My Kafkaesque/Orwellian diagnosis nightmare

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I wished I would have walked out of some stuff. Mainly some abusive workplace things in which I was accused of some stuff. And the 'modern' way seems to be to have more than one person in the room. And not just one person talking and one person witnessing. More than one person is talking. I wished I would have put one foot in front of the other and walked out. But it's kind of like I lacked the language.

You're essentially saying Felinelover needs to play poker at the Doyle Brunson level. That may be strategic or fortunate or whatever. But it's just way too high a standard by which to judge ourselves.

PS And again, what bipolar symptoms????? To all questions, she answered no. It's like the psychiatrist is assuming that every single human being is bipolar to some extent or another, or the subset of every single person who has struggled with depression which is many of us. This might be an interesting academic theory, but the psychiatrist has no right to run it on patients who come to her for help.

There seems to be a part of psychological/psychiatric community that is convinced most ASD is in reality bad character or another mental condition and it is their mission to reverse the tide of "over diagnoses" . At worst these people are harmful to their clients at best they see the obvious but miss the larger syndrome and thus their treatments are only partially effective.

Without knowing you or her I don't know if that your situation. I would try a find a specialist who understands ASD in adult females.

You have a right to not take drugs and a right to a second opinion. In every other medical area a second opinion is not only a right but considered the correct thing to do. Yet in "psychology/psychiatry" this is not accepted but discouraged and considered denial.

Even if she is right her technique is harmful. If a pro thinks a client is in denial they should try and logically convince the client as to why. Any successful treatment is greatly helped by the client understanding why. It seems to me it is all she cares about is making money off of the drugs. Or maybe she is ASD and in denial herself. Her social skills are lacking

Yes it is quite possible to be both ASD and bi-polar.

Thank you AadvarkGoodSwimmer for your very insightful support, and others too.

Disagree with the 'you're not doing yourself any favours' thing - I mean, what the f**k do you think being an aspie means? Thank you Aadvark for coming to my defense.

Today me and husband (again things going well, he's stepped up to support me in this horror of an experience) got my notes from the doctors. The female shrink had written that my clothing is inappropriate, that I arrived late (one minute late - might be able to prove this by contacting taxi company) and some other things many of which were bl;atant lies - some of which I may be able to prove.

Long story short, her view of me was that I was 'at moderate danger to others' and an unfit mum impacting my child's well-being negatively, and need to start strong antipsychotic treatment immediately. She wrote several times about me 'has no insight onto her condition' / 'has no insight onto her illness'.

I saw another shrink early this week (as per the crisis team being on my case, spurred on by the woman shrink), this time with my husband, he seemed to write I do not have bipolar symptoms but yet he still diagnosed me as bipolar and wanted me off antidepressants and onto major antipsychotics/tranquilizers (Seroquel).

Spoken about this with friends, family and uni support team and everyone is shocked. As I am. Seriously.... This is very worrying. Not just worrying for me; not just worrying for my child; but also worrying that if I am treated in this way, how many others are being put on major tranquilizers against their best interests?

I do not have bipolar because I have been on SSRIs for over 5 years very successfully. A shrink I saw privately in August told me she was worried when I described myself as 'possibly bipolar' (I didn't know anything about aspie then) because she said if I was bipolar SSRIs would be the worst possible thing, driving me to complete mania, yet this hasn't happened but I have started a successful career during this time thanks to help from SSRIs. I have investigated the literature and it confirms that bipolars cannot thrive on SSRIs. I have told this to the shrinks, but they obviously do not listen.

Inappropriate clothing -- yes I wear vintage clothes, since when has that been a symptom needing strong antipsychotics?

I cannot say enough how valuable your support has been to me, especially some of you - you know who; can't find your names now.

My husband wants to take legal action, he is worried of the repercussions of me being labeled as unable to look after our child, and also as a risk to others.

I keep thinking this has got to be just a nightmare and I will wake up but no, this is MY life. It could be yours. Learn from this and never engage with public mental health services. If I did not have my healthy lifestyle coping mechanisms in place, this past week's drama would have certainly caused me to have a breakdown, proving that they were right all along.

I mean, the second shrink referred me to aspie diagnosis but in his notes it says 'referral to have AS ruled out; immediate plan 300 mg seroquel'.

I looked at the side effects of seroquel and even much smaller doses cause huge problems. I am very sensitive to the effects of meds anyway. Furthermore, he told me he would only give me 50mg of seroquel, and my husband recorded him saying this, yet his same day notes want to give me six times the stated dose.

If I ever hoped there was sanity in the world at large, that hope is now well and truly gone. It seems like the institutionalised insanity of these 'services' is projecting something onto me (and god knows how many others) and absolutely thrashing the Hippocratic Oath of first do not harm.

Thank you so much for your support and as always, any opinions are much appreciated. This is my worst nightmare and it is made all the more horrifying by 1) there's my child involved and my ability to look after him is questioned and 2) seriously, HOW MANY OTHERS are going through this, have been going through this, and taking the drugs just because they have not had the same training in standing up to authority figures as I have? In my school years I never stood up and that caused my depression in the first place, so I learned the hard way that you've got to do what's right for you, but gosh, most people have not had this opportunity and pursued the support systems of private therapists etc that have got my self esteem in good shape over the past few years. I am terrified of thinking that if this was me 3 years ago I would have accepted their zombie meds.

Edit: forgot to say first shrink had put as final note to do sectioning assessment if I keep 'not complying with mental health services'.... The second one had toned it down, written that I am no danger to myself or others; I do not have bipolar symptoms except I talk fast (I;ve always talked fast; husband testified this is my'normal self' which the doc thankfully duly recorded) - yet he too also diagnosed me as bipolar in a manic episode.... Mentioned my clothes again....Nothing else really there that explained why I should be on meds...

But basically, second shrink put that if I start getting 'more irritable' then sectioning is needed. More irritable?? What do you think this whole fiasko is making me feel? If you ever wondered why NHS is in debt now you may get an inkling as of why... The resources they are wasting on me currently are huge and disproportionate - calling several times a day, wanting me to schedule next day appts with new shrinks (no can do, child's first nativity play etc) expecting me to drop everything..

As a final note, this is like Bullying 2.0. At school I was singled out as odd, mainly due to how I dressed. Please note the similarities to the reports which now want me on major antipsychotics.

It is worrying to realise that I am the sane one amongst all this craziness. Of course if I told that to them they'd have me sectioned immediately as surely that couldn't be the case and that would just seal their ideas of my presumed insanity!

EDIT 2: Your support means SO MUCH to me and I am eagerly hoping that you will keep commenting amidst this crazy-making scheme i am in (oh the irony, lolcats). I want to send you all a virtual hug for helping me hugely over the past week with this ordeal.

Can you go to a third psych wearing conventional clothes and see if they still diagnose you with bipolar?

I would be worried about them showing up to my home to "re-educate" me.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you - and I'm afraid I'm not entirely surprised.

1) From a non-autism aware standpoint, some women with AS really do appear a bit bi-polar. I can certainly see why this misdiagnosis is common. No excuse, but I can definitely see where it's coming from. I am certain now that my mother-in-law is AS but for a long time I wondered if she were bi-polar - she definitely has ups and downs.

2) While you may not like the 'you're not doing yourselves any favours' comment - I think there's a point to that. I totally understand your anger. Totally. You've turned to the system for help and now you feel threatened by the system - no you have been threatened by the system. But the only way out of this is to play the game - that means cooperating with teams, controlling anger and I'm afraid 'dressing normally' - at least for the time being. Think of it as 'battle uniform'. This also means RATIONALLY approaching how your behaviour impacts others - esp mental health care professionals and those in your family. Having an intuitive understanding of how your behaviour impacts on others is something very few NTs do really, really well and something that people on the spectrum don't really do well at all.

3) You offended the woman's professional sensibilities. And she reacted in an unprofessional manner. I've seen this happen before within the NHS (and not just within mental health services). It's a cultural problem within that institution. Knowing this, you need to be careful not to do that again. I know that this is extra hard for someone with AS, but you're going to have to really stretch your theory of mind muscles by doing this as a rational exercise - even though under threat as you are rational thought is difficult. I know you shouldn't have to do this, but you do if you want to get out of your current pickle and get the help you need - which is what you were originally trying to do.

4) You have a right to question any diagnosis, opinion or drug prescription.

These psychologists are ridiculous, they certainly would have a field day in Leipzig during the Gothic Treffen if they think that wearing "unconventional" clothes is a sign of mental illness.

And speaking fast can simply be due to anxiety.

OP, just in case you have any lingering self-doubt after this crazy-making experience, you don't sound in the least psychotic.

Thank you previous poster. And the ones before that.

Indeed, as I mentioned in my starting post for this thread, the psych had asked me if I 'believe I have special powers' and I said it's possible we all have and that science does not yet have the final word on this, and quoted a study from a prestigious psych journal that showed ESP evidence.

Sure enough, in my notes it reads in black and white: "She also spoke about having 'extrasensory perception'".

The psych also said I have had arguments with people on the street recently. This is not true. She said have I had any conflicts with people recently. I said there was one rude bus driver a few weeks back and my husband wanted to report him after he was so rude to me.

Do you people believe she is actually maliciously misrepresenting the content? There's some big porky pies (lies) in the report, including the 'arguing with people on the street', when it was one instance and happened on the bus; it is my word agains hers and she's a shrink and I've already been labelled nuts (by her) so not much hope going against this, but I tell you had I recorded this conversation, boy would she be facing disciplinary action for misrepresentation...

She also said I had taken an impromptu trip last minute during the week of my diagnosis, when in fact I had planned it for 4 weeks. (EDIT: Trip was due to a special interest event happening in another town. Can't say more as soon it will be easy for someone to figure out who I am in RL and I am not ready for those repercussions yet, especially when this has gone tits up so far as it is!)

And on it goes, basically almost everything in the report is a big fat porky pie of a lie or at least gross misrepresentation.

'She was very irritable and preoccupied with equal opportunities, feeling the victim of discrimination and bullying ina number of areas. She talked passionately and at length at women's rights and the inequalities of the class system.'

Thought police anyone? Conspiracy theorists, I am starting to understand where you're coming from. Bearing in mind I was just trying to explain how the AS traits fit me and how I've always felt out of place, and how people put you down if you're eccentric, unless you've got fame and fortune (which I have due to recent career developments - yet she also wrote this down as if it was a delusion; thankfully I have proof of my achievements and how they have been received by the public). Also newsflash: I was bullied for many, many years at school; little did I imagine that a shrink would not be interested in it and its effects on causing me chronic depression, and how AS is possibly the root cause of my bullying by singling me out (which I finally understand now); little did I imagine she'd be unempathetic (wait wasn't that supposed to be what NTs and especially mental health professionals excel at and us aspies suck at?? lolcats) and would only write it down as if it did NOT happen at all. "Feeling the victim of (...) bullying in a number of areas" -- I mean, wtf? Yes, I was beaten up and called names at school almost throughout all the years...

Please tell me if I am dealing with a sociopath here, as this misrepresentation seems like it can only be deliberate...

Also nobody has yet commented on the fact that she put it on record that I am unable to look after my child and am a threat to his well-being...

To me, you've come across as manic with how you're writing and what you're saying. I don't know the full story...only what you've been telling us. I can't defend you or your psychiatrist since the information is incomplete and biased.

You don't sound manic to me at all. You sound properly upset, indignant, and you have been violated. If you were truly manic or having a bipolar event that warranted this sort of intervention from psych professionals, you wouldn't be seeking help. You'd not recognize that you need help or were behaving inappropriately and someone else would have had to take you for help.

I am sick that this is happening to you. I don't know if you have bipolar or not, but this is wrong. I had a neurologist record things about me psychologically and neurologically that were not true. Things I never said and things she twisted to make it fit the diagnosis she was trying to apply to me. She was let go from her practice eventually for malpractice. I found out later that she was let go from a previous practice for incompetency. I had to have my husband come with me to basically "put his foot down" with this woman; unfortunately, women are routinely discredited and used as doormats in clinical settings. Doesn't matter if the professional is a male or female. It also happened to me with a female psychiatrist and several medical doctors afterwards.

I am sorry they are accusing you of being an incompetent or harmful parent. My advice to you would be to be the best parent you can be and to try to be "blameless". Make sure your house is clean in case they come over; regardless of how ridiculous it is, people really do judge others by their ability to keeps things orderly and clean especially when it comes to mental health. Keep your son's hair combed and his face washed. My youngest is like a little pink pig; she doesn't feel food on her face and couldn't care less. She loves to be filthy and as soon as I wash her, she has food in her hair again an hour later. Her hair is like cotton candy if it gets messed up after it dries so I tend to wait to comb it until I actually bathe her to avoid hurting her hair and scalp. Detangling spray only goes so far. Come over to my house any given time and my youngest can look like she has no mother. My oldest is in a lot of ways the opposite and always has been. Look after your son's emotional well-being. Do fun things with him and reassure him; he's going to pick up on or hear about this stress and feel insecure, especially with weirdos showing up on the doorstep with their noisy pill-bottles and crinkly bags, saying things about hearing voices, etc. Give them nothing that can incriminate you. And I second the dressing normally. A lot of weight is placed on how a person dresses and there is some truth to it, whether anyone likes it or not. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

I take 75mg of Seroquel a day specifically for symptoms of autism. It helps me think more clearly.