who here is lousy at dealing with anger?

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in those situations, can you apologize?

i can, and do, but the damage is done, i think. i can never be certain they secretly still hold a grudge.

often in those situations, you have to atone somehow, as best you can. danion Brinkley learned this when he met his maker.

I voted for the sherbet option, lol.

It depends, though. If I'm really upset or there are other stressors I'm dealing with as well, I might punch things, rip out tufts of my hair, or bite my knuckles. When I was a kid, I'd do things like hit myself or ravage my room. Sometimes I'll thrash around in my chair. These are things I do in private, though.

If I have a clearer head (which, fortunately, is most of the time), I'll go out on a walk (though I might slam the door on my way out) or play my trombone.

valve or slide?

Had anger flare up today at the hospital (clinic visit for therapist). I went to get my transit cards. There is no clear space to stand and form a line. At least 3 options to choose from and each could be the line. I stand there. Someone walks right up and then just cuts in front of me. Now, this person was not rude at all. When the woman told him she wasn't ready, he saw me and apologized. So, good thing there. What pissed me off is that she waves her hand and I walk up to be rebuffed. Then she tells me that I was not first. I say I am. The man said I was and she argued and would not take me. I was so pissed off. I had to leave because I knew at that point that I would be all over her in a heartbeat (Verbally). So, I fled.

There were a couple of things leading up to it. But the mask just did not show them how on edge I still am.

Therapist: You look much better today.
Me: Well, I got my diagnosis, I'm pink clouding it.
Therapist: But, you look good.
Me: Well, I feel a little better, but on edge, sleep is horrible, stress is still there, still not going out unless absolutely required, and I'm still not eating. All last week I had only 2 lds of food. 8 days and only 2 lds of food. That's about the calorie count of a full grown, active man. The only thing keeping me going nutritionally is the milk. And, my body is starting to rebel a bit about that.

Therapist: But, you look good.

So, not completely unproductive, but it started to color the pink to a much darker shade.
But, it still takes nothing to overwhelm me. Last week, it was a computer system that overwhelmed me. No anger, just couldn't make sense and nobody gave me grief. Overwhelmed and panicky
Today, overwhelmed, angry, panicky......

I feel like that old Verizon commercial..."Do I look good now?"

Today I am filled with much anger, depression and self-loathing. I am a complete loser who fails no matter how hard try while other people rake in success like it fell from trees. I don't think I'm good at anything anymore, including the few things I thought I was good at.

Although today I wasn't too bad. I only said what a horrible disgusting fat pig of a loser I am for several minutes and punched myself only twice.

I want to address this. You are not a loser because other people seem to have it better. I know people who were wealthy. WERE. They just seemed to have that charmed life. And it ate them up. I never saw the crap they put up with. They just gave up after a while.

How about the people who look like they're raking it in just to get indicted at a later date and lose the last 20 or more years of their lives.

Please, never judge yourself by others. I know people that it has just eaten them alive.

To me the strongest people who get up everyday. Do something that kills them. But, they just keep doing it and never giving up.

The ones who I consider the weakest are the ones who just can't see what was handed to them and how lucky they have been.

Slide. But I can play valves too.

I have grown into quite a mellow guy, I used to have severe anger problems through childhood and teenage years but I guess going through development events in life that really threw me into the deep end meant I had to dig into the fabric of myself to seek changes and improvements. This happened gradually from the transition of teenager to adult and it's been on a steady curve ever since, I am prone to tantrums when I am overloaded with sensory stimulus combining with psychological turmoil!

I also had years of therapy on top of that which meant there had to come a change in how I channeled anger and frustration to uncover sources of shiz, then add to that being diagnosed as autistic well that explained the vegetation I had never got around to comprehending before. Environment has always affected my ability to function, I've never really had a good environment yet but I know when I do there'll only be improvements on top of how far I've managed to travel on the chill meter!

I have anger issues, mainly about gender stereotypes and expectations. Some cashier called me young lady and I told him to call me Schultz. The issues stem from my childhood and the things my mum said to me.

ok, i'm sure you could give tommy Dorsey a run for his money what sorts of trombone music are best at defusing anger?

Anything that happens to be on my stand, really. Lol. Or just some jazz/blues improv.

I love jazz trombone!

With respect to anger, growing up I didn't think I felt anger at all. I'm sure I did feel it becuase I don't see how a person could live and not feel it, but I couldn't recognise it. I can recognise it now. It's like a mixture of frustration and hurt feelings I think. I tend to cry when I should stand up for myself.

I play trad jazz piano and that really helps when I'm angry - especially if I get into playing something down right bluesy.

I love the sounds of horns. Especially the lower register ones. John Williams used it lot in his TV themes in the 60s or 70s.

I was dragged by my program to a Dave Brubeck concert at Carnegie Hall. They had to drag me out for social issues, not the music.

It was f*****g awesome. Dave Brubeck of course was the lead, but his son was there too and he plays Trombone. There was another long time player there two. Basically a trio sometimes down to just him solo.

I love music. I just wish I could tolerate them more with all that stimuli.

^^^how 'bout "rialto ripples"?