do you feel unusually traumatized by things?

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I function really well in true emergencies, and I know that for a fact because I spent three years working full-time as an emergency room nurse. But little things make me go postal.

Like right now I'm appalled and angered and offended by a thread started by a so-called aspie named statschica. Argh.

A few months ago my boss and one of my co-workers started talking about shuffling some of my duties around. I panicked. And I mean panicked. I couldn’t even talk about it – my throat seized up, my mouth went dry, I started to feel my heart thumping in my chest. I felt like a five-year-old kid who’d been accused of doing something horrible, though I didn’t know what. It was ridiculous! I almost felt like crying. I stuttered and stammered and said I felt that things were working fine the way they were, why did they have to change? They said some BS about how they felt that things could be done more efficiently if my experience could be used for more challenging tasks, and if some of the more menial things I did could be passed off to other people. <choke, gasp, wheeze>….. holy crap….. the rut I’d spent the last 4 years wearing down was about to run off the edge of a cliff! They told me to start thinking about what could be re-organized and left me having a coronary at my desk.

I told my husband about it that evening and all he could say was, “what’s the big deal?”. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t understand. This was before I knew about AS and I just couldn’t figure out why stuff like this always bothered me so much. It made me feel even worse. I was scared to death to go back to work the next day – I almost considered calling in sick. But it was weeks before anything about it was brought up again. I started to relax when, about a month ago, it was mentioned again. This time I felt even worse about it – and I had no idea how to tell these people that I didn’t want my job to change – why couldn’t it be okay to just let my brain cells rot?

Anyway, we DID go ahead with the shuffling, but it didn’t really work out with the other person, so for the moment, things are back to normal, but I’m still trying to relax.

At least now I know why the thought of change bothers me so much.

I function really well in true emergencies, and I know that for a fact because I spent three years working full-time as an emergency room nurse. But little things make me go postal. :