NiceCupOfTea wrote:
Fair enough.
Have there always been such easily-offended, report-happy people though? Or is this a relatively new thing?
My guess has been yes, as that has been the case in every online forum I have ever belonged to that has moderators. But I don't like to think of it that way. People vary in their ability to deal with dissonance, with disagreement, and with "nastiness." Some people are more sensitive than others. I do not see it as a negative. It is just the way they are, just as some people tend to be more..."nasty" by nature.
I think the best we can do, since this is a shared community, is for those of us who are more "adversity averse" to note those who tend to be "nasty" in general and try not to take it personally. It isn't about you. It's about them. And trying to make them stop is futile and frustrating. And for those of us who tend to be more acerbic to try to be mindful of those who tend to take offense more easily and back-off. I think it is rare that anyone ever sets out to deliberately hurt other people, and I think it is important to remember that while something might not be a big deal to you, it may be a big deal to someone else. We usually don't know what someone else has gone through to shape them into who they are. That goes both ways...both with "overly" sensitive people, and with overly "insensitive people." I personally don't think anyone should have to not be who they are, but as in with the rest of life, sometimes you have to make compromises.
For example, I generally don't mind acerbic people unless they have hit some kind of soft spot. So for the most part, people do not need to tread lightly around me. Online and IRL, I am much more likely to be offended on someone else's behalf than on my own behalf. But I am aware--or at least try to make note of--the fact that some people on this forum will take offense to almost anything that is not coated in rose petals and fairy dust. Why would I provoke a person like that, unless I am--at heart--a bully? I pull my punches with them, instead of "letting it all hang out" like I would with someone who has demonstrated an ability to handle more discourse.
I like you, NiceCupOfTea. I like your humor. I think you believe in "being real" and calling a spade a spade. I get your POV, but sometimes I do wish you would ease up on people who are going to be hurt. Unless, of course, I have read you wrong and you are a playground bully. Then, I'm not such a fan. (But I don't think I have read you wrong).
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Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage