What do People not Understand About You?

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1. I can't relax.

2. I can't drive.

3. I get fixated on things and ignore people.

4. I'm too intense.

5. I over analyze everything, especially when I'm confused and I can't let something go until I understand it.

6. For online, people seem to think I'm being a jerk when I'm overwhelmed with anxiety.

7. I don't sleep normal hours.

8. I'm overly sensitive to noises, light, motion, smell, ect..

9. That I don't have a "real job", even though I make money just fine from home.

10. I don't want to go to bars and clubs.

11. I don't flirt or care for romance.

12. I don't give compliments unless I really mean them.

13. I have no real concept of time.

14. I don't like cuddling.

15. I don't understand small talk.

16. Surprise parties are very upsetting for me... So are surprise visits.

That the things that cause me to meltdown are things that really upset me, and that I'd appreciate if they would apologize and make a change instead of just pretending it didn't happen.

Like another person said, that I just want to be left alone. I don't like people coming up and talking to me. Well, sometimes I do, but only in certain circumstances. And especially not when I'm trying to look at a book.

When people try to talk to me when I'm reading, it's like I've been harshly jerked out of a comforting world and then I get all disorientated.

A lot.

Nobody understands me at all. Even I struggle to understand myself.

All these things we have listed about how NTs don't understand us/cannot put themselves in our shoes, and yet when we fail to put ourselves into an NT's shoes even just in one situation, we're the ''bad'' ones who lack empathy.


I could cry.

I sort of envy these on here who mentioned "not being an open book" , not necessarily wanting to share personal information. I really wish that I had that ability.

I tend to be entirely too honest and willing to share personal information. It doesn't even occur to me that I will be judged harshly for some things that I mention. Others keep all of their bad qualities hidden; they only show the rest of the world what they want us to see. It's just a facade. So when I am honest and willing to show my true self, they look badly upon me, even though in all likelihood they probably have much worse things to hide than I do.

The whole world is just a bunch of people pretending to be what they aren't. Since I do not, I look much worse in comparison. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, but easier said than done, unfortunately.

Then of course there's the danger involved in being so open with others. I don't seem to realize that other people are potentially dangerous. I know on an intellectual level that this is true, but I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. I tend to forget and then it's too late because my stupid mouth just went ahead and said too much before I had time to think.

^I'm often 'too' trusting. I love everyone and often only see their good qualities.

I have that problem. Completely...Sometimes I can't stop because it's part of the whole story. That's never good. Leave a little mystery has never been done by me.

I wish there was a way to fix it, but I haven't yet figured out how. Usually the less I say, the better. There's got to be some trick that I can use to remember.

Anyone have any tricks they use to keep from blurting things out?

It is so true, that most people are just pretending to be what they aren't. It is just so much more satisfying and fulfilling to share deeply with others, and I have the same difficulty as you - I don't seem to know how to stop.... Though, as you'll see in the other thread, am concluding that I do need to keep my mouth shut!

But be easy on yourself, because I think it is much easier for others (NTs especially), because they know how to 'calibrate'. It's like a recipe where the conversation only requires, say 1/3 of a cup of self-disclosure, and NTs can do this expertly. They know when 'less is more' and sense better when sharing a bit more will be well-received. But for those of us on the spectrum, it is extremely difficult.... it's just easier to 'share all'.

I wish I had some answers. Life just feels very lonely and shallow without being able to connect deeply with anyone.

^I'm always available if anyone wants to talk.

Part of the problem, I think, is that my mind doesn't work quickly enough to manage to "filter" my speech in conversation. Because this ability is not intuitive, I have to analyze the situation intellectually, and think things through. If I do that in normal conversation, I would have long periods where I say nothing at all. It just won't work.

So later on I will say to myself "Well that was a dumb thing to say, why'd you say that?", and feel stupid. Because the part of me that knows better just didn't step in in time to keep my mouth shut.

Would he have preferred it if you flapped about in a panic? Seriously!

At least you know the client was pleased with your work.

As one of those people, ironically I am working on being more like you. Maybe we could trade some of our extremes? The councillor exhaustively tells me things like "how will you ever have any relationships or connections with others when you refuse to let them know who you are?" And tells me I have to be "vulnerable and open" with people in order for them to like me, or feel as if we have an emotionally based relationship (which, of course, we don't considering I'm largely alexithymic). To the contrary of how you perceive the opinions of others as negative for your openness, I am often told that that openness about your bad sides as well as your good sides is what allows connections to form and is essential for intimacy between people. It shows people you're "human."
What stops me from blurting things out? Well, a lot of the time I'm embarrassed / ashamed of myself for being different or less, and that stops me from mentioning it. I am also mistrustful, and assume others will respond badly (I'm often proven correct here). I am innately private and experience an uncomfortable sensation when exposed, like someone is too close and I am not adequately protected against them. I am increasingly aware of overstepping and giving the impression to others that we are closer than I want us to be or intended to indicate, or can even process being. I am accustomed to being used and manipulated, and generally, the more someone knows about you the more material they have to use and manipulate you. I have also been involved with people who are open about my personal information with others, and I realise they have told people I didn't want to know so much about me everything I have told them.
Paranoia, basically.

I actually get something similar at work. Everyone starts freaking out and getting stressed whenever we're busy, meanwhile I'm just like 'whatever' and do what needs to be done.

My managers act like I'm supposed to freak out because we're busy, even though that wouldn't accomplish anything.