How Important Is Gender To Your Identity?

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green0star
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03 Oct 2016, 8:34 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Are you of West Indian descent, Green? I don't know why I asked that question LOL


Dunno, I gotta take the ancestry test to find that out. Also if you use fenugreek in your cooking often, your sweat will smell like maple syrup o-o



kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2016, 8:37 am

I am friends with many people from Trinidad. They use lots of curry in their cooking.



green0star
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03 Oct 2016, 8:42 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I am friends with many people from Trinidad. They use lots of curry in their cooking.


Oh well, I'm vegan so the only thing I curry are beans, and vegetables when I do season them up. I made a vegan lasagna the other day where I seasoned eggplant that I roasted prior with turmeric and curry powder as well as black pepper, chili powder and paprika. That is cooking done correctly.



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03 Oct 2016, 8:50 am

Sounds spicy to me :D



CockneyRebel
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03 Oct 2016, 1:06 pm

I like the reactions that I get from single guys when they see me with my helmet. They're scared of me, which is really what I want. One called me a Nazi and looked away once. It made me feel strong.


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Soulsparrer
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03 Oct 2016, 1:33 pm

dossa wrote:
johnnyh wrote:
Gender is not important to me, when I was young I thought we just inhabit the bodies given to us and go along with it. Like how someone doesn't choose their hair color. But after seeing the existence of transgendered people and the misery they feel, I came to understand that there is true discomfort in not being born in the correct body and gender is very vital to who a person is, I am obviously comfortable with my own gender not because of the presence of happiness being male but by the absence of unhappiness at not being female. Nature is cruel.


^ I relate to this. In a way I find it fascinating when people do feel a pull to a specific gender identity because I have no idea how that would feel. I do not feel female, but my body is, so that's what I say I am. *shrugs*

I have never been a typical female, but I have never been a typical anything. In some ways I may seem more male, in other ways more female. I don't know what I am... maybe gender fluid or gender neutral. I dunno. But I do believe that had I been born in a male body I would likely be sitting here saying pretty much the same kind of thing.

I guess I don't understand the logic here - if someone isn't born a male how would they "know" what a being a male feels like.

Plus what does not "identifying" as a male or female mean? Um... if a woman likes to play rugby then does that automatically mean she doesn't "identify" as a female? Why can't she just identify as a "woman who likes sports?"

(Plus not all guys like sports anyway, so if a guy prefers playing music to playing sports then does that mean he doesn't identify as a "male" or he's just a male who likes sports).



dossa
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03 Oct 2016, 1:56 pm

Soulsparrer wrote:
dossa wrote:
johnnyh wrote:
Gender is not important to me, when I was young I thought we just inhabit the bodies given to us and go along with it. Like how someone doesn't choose their hair color. But after seeing the existence of transgendered people and the misery they feel, I came to understand that there is true discomfort in not being born in the correct body and gender is very vital to who a person is, I am obviously comfortable with my own gender not because of the presence of happiness being male but by the absence of unhappiness at not being female. Nature is cruel.


^ I relate to this. In a way I find it fascinating when people do feel a pull to a specific gender identity because I have no idea how that would feel. I do not feel female, but my body is, so that's what I say I am. *shrugs*

I have never been a typical female, but I have never been a typical anything. In some ways I may seem more male, in other ways more female. I don't know what I am... maybe gender fluid or gender neutral. I dunno. But I do believe that had I been born in a male body I would likely be sitting here saying pretty much the same kind of thing.

I guess I don't understand the logic here - if someone isn't born a male how would they "know" what a being a male feels like.

Plus what does not "identifying" as a male or female mean? Um... if a woman likes to play rugby then does that automatically mean she doesn't "identify" as a female? Why can't she just identify as a "woman who likes sports?"

(Plus not all guys like sports anyway, so if a guy prefers playing music to playing sports then does that mean he doesn't identify as a "male" or he's just a male who likes sports).


I would have no way to know what what being a male feels like. I have never been one. For myself, it comes down to not really knowing if I understand what it feels like to feel female. I have heard people say things about feeling like a woman regardless of what their actual body is. Same can be said about feeling male regardless. I have no idea how to connect to that because I just do not feel like one or the other. It's an adjective to me to describe a body type, not a feeling or idea.

Male or female, to me, has nothing to do with things like playing rugby or other gender stereotypes. That lack of stereotype also helps fuel my confusion when it comes to people feeling male or female... if that makes sense. Example... my spouse knows a guy who says he rejects all gender based stereotypes. He is a stay at home dad, has long hair and a big ole beard on his big ole body... seriously this guy is a bear of a man and looks kinda intimidating even though he's a softie... he also listens to musicals and bounces at bars and loves romance, sewing, and motorcycles. But at the same time, the things he says that make him not buy into stereotypes are themselves based in stereotypes. It confuses the hell out of me. Like what? He says he rejects gender stereotypes but uses them as examples of how he is shattering them by blatantly disregarding them? To me his behavior is like non conformists who live their life by observing what the masses do and then doing the opposite... they still live their life based on the norms. It makes sense to him though. I get it makes sense to him, but I fail to understand it.

I admit to having a lack of understanding about what gender is all about beyond a description.If I have no real connect to either, it would seem irrelevant to me which kind of body I was in. I don't think suddenly growing boy bits would make me feel a connect to maleness. But you know, I can't say for sure because I'm not planning on sprouting a penis any time soon. Heh. :lol: Not sure if that made sense or not.


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03 Oct 2016, 3:06 pm

I personally find myself to be agender . Gender is a meaningless concept to me . Like I get that there are some that identify as being either masculine or feminine , regardless of anatomical sex , but I just can not relate to it . I even imagine that if I were to have been born as the opposite sex , I would have been as content with having grown up as a girl as I am now as a male person . For what it's worth , I have taken a test that purports to graft gender range , and I scored slightly in the feminine category . http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/sage/test.htm I did not feel that this test is all that appropriate though , as it asks such questions as what my political views , and erotic preferences are . If your views are more left-wing , as mine are , you will get a result more in the feminine category , and conversely , the more right-wing the more masculine you are , according to the test . This is how arbitrary gender identification can be .



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03 Oct 2016, 3:23 pm

Touretter wrote:
I personally find myself to be agender . Gender is a meaningless concept to me . Like I get that there are some that identify as being either masculine or feminine , regardless of anatomical sex , but I just can not relate to it . I even imagine that if I were to have been born as the opposite sex , I would have been as content with having grown up as a girl as I am now as a male person . For what it's worth , I have taken a test that purports to graft gender range , and I scored slightly in the feminine category . http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/sage/test.htm I did not feel that this test is all that appropriate though , as it asks such questions as what my political views , and erotic preferences are . If your views are more left-wing , as mine are , you will get a result more in the feminine category , and conversely , the more right-wing the more masculine you are , according to the test . This is how arbitrary gender identification can be .

Yeah, I think that if one takes the gender is a social construct view then "gender identities" are pretty much meaningless; under that view everyone is just a "human" with the only difference being the reproductive functions.

(I personally don't believe it's a social construct though, I think society influences roles but I believe it boils down to testosterone and estrogen, and since men naturally produce more testosterone they tend to be drawn more toward "competative" activities like sports on average, but this will still vary somewhat from person to person rather than being totally "black/white").



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03 Oct 2016, 4:19 pm

green0star wrote:
richardbenson wrote:
Personally, I love being Male. If I was a woman and had to shave my legs, have "woman problems" down there, put on makeup etc. I just might lose my mind, being a man is just so much easier.

Gender wise I act manly, albeit but somewhat off.


Heh those things are only a problem if women let them be. Granted the "biological" parts are not easily changed unless you get "that" removed" but everything else wearing make up, shaving, etc is only a problem if one lets it be. Before I learned I was genderqueer and struggled to even identify myself as a female shaving and wearing make up was never a thing that was high on my priority list. The only area I shave are my pits because if I don't then my deodorant would quit on me faster and my sweat smells like curry powder from all the seasoned cooking I do ...


That's not 100% true...other people can react negatively and judge you for it which can be a problem even if you do your best not to make it one. Not saying it is the same thing as being forced to shave, but there definitely is social pressure for females to shave body hair. I don't anymore because I prefer not to and social pressure isn't enough to convince me to do it.


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Maxima12
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03 Oct 2016, 5:46 pm

Currently it's not important for me, but I don't exclude possibility that it might be in some degree important in future. Life where gender identity dose not have any significant importance for some person is usually life where one is dedicated to his/her(it does not matter!) special interests and dose not form family.
When someone wants to have family, gender identity is important. Since people who want to have family are much more common then those who don't, gender identity is generally important to people.
What impact dose AS have for someone gender ID importance, I am not sure, but I think that for AS people, gender ID has much less importance.



Soulsparrer
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03 Oct 2016, 5:55 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
green0star wrote:
richardbenson wrote:
Personally, I love being Male. If I was a woman and had to shave my legs, have "woman problems" down there, put on makeup etc. I just might lose my mind, being a man is just so much easier.

Gender wise I act manly, albeit but somewhat off.


Heh those things are only a problem if women let them be. Granted the "biological" parts are not easily changed unless you get "that" removed" but everything else wearing make up, shaving, etc is only a problem if one lets it be. Before I learned I was genderqueer and struggled to even identify myself as a female shaving and wearing make up was never a thing that was high on my priority list. The only area I shave are my pits because if I don't then my deodorant would quit on me faster and my sweat smells like curry powder from all the seasoned cooking I do ...


That's not 100% true...other people can react negatively and judge you for it which can be a problem even if you do your best not to make it one. Not saying it is the same thing as being forced to shave, but there definitely is social pressure for females to shave body hair. I don't anymore because I prefer not to and social pressure isn't enough to convince me to do it.

You're welcome not to but most men aren't going to find it attractive, and if you don't have any greater reason for not doing it other than just wanting to "do the opposite of whatever people tell you" then that seems like a petty reason, IMO.



kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2016, 5:56 pm

I have good taste in women.....and I fall in love with somebody who doesn't shave, then so be it!



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03 Oct 2016, 5:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I have good taste in women.....and I fall in love with somebody who doesn't shave, then so be it!

Depends on what it is they don't shave.



kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2016, 6:03 pm

I DON'T like it when a woman shaves "down there." I like "au naturel!"

I've liked women who didn't shave their underarms.

I'm not that keen on not shaving legs---but I'll take it if she enchants me in other ways.



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03 Oct 2016, 6:13 pm

Soulsparrer wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I have good taste in women.....and I fall in love with somebody who doesn't shave, then so be it!

Depends on what it is they don't shave.


Yeah I'm with you there... and I think anything that can be shaved should be, personal taste...