how did you react when u found out you had autism?

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Before, I thought my problems were due to character flaws. And all of the cliche neurotypical solutions had failed me. Again, I thought that this was due to character flaws.

So, learning that my problems were due to "neurological flaws", and that there still were other solutions to try out, made me relieved and excited.

Honestly, I don't think having autism means you have neurological "flaws." It means you have neurological "differences" which might cause you to have difficulties functioning in the wider world.

^Thank you, Kraftie! I've been trying to tell people that and that I don't consider my form of Asperger's as a disability, but they won't listen. Even my mum calls it a disability.

One definition of the word, flaw: an imperfection or weakness and especially one that detracts from the whole or hinders effectiveness. I believe that my autism is the one weakness that most hinders my overall effectiveness, whether dealing with social situations, trying to communicate, handling sensory stimuli, etc.

Subjectively, it might be a weakness; objectively, it might not be a weakness.

Autism certainly does cause problems for people; I'm not denying that. It can be disabling at times. Other times, though, one could even make a "flaw" into a strength.

You might have social difficulties which could lead to the perception that you have flaws in that area--that you have "weakness" in that area.

Your social difficulties are, definitely, a hindrance that blocks your path to reaching your potential. And they have to be attended to. It is better to adjust to the wider world than to claim that you don't need to adjust.

However, it might, or might not, be correct to say that your social difficulties represent a weakness or a flaw.

I am still trying to fight the ingrained idea that my problems in this area are simply because: I am a bad person, I am a lazy person, I am a stupid person, etc.

^You're wonderful! Never let anyone [including yourself] tell you anything different.

It's a hard battle for you.

But I happen to believe that you are NOT a bad person, NOT a lazy person.

You are not making excuses.

You have a condition which makes things difficult for you.

Thank you, kraftiekortie and Kuraudo777!

Hugs for Knofskia!

I think you have to love yourself, but part of that is identifying how you can better yourself. Yet, I do not believe Aspies are "flawed", but we are put at a disadvantage because of the mismatch between the NT world and ours.

Even your flaws lead you to experiences and ideas that you wouldn't have had otherwise. In addition, NTs have "flaws" for being NTs, like not being direct enough in communication, though it is a spectrum just like Autism, (meaning that Autistics can be like that too, but it is more associated with NTs)...

So, you have to work harder in some areas, but you as an Autistic are not more "flawed" than an NT. Even things that may not seem "good" about ASD can be what makes you who you are, so don't be ashamed of it.

^Thank you! I'm so glad that you feel that way! Maybe we could be friends! Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat!

Thank you very much, CryingTears15!

Well, anyway, my initial answer was supposed to focus on how happy I was that I had a whole new way to think of my problems and possible solutions because the typically recommended solutions had been completely unsuccessful.