Not fitting in with NTs, not fitting in with Aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

I often think I can be half way between or even appear NT but if I am out in a group situation for too long, it shows as me being different in some small way, I just cannot keep up the NT act for too long. Its when the NTs use too many body, facial or other things instead of speaking directly and plainly, I don't get the clues and the dead give away is the lack of response from me or the blank look as I sit trying to work out things. People often think I am being funny with them and feel a bit offended or decide I am a bit weird and move off.

In class earlier this year I felt very NT but my tutor said he thought I was very quiet, oh well, better that than saying something wrong I suppose.

Heh... I look back and realised that for awhile I tried my damndest to fit in... and I think as a result I became even MORE awkward and paranoid. Of course, in learning about AS and Autism and the like... I feel like the symptoms I match the most have exploded in degree... or maybe thats just my being even more self conscious of them.


Hell I have the scab/skin/blemish picking compulsion I've heard about in a couple places.


Worse yet, now I notice that i've completely freaked out about it.

You are probably just more conscious of them.

I gotta run. Later.

YEAH, how unusual IS this for NTs? I couldn't believe it when I saw this! I thought "You mean this is ANOTHER way I match AS?!?!? WOW!"

I KNOW it is a scab! I KNOW the best thing is to leave it alone. I just want smooth skin, and take the chance. With smaller scabs I succeed like 30% of the time. They other 70%, the cycle starts over to a degree!

Steve

I think that, when I look over my childhood, I am convinced I have AS. The traits don't show themselves so much now that I'm an adult, because I'm a job that utilizes my strengths. I see my AS today mainly in my unusual interests. I am probably not as successful on a global level as typical people my age, but I'm working on it. I will not likely achieve the kind of success someone like Roger Bannister had, but he continues to be an inspiration for me to achieve my own goals.

Yea, the nose is flaking again... just caught myself scraping it off.

I've never met another person with AS so I guess I wouldn't know. I like coming here and reading about other people. It makes me feel less odd.

If I meet someone who seems odd I want to know all about them and see if they might have AS. Nobody ever has so far though.

I wonder... what about Bad Handwriting?

My handwriting is very poor at times and I have to write very slowly to make it all legible.

Not sure if its a true Aspie trait though, many kinds of people can have bad handwriting.

Graphology is an interesting subject, wonder if it can pick up Autism?

i have come to the conclusion this is my last post here...i am more autistic than AS.
but i am ever so thankful for this forum. it has been a beacon in the dark; i never knew there were other humans with similar feelings i could totally relate to. i am amazed by the generosity of WP posters...you guys are the most creative, original, intelligent and sensitive beings ever! thank you for sharing! thank you for caring!

Me too.

Its helped me to sort out my Aspie bits and piece my life together and solve a few riddles about why some things didn't work out. I used to think I had been cursed but now I see my little traits have a lot to answer for.

i've had a perma-patch of eczema on my left leg cause i keep picking at it... after about 2yrs... it's finally healing up cause i read about AS and have been trying to find a substitute behavior to replace... this stimming? is scab-picking considered stimming?

hard to do though cuse i wake up from sleep SCRATHCING at it

I am a stranger in a strange land. I always have been and I always will be, no matter where I may roam.

good book...

and yep. in RL and online..............................................

I don't mind most Aspies... but I don't get along well with the most extreme, ultra-geeky ones. You know the ones... that insist on loudly talking about Dungeons and Dragons when you're at a restaurant... the ones that not only don't fit in with NTs, but don't even try, and in fact seem to go out of their way to be misfits.

NT-wise, I seem to relate best to the more intelligent among them. I suppose that's normal...

Fitting in has always been a difficult problem for me. I never really fit in with any group of neurotypical groups, and I have only had marginal success with other Aspies.



I spend most of my time alone, and I do not go to very many social gatherings. When I am with neurotypicals, I always feel different & awkward, and I have never been good at making small talk with people. I just feel like I am some kind of "outsider", and it is very difficult for me to even approach people or communicate with them. When I am in a group or at a party, I just get really shy & not participate in conversations very much; I just stay back & not say anything. The only time I am ever comfortable at parties or gatherings with neurotypicals is when I am with my Dad or someone I am especially comfortable with who can help me approach people & engage with them. I even have this problem with people I have things in common with.



When I am with other Aspies, things are somewhat easier for me. I have been in groups of people with Asperger's syndrome, at least I feel more comfortable knowing that the people I am with have similar issues. If I have something in common with them, or if they are talking about something I am interested in or I am knowledgeable about, then it is easier for me to fit in. If I am not interested in what they are talking about, then I do not really fit in, and it is just as awkward for me as if I am with a bunch of neurotypicals.