Are you able to control your emotions?

Post Reply New Topic

Three years ago, when I'd first answered this question, I'd said I was trying meditation. As it turned out that was a big failure as my mind just absolutely refuses to slow down or empty out enough for me to concentrate. As far as emotions go I can still be pretty stone faced even others are crying over some issue or laughing at another.

For me control means to suppress or hide emotions you don't want to be shown. That process needs a lot of energy to be done and finally you get overwhelmed or burnout. And, for sure, the emotions you hide do not disappear, they remaing close to you waiting an oppotunity to arise again, maybe as a headache, badmood, sickness....

I have done this for years, eons I guess. Nowadays I still suppres most of the emotions by sometimes I try not to interfere with the process of the emotion in course. I try to be present, to observe it, go with it, let it express....

Let me admit that it is easier to tell than to do, but really, sometimes works and the emotions pass trough and vanish.

Sad to say, but I think of getting angry in public as part of my individuality. I've been wanting to get in touch with my real self again, but reality is getting in the way. Some parts of my individuality are indeed wrong to act on. For context, I only learned how to sort of control my temper in my early teens and how to actually control my temper in my late teens. When you learned how to do something past your single digits but before adulthood, it's usually in the cusp of being in between something being second nature and something being a thing you have to force yourself to do, which means that to an extent, it's second nature for me to control my anger but to an extent, it isn't. For context, people used to want me to change everything about myself. I tried to, but the real me was way too strong and after four years or so of pretending to be someone else, I wanted to get back to my real self. I have a black and white mentality and to me, it's either I be my real self all the way or feel fake. Sad to say, but I guess the haters won in the end, I have to be fake in order to please others.

Always had trouble dealing with negative emotions. Tend to get too upset, and then tend to overreact. Not good. Gradually got better at controlling them, but will never have full control all of the time. Fortunately, as I've gotten a lot older, I seem better able to deal with the negative stresses in my life. Part of what helps is that I now live alone. Living with others was simply way too stressful, and kept causing meltdowns. Another help is that I tend to avoid stressful situations as much as possible now. Because my health issues put me out of the workforce, and because I now live alone, that is now possible for me to do most of the time. When I do have to go out, I know that when the excursion is over I will be able to go back to my solitary existence, in my own home, so that helps me cope better with the stresses I face when I am away from home.

Give yourself some time to mature, and you will probably get better at handling negative stress, too. Also, don't beat yourself up over this. We on the spectrum have very real neurological processing problems which cause the problems we have with social issues, physical sensitivities, health issues, and all the other issues caused by being on the autism spectrum.

Maybe, but it was a wasted opportunity that I learned how to control myself when my personality was already halfway set.

Yes. I have analysed my negative emotions. The process is:

1. a negative emotion arises (that may happen to anybody)

2. in my world time does not exist, there is only a present which will last for eternity in my mind. Hence the negative emotion seems to me a permanent situation which feels like has always been there, and will last for ever (in my head)

3. I am conscious of my problem above, so when the negative emotion is coming I try very hard to remember past good moments and feelings, or imagine a good outcome or better future. The other problem is that I have aphantasia and zero imagination, so it is simply impossible for me to picture a good memory, or feel a past good feeling.

4. so I am like stuck in the bad feeling until a good feeling arises and replaces the negative one... no control at all.

Places are bouncing back emotions to me.

I’ll never be able to control my emotions as well as someone who is neurotypical can, but I‘ve made incredible strides in my ability to control them. It’s been years since I’ve had a meltdown that involved crying. I’m 25 and the last time I cried during a meltdown was when I was 19. I’m getting better and better at apologizing, staying in control of my emotions, which is no easy feat because I also have ADHD so I also have to control my energy levels. I’m good now at controlling my emotions. I have some improvements to make and I don’t think I’ll ever be fantastic at it but I’ve come along way.

Yes I am able to control my emotions.

In the fight-or-flight response, the objective is to get away from the source of threat. All of our muscles prepare for this escape by increasing their tension level, our heart rate and respiration increase, and our whole basic metabolic system is flooded with adrenaline. Blood is diverted to the muscles, away from the viscera. The goal is to run away, or if we feel that we can't escape or if we perceive that the individual that's trying to attack us is less strong than we are, to attack them. Or if we're cornered by a predator—in other words, if there's no way to escape—then we'll fight back. Now, if none of those procedures are effective, and it looks like we're going to be killed, we go into the shock state, the tonic immobility. Now the key is that when people get into this immobility state, they do it in a state of fear. And as they come out of the immobility state, they also enter a state of fear, and actually a state in which they are prepared for what sometimes is called rage counterattack. For example, you see a cat chasing a mouse. The cat catches the mouse and has it in its paws, and the mouse goes into this immobility response. And sometimes you'll actually see the cat bat the mouse around a little bit until it comes out of the immobility, because it wants the chase to go on. Now, what can happen is that the mouse, when it comes out of the immobility state, goes into what is called nondirective flight. It doesn't even look for where it can run. It just runs as fast as it can in any direction. Sometimes that's right into the cat. Other times, it will actually attack, in a counterattack of rage. A mouse who was captured by a cat came out of the immobility and attack the cat's nose. The cat was so startled it remained there in that state of shock while the mouse scurried away. When people come out of this immobility response, their potential for rage is so strong and the associated sensations are so intense that they are afraid of their own impulse to strike out and to defend themselves by killing the predator. Again, this all goes back to primordial animal traits.

The ability to control your emotions is wrapped into your ability to release the stress stored in your body chemically and to bring your body back to balanced state. This should be done in a controlled manner so that your body is not overwhelmed in the process.

I've had problems controlling my emotions a lot as a kid & in my 20s. I think some of that was due to stress of skewl, work, & parents on my back aLOT. I also fell into a psychotic depression at 20 when my 1st realtionship fell apart. I'm doing alot better nowadays. I have a girlfriend that I'm living with who's also on the spectrum. It also helps that I'm on the rite psych meds; anxiety med, OCD med, antidepressant, & antipsychotic.

There's a saying that goes