Do you have any idea what people think about you?
'kooky' has been used in addition to the recent 'weird'
But thinking more about it, My immediate family, who sees a completely different me, calls me stubborn and argumentative. I met my partner on a forum, and when it was known we were a couple, someone asked "Is Cavernio nice to you? She scares me.' Which actually makes sense to me, and is why I'm not 'myself' in-person very often.
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Not autistic, I think
Prone to depression
Have celiac disease
Poor motivation
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,916
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Well there are positives and negatives, people probably see me as rather generous/willing to help if I can, though sometimes I can seem a little selfish/lazy but usually that is if I get overwhelmed and get irritable so I can see how I come off like that sometimes but its not because I don't want to help and typically its because I am too busy worrying about everyone aside from me and then I still come off as selfish But I think for the most part people who know me see me as a good friend to have, a lot of people seem to wish I expressed myself more like I guess I come off as kind of having a wall that makes it hard for people to really know what I think/feel. My brother things my horoscope sign Leo describes me pretty well. And sometimes I can get on peoples nerves because I might word things too many different ways when they probably got it the first time and might go on about stuff they're not interested in without realizing it..of course I don't beat myself up over that as I think that is one of the more obnoxious traits of aspergers and I am more trying to get things right in my head....but it would be more effective if I could do that before trying to say what I am thinking.
So I think people see me as certainly weird, a bit mental but over all people who know me seem to like me at least to an extent. But yeah I also have trouble taking criticism(like even if its out of genuine care/concern and getting defensive which can be off-putting and it even is to me..not trying to put myself down or claim I'm inferior to the neurotypical ways, but that even bothers me because I don't like that about myself either and it probably has more to do with low self esteem than autism anyways. I cannot say the same for my childhood, though not really certain all the people who picked on me or ostracized me really 'knew' me they may have thought they did. I have had some people mention they didn't really like me at first because they didn't really know what to think of me.
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We won't go back.
I am painfully aware that most people (falsely) think very negatively of me. I don't know exactly why. I know I am a well-intended person. I can only guess.
1. Many people grossly misinterpret my words, actions and mannerism by projecting their own attitude onto me.
2. They choose to be disrespectful to me simply because I'm weird/awkward even though they know I mean well.
3. Many gossipy people spread untrue negative stories about me.
There are a small number of people that actually do understand my good intentions but they are a minority.
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