Why are so many autistic people unattractive?

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I disagree that it affects our physical attributes - aside from a tendency towards a skinny build - and I know plenty of aspies who aren't bad looking at all (myself included )

However, I think I know what prompted your question.

The problem is not that we are ugly, but that many of us are bad at self maintenance. You would be surprised how much a nice maintained haircut, clean teeth/nails and a healthy complexion (from a healthy diet and regular showering) can radically change someone's perceived "attractiveness".

Furthermore, for those who are more severely affected (by any disability), they will tend to be more reliant on carers to look after their appearance than themselves. The choices carers make in terms of fashion are normally safe and practical rather than fashionable/good looking, hence bowl haircuts and grandpa clothes. Also, due to the lack of support received by carers in most of western society, many wouldn't have the money to buy more fashionable clothes for the people they are caring for even if they wanted to (which is rather sad).

It's valid for you if you see us as largely unattractive, though I don't see what good you thought it would do to tell us that. But you don't need much social savvy to work out that the thread title alone is offensive. People just don't like to be called ugly. Then the OP compounds the insult by telling people not to post here if they "can't handle it" (i.e. feel justifiably offended and want to argue back). I could be wrong, but I find it hard to believe that he had no idea that he was bound to piss people off. I'm notoriously blind to passive aggression, but even I can see something very suspicious in this instance.


Yes there's a school of thought that says we're attractive. I've read that we often have "finely sculpted features" (whatever that means), and that we tend to look younger than we are, which is something that the mainstream really digs, judging by all the ads for products that are supposed to make people look younger. It's all very subjective, there's no definitive answer, hence the contradictions.

I know I am somewhat physically attractive...but I know I have plenty of traits and such that set me apart from a typical 25 year old female so I think just the general 'look that person doesn't fit in' effect has some to do with why I am not conventionally attractive. I am certainly not very feminine, and whilst its not entirely true across the board I think males typically find more feminine females attractive...but there are some who do prefer less feminine females.

I mean I am like one of those chicks who a lot of guys will just see as another one of the guys not a potential girl-friend which doesn't really bother me...but for a guy who did see me as a potential girl friend they'd find we could get intimate and also just hang out play video games, watch action movies and stuff a lot of guys complain about their girlfriends not 'letting them' do as much as they want. It would seem a lot of times bisexual/lesbian females find me attractive...but I think I am straight then again I have never gone any further with a female than making out and that didn't bother me so IDK.

Yeah you are pretty I saw your picture in another thread lol

Why do you ask so many loaded questions?

Good parody, Fnord

@ this thread.

Yes we do live in reality; we also live in a culture. Unfortunately too many cant tell the difference between the two. So you have misguided people who think that socially created norms are natural, and that the artificial conditions created as an aggregate result people following those norms as something that is some sort of necessary and lasting condition.
Likewise, there is a distinction between reality (the comprehensive system of existence, encompassing the non-material and material, the temporal and supra-temporal, the universal and particular, etcetera) and condition (the way things happen to manifest themselves within the largely material and temporal word in which we live, at a particular point in time). The condition of the world in which we live is derived from a complex process of entities, mechanism, and forces, arising from multiple levels of reality, in which the summation of forces determines the particular condition at a point in time. Practices which are derived mainly from human choice(individual and aggregate) and whose general practices are derived mainly from human choice and cultural norms (as the practices of relationships and the treatment of matters of beauty are) can be altered through the means by which they are derived.
People can work to change the culture and change the general practices of relationships. There us nothing saying that because attractiveness is often treated as a key factor currently that it cannot be different in the future. And just because something is the norm in the present does not necessarily mean that people can't act differently. For changes in the main body are often proceeded a by a minor segment which practiced it.

For example;
In 1176, Cretian de Troyes wrote a book that put forward the notion that love can be positive thing and that people should be able to choose who they marry. Back then love was considered a mental illness, now its considered an integral part of a relationship.
300 years ago most Americans had arranged marriages and choice marriages were rare. Today most marriages are choice marriages and arranged marriages are rare. Up until a few decades ago marital rape was socially acceptable and now it is illegal and the average American considers it abhorrent (as it is).

The point being is that one does not have to follow the social norms in regards to appearance and that the culture can be changed. Though changing the culture takes effort, requires convincing others, takes time, and requires a cost to be paid. So one can begrudgingly choose to follow the norms of the culture in the hopes of finding a partner, or one can choose to chart ones own path and even seek to change the culture (at the risk of having to sacrifice one's own success in potentially finding a partner).

I don't know what you're talking about.

^

Very interesting. My bf is an aspie and is very attractive. He is hardly older than me but everyone always thinks he is younger. I have read that some Aspies retain a youthful appearance for lack of constant facial expression causing less wrinkles as they age. Makes sense to me.
I will admit that if he weren't so good looking that I might have focused more on his abnormal behavior and may not have been so accepting of it.
Alternately, I have known many "ugly" NT guys who are very desirable because of their personality. Also cute guys who are so dumb I couldn't stand them.
Looks aren't everything. Attraction is important but that can include attraction to intelligence, looks and personality shared interests (money I guess too if you are shallow). Everyone possesses some desirable qualities. They just need to find the right person to appreciate them.
Look around in public, there are plenty of not so attractive happy couples and many varieties. No abundance of looks, personality, common interests, money or intelligence ever guarantees the success of a relationship. That comes from deeper qualities such as loyalty, kindness respect etc.. And these things usually aren't seen until a relationship has already been started.
There are many types of "ugly", we are all ugly in some ways and all beautiful in some ways. It depends on what others are looking for, what they are willing to see, their experiences and how they feel about themselves.

dang those are some deep words. You definitely got a point.

I think this is a bunch of BS. Autistics are no more or less attractive in general.


Heather Kuzmich


Dan Aykroyd (a few years back)

There's plenty of pictures of ugly people out there too, nt and autistic. But I think you are deliberately trying to undermine autistic people by indulging yourself in this negative perception.

I am a person with ASDs and you are right about people looking young. I am in my mid 20's (26 to be exact) and I look as old as some people in High School even and some of my relatives friends have told me I have not changed a single bit since my High School years. I have to say as a guy, I've learned girls who are strong in looks have a tendency to go down sometimes in the looks, because guys strong in looks tend to be a little narcissistic. I can say that I am average looking, I am not muscularly built or anything, I may not make money and am in a stage where I am trying to figure out what to do with my life, since I just finished school. But, if I find a girl, I will be as loyal as possible, I will be really fun to be around, I will make a girl laugh and treat her like a princess.

I have also found out that girls strong in the looks category looks for guys who know how to cook, who has a good personality, who is fun to be around, who won't be controlling of their GF, and will be a pleasure to be around, rather then equal levels of looks from what I have researched. I haven't been in any serious relationships in my 20's due to the fact I struggled through school and suffered depression due to getting a lack of sleep but I am looking to find that girl who is beautiful inside and out and just plain fun to be around!

Audacious statement, but the logic is sound

You become withdrawn, so may lack exercise, fresh air, balanced diet etc. Personal hygiene may falter. Unhealthy both in mind and body in general. And when that happens, even the most attractive people make look worn out.

I guess I went through that stage myself. Not to say I am "attractive" now. Most definitely healthier and... happier? I mean, I now get people trying to engage me in conversation.

Heck, today, I got the same girls working with me in a practical. They could easily have gone to someone else.

You don't need to research. Just be yourself, seriously! It is good to know that women don't like being controlled but no one does. Hot girls know how to cook too btw! Yes, you have to put effort into finding a girl but it has to be you and consistent not something that changes once you get her. Don't compromise what you want in a mate but have reasonable expectations and take a look at what you REALLY have to offer. Expect to change as much as they will expect you to and be willing to accept as much of them as you expect them to accept of you.