Many of you don't have free minds. why?

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My attempts to conform to the norm over the years have brought me considerable agony and grief. I try to speak like an American but people hear my Trinidadian accent anyway and some even make fun of it. ("Hey, mon! I'm a Jamaican too, mon!") I gravitated towards hardcore punk, metal, alcohol and substance abuse and was very suicidal. I pretended to be straight even though I like guys. In my mind it was either conform or die. When I was 30 I just said "f*ck it" and tried to kill myself. I was done. I tried to fit it and I failed.

What I did notice was the alcohol use did allow me to fit in, albeit momentarily, so I kept that up for 35 years. I stopped drinking a year ago and I'm glad I survived all that craziness. As far as having a "free mind" goes I suppose I'm getting too old to care much about what people think. I'm hyperactive, dress unusual, speak unusual, and say the craziest things. Does it bother people? Sure, but I guess it doesn't bother them enough to pull a gun on me. I still feel free, though.

So do I, but it's often got me into trouble:

I used to tell my wife the truth about what I thought of her clothes and hairstyle.

I used to treat my friends to generous lectures on the finer points of my fascinating special interests.

At job interviews, I shared my weaknesses as well as my strengths.

But generally speaking, I think it's a good way to be.

Freedom costs a buck O' five.
It's a song from the movie "Team America"

"Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me,
and if you don't pitch in your buck O'five who will?
Freedom costs a buck O'five"

Taxation? Irrelevant. Like I said, this isnt about stuff you HAVE to do, as in, laws and legal things. It's about things that society THINKS you should do, like drinking or partying or small talk or dressing certain ways or blah blah blah... that sort of stuff. Those things arent forced upon you by law. But other people will TRY to force it on you themselves, in many cases. So the question at hand is... do you go along with it, even if normally you wouldnt want to? I know I dont.

Now that could be fun.

Most people would rather trade freedom for safety and so they follow the hierarchy's rule set rather than face punishment.

I have to conform because I prefer to be able to have food to eat and a roof over my head, and for my children as well.

(edit was grammar goof up.)

Some truth in that, but society doesn't necessarily attack splitters. It's very difficult to live completely independent of a group.

We are most definitely social animals, even though WE don't socialize well.

Congrats, btw

There's a difference between wanting to be unconventional and having no choice. Having no choice means it's harder to get & maintain

employment -- getting along with co-workers is often more important than the ability to do they work, IME.

a place to live -- have to seem normal to landlords or housemates

and even getting medical care -- because you don't show pain or illness in a normal way.

If someone wants to be a rebel, they're going turn it off when they're in the emergency room or need to make a good impression on an employer because they're about to become homeless. For me, every human interaction is exhausting, and some of them I can't afford to mess up because there will be zero understanding if I do.

I.e. My dad had been in the hospital for a week and I've had to meet endless nurses, doctors, physical therapists, social workers, administrators, care-home hunters, other patients and I'm sure, more to come. I'm exhausted/wiped-out and am staying home today. I'm sure some will think I'm an a-hole for not being there today, but luckily they're not in a position to do anything about it (I hope). Things were already deteriorating with various staff, but that luckily, again, won't amount to any practical problems. I dread, though, the day that I'm in the hospital.

Even that stuff can be subjective though, and depends heavily on the individual.

For the first one, I just bloody well acted as I normally do. Getting to know co-workers simply didnt matter; only job performance did. While I did lose alot of jobs, it was always, every single time, because of the fact that I'd get too spaced out and make alot of mistakes, or forget things too often, or get a bit lost on stuff. Employers never seemed to give a crap about wether or not I interacted with the others. And if one of them tried to decide that I was in trouble because of something that didnt directly relate to my tasks, well... I knew where to go to basically have that overridden. In many companies, the higher-ups dont like that sort of thing. They just want the job done, and that's what they want the managers to focus on too.

As for a place to live, or similar situations (hotels being the most common one in my case, as I'm at them pretty darn often), dealing with the people there really isnt any different than dealing with them anywhere else. If they think I'm kinda strange, well, tough. Tough for them, that is. I really dont give a fart. It'd be the same in a housing situation. I keep to myself, and whatever I do in my spare time, whatever hobbies I have, or anything like that, is MY business and my own choice... not theirs. If I pay them properly, they give me proper service. Or again, I'll find a way to force the issue. In most cases, this isnt actually hard to do at all, but most people dont seem to want to try it. But most of the time, you just dont deal with the people running the building all that often. You deal with them when it's time to pay, or when something needs fixing, and that's pretty much it.

Now the medical bit: Just be honest. Describe the issue in your own way, or show them whatever, and let them react and investigate as they see fit. It's simply about giving information, really. Even if the info is screwy or vague. A GOOD doctor doesnt need you to do this in a super specific way, as they know what to look for physically and how to examine it properly. Which makes sense if you think about it: they have to deal with all sorts of people, and those people often come in being kinda nervous, or they might just not mention something even if it's relevant, or they could be all sorts of confused about something, so a skilled doctor learns to find things out ANYWAY. Heck, not even doctors, but others that deal with physical care can do this. My physical therapist is good at this one. It can be hard to describe the nature of pain or other issues, and it's not something I'm good at. I'll often give off a rather vague impression that my arm hurts or something, but I dont really have specifics. But she'll perform her mysterious rituals that involve alot of poking and prodding, and inevitably she'll go "Oh, I see, here's the problem, this part is causing this bit over here to do this, so that's why it's happening, and here's what we can do to fix it". This is often followed by a mildly alarming popping sound and more brief pain, but afterwards I walk out with the problem much lessened, much less pain indeed, and greater understanding of what's going on with it. If I had a therapist that wasnt able to do that... I'd probably just go find a new one, since again, someone in such a field that is skilled will be able to do that.

It seems to be implied that not having a completely 'free mind' is a bad thing, but I don't think so at all.

I think it's true that group survival might be enhanced by a certain amount of brainwashing, but there's a downside too. Particularly in large "groups" such as countries, the elite become rather self-serving at the expense of everybody else. That's when brainwashing becomes harmful to all but the elite.

I suppose we're talking more about brainwashing by society (rather than by the elite) here, but if the elite have brainwashed society, then when society brainwashes us, they do it on behalf of the elite.

The problem is that we're indoctrinated by society to follow all these dumb rules and guidelines, whether we like it or not. While I certainly resisted quite a bit when I was younger, I was forced to assimilate in a lot of ways to avoid negative consequences. As a result, I am not nearly as much of a free-thinking "free spirit" as I wish I were. It seems like other people fit in just fine in society and they can do whatever and be accepted, but I constantly feel like I have to hold myself back to remain acceptable.

Well, autism certainly has it's downside.