You Don't Act Like You Have It

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Thanks! If only it was as easy to talk as it is to write!

I thought that people would've assumed that I was just really shy, but I think that the people I know are really knowledgeable about the autism spectrum. I know a lot of people who are on the spectrum - from those who are high functioning to those who are more moderate.

I really don't see too many people on the Spectrum in my everyday existence.

There's one guy I used to work with who only spoke in short sentences, and had some of the "typical" mannerisms of autism.

He's still working where I work, but in a different department. He's probably retiring soon.

My mother had a friend whose son had severe autism. He was nonverbal, oblivious to other people, yet was toilet-trained. I used to play with his NT sister. We had to watch over him. It wasn't mentioned that he had "autism." All that was said was that "oxygen didn't get into his brain when he was born."

My sister-in-law has it, my dad and brother probably do, and there's several children in my former church that have it to some degree.

People say "Maybe there's something in the water" which is silly because we've all moved in from different places. Besides it's not a disease or illness you can catch.

I feel that some of the people in the old days, who were thought of being weird or odd in some vague way, were probably on the Spectrum in some fashion.

There really was no notion, even a vague notion, of something called high-functioning autism until the 1980s.

I agree. There were always those people who were considered a little odd, eccentric, or even reclusive that were probably on the spectrum.

Most of these people were happy when people showed an interest in them, though they might either not express that happiness, or express it in a sort of "eccentric" way.

I knew a guy like that when I lived in Far Rockaway as a teenager. He was a guy who some thought was a pedophile. I don't believe he was one, though. His clothes were somewhat disheveled, and his personal hygiene wasn't the best. However, as an isolated adolescent, I enjoyed his company, and he never "tried anything" with me. And he appreciated it that I showed an interest in him, though he didn't state that appreciation outright.

If somebody would have called him "autistic," people would have thought that somebody was crazy. Autism was not a "spectrum" in those days; it was a one-dimensional disorder with definite, "classic" symptoms.

This notion still exists today--of autism as a one-dimensional disorder.

Sadly it can be obvious but it can still be overlooked by people because AS is a invisible disability. Plus there are socially awkward NTs out there and there are personalities out there that overlap with AS so people still wouldn't notice. If you're shy and always quiet, people will just think you are just shy or just don't like being in conversations. Even some professionals can't tell either. How many times have I seen posts online saying how they were told by a doctor they didn't have it despite being diagnosed or a parent being told by doctors their kid is normal and also doing the wait and see approach? After all how any different is a kid supposed to be acting in the office for the doctor to believe the parent?

Then even if people do notice something is off about you, they still judge you and don't like you because not everyone likes differences and they might underestimate you. It's really a pain.

I wouldn't mention it unless it woyld be to my benefit (job, accommodations, benefits).

The annoying part is that most NTs think that they are experts on any given topic. I just try and avoid engaging in conversations with them.



quote="Velcrowalls"]Have you ever gotten close enough to someone or a family member and told them about having Asperger's Syndrome and then you get the following. "You act like you don't have it!" or "I don't think your autistic." I know people try and use it like it's a good thing but especially if your diagnosed it actually hurts when people say that. (To me at least) Everyone on the spectrum is different. Then when I try explaining what Asperger's is and autism in general and they still return to that statement; "You don't act like you have it." I have no words anymore and I need to go and shut down. When I use examples of instances where my Asperger's shines I usually get things like "Oh that's because your 'different'." This also another one that I get a lot. "That's because you haven't grown up yet you need to be an adult."

If people are doing it to be genuinely nice I usually understand that and I'm okay with it and try and explain politely why I don't like when people say I'm not autistic. A lot of the time though when people say that they just can't accept that I have it and want to act like I said something bad.

How do you deal with people who tell you that you don't have Asperger's and treat it like it's bad thing if you've ever been told that?[/quote]

I have significant issues but not one of those issues is appearing autistic from the other persons perspective except when highly stressed. Then it shows to a degree, enough that one doctor when I was in my 20''s wanted to put me on dilantin, there was a time that this drug was thought of a cure all, this because I was very highly nervous as is common with me when dealing with people who could have a controlling impact on my life.

Through the years I have been diagnosed with strabismus, major depression, disthymic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder & myoclonus. All things that are highly common with ASD. I also have moderate coordination problems, my strabismus was purely neurological as I had exceptional vision in both eyes but could not focus them both at once. I also wet the bed until between 15 & 16 years old & have bowel control issues to this day though only mild now days, much worse when young. This includes constipation as well as leakage. Once I went three weeks without a bowel movement in spite of eating my usual amount of food. I did have some leakage though even during this time but the ability to actually have a bowel movement was not there in spite of heavy doses of laxatives.

Tell them, "You don't act like you're NT."

I can imagine how this bowel thing is a real bummer!

The only time that happened to me was after diagnosis. Even though technically I don't have a "late" diagnosis.

Telling people that you have autism seems an ineffective strategy for them to understand you.
Statements like "I do X because of autism" or "I am Y because of autism" seem especially ineffective.

This is an interesting thread. If I get a diagnosis of ASD I'd only share it with a few family members. I have no friends so that wouldn't be an issue for me.

I notice people all the time. Both on the BAP and on the Spectrum.

How long does it take for you notice, do they have to speak.