "Are you with the government?"
"No," I snapped back automatically "I'm against it." He moved away, but I noticed him repeating the story, with glances in my direction.