Is it a part of YOU?

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TomS
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01 Jun 2016, 12:42 pm

I don't think it is something separate, isolatable, foreign.

I think it is looking more (as per research) to be very analogous to different brain wiring from NTs.

But its not the wiring, but the personality/identity that develops in the brain as result of the wiring that makes us what we are.

skibum
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01 Jun 2016, 12:46 pm

Edenthiel I 100% agree with you. If I had known there then what I know now, I would have known how to work with my limitations and not over push myself or believe what other people convinced me that I could and should do which had huge consequences on my development as a person, on forming my identity and on decisions that affected how my personality came about.

TomS, From what I understand of what you said, I also agree with what you said.

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zkydz
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01 Jun 2016, 12:58 pm

Edenthiel wrote:

@skibum, from my perspective you hit the bulls-eye with that answer. My life now is nothing like it was when I was in my 20's & early 30's. Back then I was only aware of maybe one or two very narrow diagnoses I had then, such as the audio processing delay I was diagnosed with when I was 22. Because I didn't know, I made what now appear to be poor decisions; to put it bluntly I set myself up for failure over and over again. Now my life is largely structured around my symptoms and that of my children. That's not necessarily to say that these are *shortcomings* though - who is to say that a loud, always social, scratchy, distracting, intuitive-communication environment or life is the "correct" one? Only the majority, who happen to be NT. And what I've found is that by shaping my world to fit me better (rather than everyone else's expectations) I don't have to expend so much energy on surviving. This leaves me free to enjoy life from one moment to the next. There are two negatives, but I feel they are worth the balance. One is that despite being an introvert I sometimes *need* more social contact than I can handle or enjoy. The other is that I have to stay aware and try to push myself just a little on a regular basis. It's far too easy for me to start shrinking my world to avoid discomfort until it's about the size of my side of the bed or maybe my desk chair. I think that just like with muscles & tendons, it's important to stretch all our abilities often.

I can give you one direct example that knowing what I know now would have made a profound difference.

I went into rehab for addiction and depression and a whole host of other issues. That was 98. While in there, I was eventually given an educational chance that will never come about again as well as the bad decision.

I could have gone into any field I chose. I was even questioned why I was staying in my current field. I, stupidly, thought I could be a better success at it as I thought I was better prepared. It's a fast paced, chaotic environment that I had no business being in. And, it's just gotten worse.

Now, I could have gotten a degree in a quiet field that I enjoy...like say...oh, the sciences, maths, etc. Quantifiable fields. Not like being a commercial artist is.

So, no degree (coulda had one) in the same field (dragging me down due to the increased need for personal interactions and networking), and everything is just 'hanging there.' Just a bad decision all the way around.

so, yeah, better decisions all the way around would have been easier to arrive at and completely removed my choice had I known then what I know now.

The advantage? I am older, and now better prepared to take advantage of something this time around.

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TomS
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01 Jun 2016, 1:14 pm

skibum wrote:

The research I meant specifically were 3 recent findings in scientific studies.

1. Greater conductivity between left and right halves of brain then NTs.
2. More synaspes on nerve structures then NTs
3. Lifelong development of new blood capillaries to new parts of the brain. NTs end development at some point (around maturity if I remember correct).

zkydz
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01 Jun 2016, 1:20 pm

TomS wrote:

skibum wrote:

Do you have a link to that?

_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
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RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
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skibum
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01 Jun 2016, 1:24 pm

TomS wrote:

...the personality/identity that develops in the brain as result of the wiring that makes us what we are.

I like this part.

_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

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TomS
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01 Jun 2016, 1:30 pm

zkydz wrote:

Do you have a link to that?

I have to track down the three studies, but will. Just give me a bit 'o time. :wink:

I'll try to do it today though.

Edenthiel
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01 Jun 2016, 1:36 pm

skibum wrote:

The change that made the most positive impact in my day to day life was refusing to see them as limitations. They are differences, yes, but each is only a limitation when I'm forced to live in the NT world, and only when they expect me to do things the same way they do, lest I risk being labelled/othered as "different". It's a way of trying to force conformity. Well, somewhere along the way I learned that being "different" is not always bad, nor do all non-auties see people who are different as suspect. It really opened a whole new world to me and showed me that there are a lot of people out there that don't fit into somewhat artificial, somewhat arbitrary mainstream expectations. Enough in fact, to form many overlapping subcultures. Enough to live in and be happy, if one chooses to do so.

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Last edited by Edenthiel on 01 Jun 2016, 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Novac96
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01 Jun 2016, 1:39 pm

If given the option to "cure" myself, I would not, in spite of the fact that I at times feel alienated due to being autistic and not being able to naturally connect with others easily. At the same time, like I have seen some others mention, I adore the fact that my brain works in such a manner that I have those "narrow, repetitive" interests, as they typically ward off those occasional pangs of loneliness that can sometimes be devastating to my composure. I've learned to accept the fact that I am going to be autistic for the remainder of my life after being treated cruelly for my "oddity," so I feel... Why not unlearn all of the self-hate that I've developed?

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Edenthiel
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01 Jun 2016, 1:43 pm

TomS wrote:

zkydz wrote:

Do you have a link to that?

I have to track down the three studies, but will. Just give me a bit 'o time. :wink:

I'll try to do it today though.

I've found those to be backed by more than one study; they do not appear to be in question. Rather, they've reached the point where researchers are exploring the various aspects of the atypical features.

While waiting for @zkydz, for the first assertion the search keywords are:
autism myelination

For the second,
autism pruning

And the third,
autism capillaries brain

Plenty of hits on each (and some that branch off but cite applicable ones)

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zkydz
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01 Jun 2016, 1:46 pm

Edenthiel wrote:

The change that made the most positive impact in my day to day life was refusing to see them as limitations.

When I went into my first intake for the Dx, they asked what my strengths were. I told them. They asked what my weaknesses are, I told them that my strengths were my weaknesses too. At least as I had identified so far.

Now, the example would be: Completely blind to danger. Made it so far just on balls alone. Hyperfocus to get things done. Hyperfocus to the point of being 'outside' of the surrounding I am actually in.

The list goes on, but that should get the idea across.

Edenthiel wrote:

It's a way of trying to force conformity.

I'm split on the 'forced' issue.

1.) Is it forced or just expected? We are the minority after all.

2.) Certain business models do require a lot of conformity, so there I would expect it to be forced.

But, when you spent your entire life in the most non-conformist professions (creative in general) a bit of conformity would have worked better for me.

_________________
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RAADS-R -- 213.3
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zkydz
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01 Jun 2016, 1:49 pm

Edenthiel wrote:

TomS wrote:

zkydz wrote:

Do you have a link to that?

I have to track down the three studies, but will. Just give me a bit 'o time. :wink:

I'll try to do it today though.

While trying to search these you mentioned, I do remember that one of the most remarkable things about Einstein's brain was that there was a 'thinner barrier' between two nodes of the brain that allowed for much greater synaptic transference than the average person.

Now, I am greatly paraphrasing that. I can go find the references If you like.

_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8

skibum
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01 Jun 2016, 1:53 pm

I don't consider my "limitations" from Autism as negative. I think that is why I can speak so freely in those terms. I actually find them quite liberating and empowering because for the first time in my life I have been able to give myself genuine and honest, permission, without having to doubt myself, to say no when I need to say no. Because of that I can take better care of myself and that enables me to live my life to the best of my ability. Before I knew I was Autistic, I would try so hard and push myself to the point of physical trauma because I did not have a valid and legitimate reason to say no when others were pushing me. I would convince myself that I was just like them so I should be able to endure the social and sensory environments that they were thriving in and I could not understand why I was not thriving in them as well. And I would drive myself to self hatred and be very judgmental of myself in a bad way because there was no reason why I could not keep up. I would push through despite my body and brain's inability to cope and I would crash hard. Now I know different and I can make accommodations for myself. I can honor and respect my limitations which gives me a better ability to use my strengths to do the things I need to do.

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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph

zkydz
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01 Jun 2016, 1:56 pm

I did just have a thought though prompted by the above exchanges. The way you perceive the world from birth on should have some impact on who and what you are.

If you are color blind, you are color blind. It doesn't limit how you function except in color discrimination. Electronics (practical, not theoretical) would not be a good vocation as you would not be able to see the differences in wires in most cases.

It would help shape how you are, what you are and who you become.

Just like the person who cannot see anything but shades of grey, they may still have enough sight acuity to distinguish between shades of grey for each wire.

Just a sidebar.

_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8

skibum
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01 Jun 2016, 2:02 pm

Yeah, I don't think we can separate ourselves from the physiological intricacies that affect how we perceive the world. How we perceive the world is such a huge part of what makes us what we are.

_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph

TomS
Deinonychus

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01 Jun 2016, 2:34 pm

Edenthiel wrote:

TomS wrote:

zkydz wrote:

Do you have a link to that?

I have to track down the three studies, but will. Just give me a bit 'o time. :wink:

I'll try to do it today though.

Thanks for the assist

Heres more:

Increased number of Synapses:
http://newsroom.cumc.columbia.edu/blog/2014/08/21/children-autism-extra-synapses-brain/
http://www.cell.com/neuron/abstract/S0896-6273(14)00651-5 (Original study)

Persistent Cortical Angiogenesis
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4836621/(Original study)

Different Conductivity between areas of the Brain
http://www.hussmanautism.org/new-brain-connectivity-findings-suggest-cerebellum-cerebrum-connections-may-play-role-in-autism/
http://www.hussmanautism.org/in-autism-individual-brain-regions-are-often-intact-but-show-less-connectivity-with-each-other/

Correction on my part, I said increased conductivity between left & right halves of the brain. That is what I thought a autopsy study a few years back said. There have been other studies since with new results.

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