Do you have a strong or weak personality??

Post Reply New Topic

I wouldn't deliberately want that to happen, guys, but I'm prepared to trust my spooky gurus, life, death, nature, fate, fortune, god, the universe and all that, whatever, to regulate the number of peeps who send me emails asking how I managed to survive my suicide ideation. Those peeps will probably check me out from my author archive on the HuffPost before deciding if they'll bother to email me. There they can find my website and blogsite where they can also find out more about me. They'll also find titles of my books so they can go check them to see if I'm genuine and may be worth them emailing me. My books set out how I have done it, so some might not need to email me direct. My email system could be crashed by a concerted campaign to crash it, but my guess is only trolls would want to crash me and I don't remember Wrong Planet having to put up with armies of trolls - only the occasional half brained w*ker - so I do not think I will become the target of a campaign by fanatical neurotypical eugenicists to let all the auties and aspies in wrongplanet kill themselves from lack of having me to email. You have to trust life, death, nature, fate, fortune, god, the universe and all that, whatever, to get it right once in a while.

I believe Adrian, Esq, makes a good case for himself (to say the least).

I have a strongly weak personality, except when I have a weakly strong one. I don't follow leaders unless they prove to me that they are worth following. I won't lead as I lack the right stuff for that. I try my best to stay out of the way.

Both. I'm quite headstrong though.

I think mine is getting stronger.

I had a weak personality through my early twenties. I'd act like a doormat for a long time then I'd go into meltdown and come out looking like the bad guy. I think the problem was I waited too long to assert myself. That could have had something to do with the sedatives I was on. In my childhood I'd just meltdown straight away with little provocation. Without those sedatives maybe I'd still be like that. Or maybe I'd be better off now. I don't know.

But still I think in the last few years not only have I become more assertive (without letting it turn into aggression like I used to) but I think my will power has grown stronger as well.

I think many of us have a significant split with identity, as well as a significant amount of what they call "existential depression", and so I think that thoughts of leaving this world/existence would be quite common to this group.

Both, I don't think about it as strong or weak though, I yam what I yam

^^^^
and thank the stars for that!

auntblabby, your one nice guy I think I got the Popeye quote from you.

thank you we yam what we yam

How does one measure this, is there objectively weak or strong personality? I'm me, where that fits in the spectrum I don't know. I don't think I have a weak personality but I certainly aint strong, normal? I wish. None of the above maybe.

I made my first conscious suicide attempt when I was three and a half years of age. I was born in 1945, six months before the end of the Second World War, to very religious, 'Born Again Christian' parents, who were conscientious objectors to war, who were therefore under 'house arrest' and had to work long hours in 'reserved industries' so the police would always know where to find them, if they ever needed to, for any reason. It meant being deeply hated. Because they had to work long hours in reserved occupations, we lived with my mother's maternal grandfather, who was a widower and retired, and therefore my constant waking companion, six days a week, fifty two weeks a year, from when I was three days old, until my suicide attempt, which was with him, because all I did was imitate what he did. although I knew full well, that it was a suicide attempt, to escape this life, and go to wherever you go when you die. In my world, at that time, the place we would have gone, would have been hell, because we would not deserve, to go to heaven, for doing that, as it was a sin, well, in the eyes of my parents, it was a sin, but not in the eyes of my fellow suicider, because he lived to a different set of beliefs to them, in which hell was reserved for fallen angels, not humans. In his belief system, all humans went to heaven when they die, unless it is not their turn to die, in which case, they simply get sent back here, to try to pick up the pieces, as best they can, and get on with living this life. The only problem with this arrangement is that if you or anyone else makes such a mess of your body and brain on your way out of it, or while you are away, and you cant get back in them and bring them back to life, your soul or spirit or whatever gets trapped in the membrane between life on earth and life in heaven, until it's time legitimately for you to die, and be allowed into heaven, if you can find your way back to the pearly gate, within the pitch blackness of the membrane. Our suicide attempt was by jumping off a bridge into a river. My chest went into severe asthma spasm as I hit the cold water, so I couldn't breathe any of the water in. But his didn' t and he took in a lot of raw sewage as the river was in flood. Although we were both rescued by lifeguards from the local park that the river ran alongside, and I therefore survived, he died a year later of complications caused by lung infections. I do not know if that is any indication that I had a strong personality at that age - but I don't think so, as I functioned in that incident as a follower rather than as a leader, but I was very head strong in that I had the choice of doing it or not doing it, and I did it, so in that sense, I exercised choice, which meant that I had a strong enough personality to do that.

^^^
gosh, what an awful experience.

LOL - no - it was more awesome than awful - he took me to heaven to meet his dead wife, dead mum and dead dad, and his team of divine gurus, Gaea, Zeus and Hermes, when I was only three days old, accompanied my mum and dad, before they had to go to work, because he was going to take me there again after lunch every day, six days a week, until I started attending school, for pre-schooling by his gurus and his because he was deaf and dumb and could only communicate with me by telepathy and psychokinesis. When my dad met his gurus, Gaea, Zeus and Hermes, he insisted that I should also be tutored by gurus chosen of him and my mum as well as my mother's maternal grandfather, so we had to recruit the Biblical God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to my team of tutors as well. To them they added my own namesake trinity, David the King of Israel, Adrian the Roman Emperor that conquered England and Wales, and Thomas the disciple of Jesus; and The Grim Reaper as he was going to have a lot to do with me at later stages, because, though I didn't know it at the time, only they did, suicide ideation was going to become a way of life to me, so I would need to get a lot of practice before I started coaching and counselling suicide ideators here on earth.

That practice began the day after my first suicide attempt, as I self-induced severe asthma spasm to black my body and brain out through oxygen starvation into a near death coma for me to go out of body to heaven for my tutorials from my team of gurus and my mother's maternal grandfather dad, because I discovered from my suicide attempt that was a way I could fly solo to heaven without my mother's maternal grandfather taking me. I continued doing that after lunch six days a week for the next four years of my life, even when I attended school. The first couple of times I did it at school it caused so much mayhem among the other pupils that, from then on, I was locked in a storeroom by teachers each and every day so it wouldn't interrupt their curriculum.

Consequently, my parents and church supplied me with my own set of encyclopedias and books to study. I had been taught to read and write quite well by the age of three and a half using the same encyclopedia but a paperback edition of it, not the hardback edition I took to school, so I was very familiar with its contents and enjoyed the solitude of studying it on my own at my own pace, and it enabled me to win three college/university scholarship by the age of eleven and a half and become professionally qualified by the age of fifteen and a half. I therefore had a brilliant 50 year career of helping improve the health, wealth, happiness, security and standards of living of billions of people around the world by the time I retired at age 65, after which I wrote and published four bestselling autobiographical books about my life of autism and aspergers syndrome, to win a slot as a featured author on the Huffington Post, all because of that bizarre upbringing, hence awesome not awful:lol:

A weak one.

I know exactly what you're talking about but I think the "doormat" thing is attractive to transgressors BECAUSE of the strong personality. I think it makes some feel "big" to step on what is considered by others to be a strong personality.

Frankly, I got "walked on", primarily, because I didn't want to hurt anyone. I find aggressive people to be quite fragile. Psychologically. But you're right. Eventually, enough is enough. Hence, I've stopped worrying about hurting them but let them know, up front and in no uncertain terms, that I am capable of it. Then I just remove my attention from them and they don't bother me. Nor do they bother anyone else, when I'm around, as I also stick up for others, though I don't like to because I am a sort of "natural leader" and really, REALLY dislike being "followed". I much prefer the temporary, shared interest, side-by-side, "equal" formation. Unfortunately, society only teaches the two, "lead or follow" roles so I'm usually just one, going whichever way looks most interesting. Not following and trying to avoid leading.