How do you know you have issues picking up social cues?

Post Reply New Topic

Being in a group and just not getting it. I avoid groups whenever possible.

I’m not sure how good or poor I’m at this, but I do remember many misunderstandings, also situations when someone expected me to comfort them but I didn’t pick it and I’m terrible at comforting people, I don’t actually do it. I remember people telling me that someone wanted to say this or that, I also had problems at work in retail and customer service because of that. I also had some painfully awkward situations like for example I was told I shouldn’t be so shy, so I decided to approach someone in the street (a total stranger) and share with him that I have a tumor on my ovary. I had at that time. I didn’t even understand that his look meant a total shock. I only realised that years later. I remember a boss telling me that I can’t speak so flat I need to modulate my voice when talking to customers (it was a bookstore) and make better eye contact. I told her I’m not an actress and I can’t control how I speak and behave when I have to concentrate on the customer’s issue or question to find answer etc. I don’t have diagnosis but I was told by my therapist he suspects me autistic and I’m exploring this possibility now. Now I think I’m relatively better at that, but still I notice that someone’s expression changed but I don’t know what it actually means. I wouldn’t share such private thing with a stranger anymore though.

I believe here is how good your parents\tutors are to teach it... I was luck here so I don't have except like recently I'm in depression\anxiety\under pressure.

When I was a child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, my parents and I went on a vacation with another family. I remember my mother telling me that I shouldn’t squint when someone is taking pictures of us as a group. So, with those instructions in mind and the sun glaring in my face for the next photo, I forced myself to keep my eyes as wide as possible. The sun caused my eyes to water and I was so focused on my eyes that I forgot to smile for the camera. Afterwards she slapped my face because I didn’t smile.

She’s lucky I didn’t become an assassin after that. Hah! But I did learn how to play the video game Assassin’s Creed much later in life. And I have always defended kids and adults who I’ve come across in similar situations.

Neurotypical people can be clueless too.

It is normal for Autistic people to misinterpret social cues

Especially during the dating process in a romantic relationship or even just trying to find someone to date, which might explain why many Autistic people are single!! !

I am sure I struggle with this issue too...

I don't actually pay attention to social cues and mostly I really don't care much for it.

A good half of it is being too busy 'managing executive dysfunction' be it working and short term memory or sensory and emotional dysregulation, which is becoming less of a problem when I'm finding ways to manage this undiagnosed illness that people has been misattributing as a part of autism.

And when I do 'care' and have the right conditions to pay attention (not dealing with the crap) and have the space to observe (no crap to deal with), it's accurate.
Sometimes to a point I never need to rely on looking at someone in the eye when it came to emotions of others.
Of course, I need to look when looking and gauging at the road.


I don't have dyssemia or any nonverbal processing related issues; else I can be trying hard and still struggle more with it.

And I believe that a good portion of social cues issues amongst autistics is dyssemia -- and dyssemia itself is not necessarily autism, a product of cognitive processing issue related to executive dysfunction or a learning disability such as NVLD, or the lack of social cognitive bridges that gaps alexithymia, and the inexperience from being avoidant through trauma or social anxiety.

It's actually not common for me to see any account that's primarily born from social apathy despite lacking all of the above with all the social opportunities and exposure; one actually defined with finding something else more interesting than socializing.


I only have issues predicting and 'controlling' reactions. The former is definately a double empathy issue, one I work around with sheer amount of data.
The latter likely is not be autism but something I'm hunting down to fix right now.

Oh sure I'm 'lucky' that I got is easy with what I get (self expressing) and what I have to deal with (culture) but I prefer deliberate.


In many eyes tests, it's not the 'feelings' associated with the expressions I have issues with; but lack of words for it and the recollection of those words for such.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.