Why does everyone say "we can't diagnose you here"?

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There are a lot of people who think they KNOW what the OP's mean when they ask "Am I autistic? or "Does my child/crush have Aspergers?". I have no clue what they mean or what they are consciously or subconsciously seeking. So I try and let them know they need to go further then my answer or the thread.

I do use the line in question but never leave it at that because I agree that line by itself is at best unhelpful. I will never tell a person I don't think they are autistic. Due to the media a lot of people do believe Aspergers is "just" socially awkward geeks and come here thinking they are an Aspie due to this false information when they are not. It needs to be explained it is a lot more complicated that the stereotype. But you also have Autistic OP's because of the total societal emphasis on social skills have only focused on their social "deficits" and do have atypical sensory issues and repetitive behavior and do not realize it and thus do not list it. So explaining about these non social traits may be an "aha" moment for them.

I do agree with iliketrees that a sticky or separate section for the "Am I or somebody I know is Autistic" type questions would be helpful.

But you wouldn't say you don't know what you're talking about when it comes to autism, would you? What I'm saying is we can be helpful without actually providing a diagnosis or claiming to be able to, that's all. And that I also think repeating the line, "We can't diagnose you, only a professional can etc.," is just generally unhelpful, at least if that's all you say in response.

I am going to bite the bullet and just ask....are you mad at Fnord or is this just a friendly debate? I can't tell what this is about?

It seems that I am the target of the most flack when I am one of the first respondents to a request for diagnosis. After I post, anyone else's opinion seems lame or contrived. Maybe what people are really objecting to is their missed opportunity to come off as some kind of ersatz "expert" on the topic, instead of looking like just another lame-o wannabe.

But who knows? I'm just speculating here.

Yeah, I was definitely one of the lurkers, and read many people's take and posts before I ever started posting here. This is why I will not specifically say that "I'm self diagnosed ASD" or what not. Though I have many traits, I don't think it would be fair to those who have gone through the efforts of obtaining a professional diagnosis.

Also, I don't think I want to post a list of all my traits and ask if I have ASD because of that. But I don't have a problem participating in posts where people are invited to share each others oddities, like in the irrational fears thread recently. I found it kind of fun sharing my quirky fears with everyone else doing the same. It makes me feel more connected to everyone, and we get to know each other's personalities. It seems more constructive, personally.

I would probably be one to respond with, "Yeah the traits you mentioned sound like autistic traits, but can't really be sure myself... Hey try such and such here, and see if that helps with such and such."

So I partially agree that people could be more helpful and constructive with their responses to the "Am I ASD?" question. But on the other hand, I can see how it could be damaging if one is not careful in how they respond, or were to carelessly give a "yes" or "no".

It's such a tricky situation.

Now whether I personally fit on the Autism Spectrum or not, it doesn't truly matter. Some of the things that autistic folk have found helpful for working around their symptoms in life, have also been helpful to me. Sometimes talking to other people who share common interests or ailments is kind of therapeutic to both of us, I think.

This was just meant to be a debate/discussion. To be honest, Fnord is annoying me a bit, mostly because he earlier implied that somehow my line of thinking (which really is just what he for some reason thinks is my line of thinking) is going to get someone to kill themselves and subsequently get Alex and I in legal trouble, and then failed to address my question of how that is even plausible. Maybe it was just a joke, but if it was it wasn't very funny.

Yep, you got me. Darn you, thwarting me at every turn. You get all the glory by stating the obvious before I even have a chance to give somebody a diagnosis.

Maybe I've missed something here, but if the OP would post links to specific threads to illustrate what he's annoyed about, it might be easier to answer. So much depends on the exact question asked and the exact answer given.

I think it's common, when asked a serious question, for people to be wary of their conjectures being taken too seriously and thereby doing unintended harm, and I don't see anything wrong with including a disclaimer such as "I can't diagnose you" just to pre-empt such a problem. It would be unsupportive if that was all they said in reply to a post saying "I've noticed these things about myself, do you think I may have AS?" - after all, what's the point in posting a reply if you have nothing to contribute? It would only make sense to do that if the original post seemed to be assuming that we could diagnose them. But in general I think it would be more supportive to add something to the bald disclaimer, such as pointing them to the online tests and / or saying something about whether or not whatever traits they've mentioned look like they could be AS.

All we have to do is be welcoming to people who think they might have autism,without deluding them into thinking we have all the answers.

No lawsuits that way!

And we should, ideally, provide these people with an impetus to conduct extensive research on autism, and themselves.

Here's one: https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=284116

Question: "Could you help me determine if I am autistic?"
My answer would be: "Yes, we can help you by giving you links to more information about autism, doing our best to answer specific questions you have about certain things etc." Or something to that effect.

The OP isn't literally asking for a diagnosis. They are simply asking for help in determining this for themselves. But Fnord seems to think they are for some reason. His response is basically saying, "No, we can't help you here, you need to see a professional in person." But that's not true, is it? We can still help give them a better idea at least.

I'm wondering what the expectation is. Does someone have to specifically say, "I'm not literally looking for a diagnosis by the way, I just want some help in determining the likelihood and whether or not it will be worth it to do the full evaluation." or else they get dismissed entirely for supposedly asking for an official diagnosis?

And you can even see within the thread that people thought this response was rude and unhelpful. We can still help without providing a diagnosis, and while I definitely agree that it makes sense to say, "Keep in mind, we don't have the ability to say either way," what doesn't make sense is saying, "Sorry, you're asking the wrong question, we can't help you until you do."

I agree.

People say it because it is the truth.

Thanks.

At the risk of being shot down in flames, I don't see any great fault in Fnord's reply. To me, he just pointed out the downside of the OP's request. To my mind, his post was logical and reasonably accurate. iliketrees had said much the same thing, and again I think it was a salient point that the OP might not have realised when he posted. AspieUtah had then argued that some online tests were pretty accurate, so it was natural that Fnord posted his opinion when he did.

All I see on that thread is a bit of healthy discussion. It became slighty heated, but so what? The OP received a number of useful replies reflecting the spectrum of opinion on the validity of various forms of "diagnosis" - i.e. online tests and feedback from WP members. From what I can gather, the OP turned out to be borderline ASD from online tests, so I don't see what more help he / she could have been given. I can't get Page 2 to load here at the moment, so I'm basing my response on Page 1.

I don't understand that someone is being accused of displaying autistic symptoms on an autism forum.
I saw it happen in other discussions as well, autistic people being accused to be too literal or rigid in thinking and more.

Haha! You know, I've actually been having similar thoughts. When I read Fnord's posts for instance, they do come off initially as blunt and adhering to logic. But this is how autistic folk tend to be, and this is a website dedicated to autism along with other neurological conditions... so what's the problem here?

Often we can be ridiculed for being too rigid or blunt or literal, and I think we all on this board need to keep this understanding in mind and not take things too personally.

I really don't think Fnord is trying to be argumentative or what not. He's just saying what makes sense to him. And honestly, the first thought that came to my mind when I read the thread title was, "Because we can't offer an official diagnosis. "

I think that Fnord is correct about being careful to not give people false diagnosis. That would be foolish. And I think the OP is correct in stating that there are other helpful things we can say aside from "we can't tell you if you are ASD". We can suggest practical solutions that have helped us with our own difficulties, or we can just give them a warm welcome, and love them whether they have ASD or not.

It's weird, but I kind of like the literal bluntness I see on these boards, even if I don't always agree with another person's opinion on something. I find it refreshing when people are not always sugar coating things... like I always tend to do.

There are a lot of "am I autistic?" threads and there really is no answer you can give but this. It's not intended to be mean or dismissive, you just can't answer yes or no to the question.