Not showing proper deference to authority figures?

Post Reply New Topic

But if you play dumb that's how you get a prescription put to you and then end up with no other solution.

Medical doctors are the worst for both their biased preconceptions and their inability to recognise their own mistakes because of ego and not being used to people correcting them. Last year I ended up with the most severe inflammation in the lining of my colon that the specialist that was eventually called to see me had seen, because when I originally went to the hospital I was not believed (even though my self-reporting is always accurate) because I wasn't visibly in "the right amount of pain" for them to believe something more serious than indigestion was going on, no matter what I said to them about having an unusually high pain threshold. I kept trying to explain that it was very very uncomfortable (it felt like my guts were literally rotting inside me, almost like my colon was trying to menstruate--if a colon could have menstrual cramps, which are for me more discomfort and an unpleasant sensation than actual pain, that is what it would have felt like and how i described it to the doctors). When the gastroenterologist was finally convinced to do a colonoscopy after I didn't stop sh*****g blood for a week while in hospital and throwing up every time my bowels moved because the inflammation was so bad it was turning my stomach, they saw how badly they had underestimated my condition and immediately started me on huge doses of steroids, which quickly brought the inflammation (turned out to be caused by ulcerative colitis) down. By that point, I was so unhealthy and malnutritioned from not being able to process any food through my colon that i had lost almost 20 pounds while in hospital for less than 2 weeks and they had to put in a PICC line because if the steroids didn't start working right away they would need to start feeding me intravenously (they put that off for as long as they could because apparently it's dangerous and you can end up with an infection in your blood or even in your heart itself (where the PICC line feeds directly to). I had only had saline and glucose intravenously until then, and that's the only reason I didn't starve to death in hospital. The whole experience was so traumatic to my body that I ended up losing much of my hair afterwards (because my body shut down to such a degree that my scalp stopped producing hair, so much of what I had--a good 2/3 of all my hair--fell out within 3 months) and looked like I had survived some kind of internment camp, though I was only in hospital for a total of 11 days (after they sent me home from the first visit with "indigestion"). My greatest lesson through that whole experience was to insist on speaking to a doctor with experience with people on the spectrum, because everyone else will misinterpret and misunderstand my symptoms which can be extremely dangerous to me.

I went through the motions while I was in the army, and that's fine and all, but in general it makes me feel uncomfortable to act 'respectful' of authority figures. To me, it feels like I am being forced to adhere to their ego, which is a disservice to humanity and myself.


I feel like they are selfish to force me to do such a thing, so since my enlistment was over, I no longer go through these motions and if anyone ever says anything to me about it I will politely tell them to f off whether it costs me a job or not.

When I was younger I listened to what everyone would call people such as sir or ma'am and I would do that. But, now the act is just an abomination to me.

I don't like being called sir either. Formalities feel like such a front.

I only trust them if they Prove themselves to me multiple times (At least three) Also the best way. I can relate is because of my current therapist which. I respect because, she knows what she is doing. She also knows alot about autism for a neurotypical person.

some ppl with ASD do have trouble with this

However, some asses MUST be kissed.

I have had bad responses from Authority figures for things. One time, one of the people in a different department got really ticked off that I didn't apologize for 'my error'. It was a simple miscommunication and nothing really crazy. Just a mistake. Even took it up with my boss after they left. When I was questioned about it, I told him that I didn't apologize because I acknowledged that I made a mistake and would take care of it immediately. Never could be politic in office settings. And, unfortunately, I'm in a very politic field of work.

But, yeah, me and authority just do not match well.

gr8 doc!
much obliged

Funny true story.

I had an employer who was without doubt a Sociopath/Narcissist. Everyone feared him and despised his arrogance, selfishness, self-aggrandizement...and those were his good qualities.

Anyway, he gave a lecture to his staff and afterward he asked me(in front of another staff member) what I thought of the lecture and I said "You are much more intelligent that I had previously thought."

I meant exactly that, he had impressed me with his comprehension of some very complex material and I was surprised at his intelligence.

Imagine how often someone spoke like that to him.........try NEVER

I was a HERO amongst my colleagues from then on
I was just being honest.

I wish I could be so defiant to authority. I have the natural tendency to ignore it, too, but I've been very shockingly and convincingly taught I'll never be able to survive unless I give up any trace of dignity and critical thinking. In fact, merely to acknowledge this is more than I can afford in real life. If I'd been meant to survive as a respectable person, I'd have been able to flee from my parents' home before they exercised their unquestionable right to break me. Now I can't unbreak myself, because I owe them everything.

your sentiment is virtuous however it is irrelevant to what you quoted that i said.
i did not consider myself superior to people based upon judgment. my feeling of "superiority" (maybe a better word is needed) was an instinctive reaction i experienced when someone who thought they were better than me told me assertively what to do.
maybe teachers and other authority figures did not think they were better than me, but i thought they did or else they would not be so disrespectfully insistent in the face of my refusal to comply.

prostitutes and drug addicts and poor people are just people in circumstances that their lives have presented them with. they are not to blame for their lots. even if a poor person is poor because they are pathologically lazy, then their propensity for laziness is their misfortune.
likewise i do not adulate successful people because they were born with the ability that they employed, or the luck that they enjoyed, or both.



but you consider yourself better than the likes of those who considered you "better". even their sentiments are just the result of their nature and nurture, not the result of some "evil" genetic design.


your couched implication that i am less "aspie" than you reveals your motive for your reply.
i was referring in my post to my unreasonable reaction to forceful authority, and the best way i can describe this reaction is to equate it with a feeling of absolute justification as to my intentions, and thereby the worthlessness of their insistence that i alter them.

Hmm, I get the impression we might shortly be congratulating each other on mutual total misinterpretation.
I didn't see my comment as irrelevant - the topic is showing deference to authority, authority often implies superiority, and you stated you felt superior to others. Seems pretty linear so far. Maybe the word you need is "equality"? That you felt that you were equal to the people telling you what to do, and thus interpreted their ordering you around as their arrogant belief that they were better than you, and that is what caused your instinctual resistance? That ordering another person around among equals is disrespectful?

Here I'm a bit lost. I never stated that I thought myself better than those people who implied that I would deride my flatmates for being who they were, as I agree with you, the reasons for their situation were largely based on their circumstances and didn't make them lesser people. I also never stated that I believed the attitudes of these people to be "evil" in any way (because I don't believe in evil) or the result of genetic predisposition. I assumed their position was based on what this discussion incorporates - the perception of a social hierarchy.

Of this one I'm absolutely sure I did not intend to convey, because I find this a really sh***y attitude I wouldn't support myself. I never play this "not autistic/gay/trans/whatever enough" game because I disagree with this whole philosophy. Strongly. So if you interpreted my comment that way please be assured it wasn't meant in that way at all. As to the second part of that quote yes, I can understand the reason for that response.

I once told a cop to go f**k himself in a police station...so I'd say so.

I tend to be reluctant to converse with those with college degrees for this reason . To cite a literary reference to the Divergent series of books , since some other posters made a reference to Star Trek , they are Erudite , while I am Candor. And while some Erudite are impressed by me , and value my input , a number of them become exalted in their own mind and want to make an appeal to their expert authority. When I challenge their preconceptions , they then make an ad hominem argument , by invoking the Dunning - Kruger effect. In other words they say that I am so stupid that I do not realize how stupid I am . All because they hold academic credentials , they feel that their take on things is more valid than mine , no matter how well backed up my points might be.

Ever have a "light bulb" moment where you realize exactly what it was you've been "doing wrong" and not getting for, like, ever?

Your story was that for me. I've managed to insult people with sincere praise so many times I've lost count, and NEVER been able to put my finger on what went wrong.

It never occurred to me until later that my statement would be considered VERY rude. It was, from my perspective a compliment, BUT not according to everyone else. I have improved over time and decreased the frequency of my faux pas(plural ) I still do make mistakes and am a work in progress.

I have since analyzed both compliments and insults to endeavor to match the socially accepted definitions. I don't think it will ever come naturally, but I'm trying.

One of the things I learned as I was researching Asperger's to learn about my grandson, was this: Saying what is inside is not easy and many times I have seen where others have said they find that expression through other people's words.

This is that moment for me. It really is true for me as well. In another thread I mentioned how I have blown golden opportunities by NOT understanding how things come out of me. However, I am still quite ignorant of that reality for myself. I'm a work waiting to be in progress.

I am not an ineloquent person. I have quite the vocabulary. But, when it comes to getting what's inside of me outside, well, it's just all sideways.

My best description of myself is this: "The Professor runs around in my head, but Gilligan is all that comes out."