Aspergers is not an excuse.

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I truly don't think that was his intention.

I believe his intention was to relay good news, not to lecture us about "excuses."

The thread title was misleading, in my opinion.

You've done much more than me, too. I congratulate you.

I understand your anger and irritation at many things. But not everything calls for anger and irritation.

In life, one has to "pick one's battles."

If somebody is somewhat misguided about the impact of male circumcision, that's one thing.

Or if somebody doesn't know enough about the British Isles' educational system, that's another thing.

I accept what you said about them.

But I don't think this is the case here. I think the guy was just trying to relay good news.

That's what I honestly think.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 20 Sep 2016, 9:53 am, edited 2 times in total.

I'm not going to even read that post. Too long. Too full of yuck. I hope you feel better soon, poster.

Me working with autistic people? Like what? Taking care of autistic kids? I doubt I would do any good helping others while I can't even help myself and in order to take care of kids here you have to finish a school about taking care of kids.

We don't have any companies specializing in hiring autistic people - at least not where I live. There are some in big cities but I would have to move first. And I wonder how well I would do in that environment because aside of wrongplanet I never met any other autistic adult(or at least I don't know about any). And I wonder how I would deal with it. I would probably constantly compare myself to them and wonder why I can't do what they do or doubt my diagnosis if they were lower functioning than me. I was diagnosed as adult so I am used to thinking my problems are caused by my own faults and I don't have any disability but am a spoiled brat or something. I still didn't fully accept my diagnosis.

I meant...perhaps as a sort of social worker for autistic adults. I didn't necessarily mean taking care of autistic kids.

Perhaps you could assist a young adult in doing things like shopping, and taking care of the house in general; you're very good at these things.

There are programs here which assist autistic young adults, as well as young adults with other disabilities, in the transition from being dependent on their parents to attaining independence.

Hi thumbhole,

I had a best friend whom I lost to heart disease, and you remind me of how she thought in some ways, ... and I can see your point.

We all have different circumstances in life, so it's really not fair to compare one person to another. We are all unique, so we can each strive to be our best selves, without striving to match someone else's version of success.

As Gandalf would say, "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

And about triggering ... I learned not to say things like "Life is a journey" ... or "You're on a path to ___" or "You're on a journey" to my friend. She asked me not to talk that way ... because while that kind of language is comforting to me in certain circumstances, to my friend it brought back all kinds of bad memories.

I asked her what she preferred, and the answer was "time". So I learned to say things like "At this time in your life" instead, because to her, references to time were more comforting and supportive.

I think the OP was just being exuberant and wanting to share some good news.

I can see why the OP's post offends you but personaly I did not find it arrogant. I believe maybe it was a poor choice of words "excuse" but I get what he meant - don't let your disability stop you from doing what you want. Now I know for some that is impossible but for others it may be possible with the right encouragement , good support network etc. I am not arguing with you but merely offering another viewpoint

Indeed it was. That is evident from the content of most of his post. However, as has been pointed out to him, he chose a particularly unfortunate / inflammatory title for his post, and the conclusion that he reached once he had relayed his good news to the forum was likewise a somewhat unfortunate and inflamatory conclusion.




It's not a competition. I have had successes in life (as many people on here have) but I have also been homeless and am currently unable to work. I've experienced some professional triumphs and successes, but I've also experienced utter destitution and total humiliation. I've seen both sides of the coin so I can understand people who are currently succeeding and in employment, but I can also understand people who cannot work. I feel very strongly that people who are currently succeeding shouldn't be allowed to come on here and lecture people who genuinely cannot work, and tell them to stop using their AS as an excuse. That applies to anything. Not just jobs or relationships. It also applies to things like being able to drive a car (or not), being able to do public speaking (or not) being able to make phone calls (or not). Some people with AS can do certain things; others can't. It is simply unfair for anybody to state or imply "because I / they can do it, you ought to be able to do it, too"



Of course it doesn't. I am at a loss as to why you appear to think that I feel anger or irritation about "everything". I do not.




Correct me if I am wrong, but you appear to be feeling some "anger and irritation" yourself. You are referring to factually incorrect comments that you made in other threads, which I corrected you on. Your comments are therefore not relevant to this thread.

If you feel some sort of anger or resentment about me having corrected your factual errors, then I was not aware of that, and it surprises me, because there was nothing personal to it. I was merely pointing out (for the benefit of any readers) that certain information that had been posted in certain threads was factually incorrect.

If you wish to communicate any objection, it would be more appropriate for you to do so in the thread in question, rather than hi-jacking this thread.

I assure you there was nothing personal about me correcting you on said errors. If somebody makes factually incorrect statements that may mislead the general population into being misinformed if they are not corrected, I generally point out to them that they are incorrect and provide them with the correct information so that they can learn.

This (correcting people who make factually incorrect statements about matters that the AS person is knowledgable about) is a typical trait of AS and I am by no means the only person on here who does this. I don't mean anything by it. I don't have a problem with others doing the same thing to me if I innocently make statements that are factually incorrect. I genuinely love to learn new facts so if somebody does me a favour by correcting me and telling me that one of the facts I'm quoting is wrong, I will adjust my memory tank accordingly and thank them. It seems you do not feel the same way. If you don't like people correcting you when you state things that are factually incorrect, and it offends you when they do so, then perhaps you should take the time to research that all of the statements you are posting are correct.

Kiriae, you might be able to make the move and get the new start you seem to be longing for. Maybe you will be able to do it, or maybe you won't.

On the one hand, it's true to point out that moving to a new city / new country is often just an attempt to run away from our problems, but you end up finding that your personal problems will follow you. i.e. If you have things you are upset about, you will still be upset about them even if you move.

On the other hand, sometimes a fresh start can be very beneficial. If you have the means and motivation to do it, it might be something you are able to achieve. If not, don't beat yourself up about it. You are a different person to the OP. Not everybody is destined to follow the same path.

Why would I be angry at you for conveying facts? That doesn't make sense.

Now come on...why are we arguing?

All I was doing was pointing out that I felt that the guy didn't have bad intentions in conveying his news, and that I felt you were misinterpreting his intentions.

You seem like a sincere and earnest person (please, don't take that the wrong way! I meant what I said--no hidden agendas or anything).

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 20 Sep 2016, 10:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

I'm glad the OP is doing great and sharing his story on WP.
He shows that it is possible to pursue and achieve goals despite external obstacles, lifelong difficulties, some bad times.
It is not a small thing to move to a different country and find a good job.
Also, it is great that he talked with closest family/friends and took their input in a positive way.

I wasn't "arguing". I was merely pointing out that if you want to make reference to things you've said in other threads, best to go and do it on those threads, rather than on this one. Moderators tend to not like it if people hi-jack things too much.

btbnnyr, I agree with you that the OP's story is lovely and I am sure we are all genuinely pleased for him. However, his thread title is extremely inflammatory and (in my opinion) inappropriate on a website that is supposed to support people with AS, not blame them.

You don't have to get nasty.

I wasn't hi-jacking anything.

Why can't we be friends?

Maybe I gave off a bad impression or something.

Lots of times, people like me after a bad first impression.

And the guy wasn't "blaming" anybody.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try. His attitude is to much..

Last edited by Pieplup on 20 Sep 2016, 11:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

^ Pretty much what I want to say.

That's great. Good for you.

Dear kraftiekortie, I do not feel that I was "nasty" and I am genuinely puzzled and perplexed about why you feel that I am being "nasty". I wasn't trying to be nasty. I was trying to look out for you and avoid you (and also me) potentially getting into trouble with the mods and was merely suggesting that if you have things to say about things we have written on other threads, you should go back to those threads and discuss them there. That's all. Honestly.

I have sent you a PM but while I was writing it you posted this message here saying "don't be nasty".

I don't understand because I honestly wasn't trying to be nasty. I was just trying to be helpful.

Please let's not have arguments or misunderstandings. Please accept this nice peacekeeping flower

and this happy sun face

and my personal favourite: please accept the gift of this happy hyper bouncing man

(Please be assured that I would not be gifting you my personal favourite happy bouncing man if I felt bad things about you).

I do not feel that you have given off a bad impression and I don't think anybody in this thread has said that you have.

If anyone is offended by what I said, it was not my intention. The title is not misleading though - AS isn't an excuse to not do what you want to do. Again, I did not advocate for everyone to get jobs, but to try and achieve your own personal goals. I achieved mine, and hoped to encourage others to achieve theirs.

That said, it does seem some people have a chip on their shoulders and projecting their issues on me with such toxic begrudgery. I never said it was easy, I didn't try to lecture or invalidate others. I am formally diagnosed like everyone here and I am happy that I pulled off something despite even my body physically stopping me at times. It wasn't thrown into the deep end, it was a shark pit for me. If I were to talk about all the stress, anxiety, meltdowns etc involved, I'd have to write a book on it.