Have you ever wanted to just stop talking all together?

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WOW, you should talk about that on your video. The way you come across there, etc... starts out with you in a BAD light, and goes to odd, misled, etc... If you covered this on your site, you may get closer to just odd. ****WE**** know better because of your posts here and on ASDGESTALT, and your site, and I don't mean to insult you. MOST DON'T know you that well. It's like all the people that are here and OBVIOUSLY are smart, that have been called "ret*d". Even I have, at times, been called stupid by people that didn't know me because of something they didn't understand, etc... Once they know me, they realize that that term isn't appropriate at all.

Steve

Well when I was younger I could talk about any subject matter for hours on end. Then one day somebody
(My step-father) told me to shut the heck(replace with obsenity) up and keep my thought to myself because nobody cares about them. So, then I wished I never learned to talk and I quit talking. I went on that way for about a year then I just found that communication without voclaization especially when one is accustomed to it is really difficult. However, to this day I still rarely voice opinion or thought. Some times I wish I would just blurt out thoughts but then I get hit with toughts of the possiblity of saying something offensive and then the next thing I know I'm in an empty room.

So, if you decide to give up on speaking... be prepared to give up yourself. Don't lose yourself to the personal perspective opinions of others.

OR you could Join me and together we will rule the galaxy dum dum dum dumda dum dumbda dum.
BUt you only have to do that if your really wish it. For, the only one who can make you do anything is your self.

I would like to stop communicating with people all together, but refraining from talking would be nice too.

Actually, I do talk about this extensively on my website and in some of my videos, and it was even covered as close as soundbites can get it in the second day of the TV broadcast. I just don't give a full history (and the full history is even more complex than what I just said -- I once filled ten pages with it) every single time I talk to people. Let's Play Assumption Ping-Pong is one thing where I kind of covered it, but I've written many others about various aspects of this. I also wrote about it here and here =really recently, and a bunch before that. It wasn't really a conscious decision not to speak, but it was more of a function of brain organization I think trying to shut down what was essentially a giant memory-hog in favor of something more communicative (a lot of other things went away too during that time, that wasn't the only one, and I do think it was part of an optimization process). The actual desire to stop was something akin to the desire to sleep: You can put off sleep but eventually it catches up to you, and the desire to sleep is a manifestation of needing sleep.

Interesting enough, before I knew of aspergers and all that, I told my mom that "talking sucked." I would have never realized, at that time, that there was a reason I thought that (of course, I'm more intelligent to ask "why" now)

It may seem like semantics but I think a desire "not to talk" is a desire not to leave my own head,have my thoughts/actions influenced by interaction with another. It isnt a dislike for verbal communication but a desire to avoid any communication.Sometimes I am very verbal and other times it is to draining and seems pointless or distracting from my current activity.For me, learning sign language (dont forget,the people you would be communicating with would also need to learn it...or you would just be signing to a wall)or even a note pad,would not solve the issue of my lack of desire to communicate with others.

It does take less energy to communicate through emails....you dont have to spontaneously try and decipher what the other person is saying/meaning....although real communication usually involves a two person interaction...otherwise it is really a monologue or speech....you desire to share your ideas but dont care what their thoughts/feelings are(most people dont like when we do that)

As far as learning AS,just to learn it,I think it is a beautiful language and love to watch professionals do it(like ballet for the hands)I taught myself the alphabet in grade school,useing the signs in the dictionary then had to teach two peers,so I would have someone to communicate with,they seemed to think it was fun.

ASL is actually an entire language, not just an alphabet, and its grammar and such is totally different than English, the words don't even translate directly, etc. I suppose if you're really good at learning languages it's a good thing. I've only had limited luck, I learned a few signs but that's all.

Sometimes i dont want to speak at all, but sometimes getting me to shut up is a problem.

I speak:

English
Greek (Modern)
Hebrew
Dutch
Dutch Sign Language
Italian (Not fluent)
French (Not fluent)
ASL (Not fluent)

Star

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to come up with words to say. It can be exhausting and needs a lot of effort (I'm sure the depressions come in somewhere here, even the mild ones), and I just don't want to do it, full stop. There is a tranquility and silence inside at these times which I don't want to leave, and talk shatters it. It's like being deep underwater and having to swim all the way up to the surface whenever I have to speak.

When I am like this and happen to have a lesson, all I really care for is that it finish sooner. I don't care what I am saying, what the student is saying, whether they have done their homework or whether they understand what we are learning right now. I have to squeeze the words out of myself, and I usually say whatever, as long as it is more or less relevant, just in order to keep on speaking. I must be a horrible teacher. When the student is gone and I can be alone and keep silent, it is a relief. Like slipping back into a state that is much more natural.

I usually alternate between talking a blue streak (when I'm feeling happy or happen to touch upon one of my interests), talking slowly and taking my time with each word (which feels most natural), and not wanting to talk at all.

When someone bothers me with stupid questions or stupid topics that don't seem to make much sense, and I'm not feeling particularly communicative, I may simply turn away to the window and not reply. Sometimes I also make some inarticulate noise, like "mmmmm", or start humming. I usually have no idea what to say to the other person, and I can't make myself tell them to go to hell openly. So I guess this is my way of showing them that I'm not going to pay attention, and will they please go away and stop bothering me.

The other day, a woman who didn't seem to be fully mentally healthy was nagging me at the bus stop about some mobile phone lottery or something. She was saying something and I didn't reply and just kept turning away from her. It was embarrassing and painful, in a sense - I couldn't think of anything to say and I really wished she left me alone, but I didn't know how to make her do it.

Last edited by ixochiyo_yohuallan on 20 Mar 2007, 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Heh,I speak:

English(my native language)
American Sign Language(learning)
Japanese
Japanese Sign Language(not fluent)
Danish(learning)
Arabic(learning)


-SpaceCase

Mii-San hatchime mashite!

Star

I like your siggy, how's this: "Living with AS is like being a porcupine who's freezing to death, but every time I huddle closer to the other porcupines, OUCH ! !!

I get that feeling a lot. If I could communicate exclusively in text I would.

Sometimes the opposite happens as well, though. If I'm having a conversation about something I'm really interested in I have to stop myself from going on about it too much.

Yes I have wanted to stop talking before, because I fell like everything I say comes out wrong. And because I very often misunderstand what other people say, and fell like they misunderstand me. Whenever I have a bunch of misunderstandings in a row I kind of break down and then say as little as possible for about 2 or 3 hours until my mind gets organized again.

I have the same problems talking in text as well which is why I haven’t come to this site in a few months, all the communication just got to stressful.

I used to talk a lot less then I do now when I was younger, but I trained myself to talk more so that I would seem more normal. I kind of wish I hadn’t thou it’s easier to talk less.

Yes, I think if I lived alone and didn't have to go to work I would have days when I didn't talk, either verbally or online. It does vary a lot with me, being communicative. Some days I'm very chatty, others I hardly even post here but disappear into my shell for a while.