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CockneyRebel
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27 Jul 2005, 2:51 pm

I get very angry over pity. There's no reason for people to feel sorry for me. There was one girl who was in my Grade 7 class who felt sorry for me, because my social skills weren't very good and she kept going on about how I wasn't going to have any friends in Highschool. I didn't have many friends in Highschool and it wasn't the end of the world for me.

There was another girl in my College programme who told me that she felt sorry for me, because I'm the only person out of my whole network of Family and Relatives who speaks with an English Accent. Oh please. It was nice that she put herself in my shoes, but some people take things a little too far.



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27 Jul 2005, 3:29 pm

Quote:
Do you get mad over pity?


I get pity mad...

Especially if I think someone is patronizing me.


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vetivert
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27 Jul 2005, 3:49 pm

pity i could cope with, as i get precious little. being patronised makes me homicidal. and, for any infantile creatures who think it's a laugh to abuse this little bit of information, and start patronising me (or attempting to) ... please grow up and don't bother - it's tedious.



CleverCait
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29 Jul 2005, 6:16 am

Pity is something I could live without. I don't get much, though, thankfully. My mother tells me sometimes how "brave" I am for making it this far in life with so many problems and minimal assistance. I like that she doesn't think I'm a wimp or something, but at the same time, did I really have a choice?


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SpaceCase
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10 Oct 2005, 1:29 pm

About 2 weeks back,I was visiting my friends at my old shcool,and I ended up talking w/ this guy who was new to the group.I learned that he has ADHD,Depression,and Social Anxiety.I told him that I was bipolar and that I had Asperger's and he said,"Oh,my f***ing God!THAT'S why everyone hates you.You're f***in' insane!"A few days ago he said,'I feel sorry for you."I said,"Why?"He said,"Because you're insane."

Then he called me not too long ago and apologized for what he said.BUT do you know what he said to me?He siad,"I'm sorry that I called you insane.Insane people don't believe that they're insane,so I shouldn't have told you that you were."

Remember how I said that I take crap off people for so long?Well,I told him that I WASN'T insane,and that Asperger's was jsut a neuroligical disorder and bipolar disorder doesn't make you insane.AND I told him to stop pitying me.And he said,"Yeah,you're right I shouldn't pity you.But you've got to understand that you're not like everyone else and you need help-BAD."Then he hung up.

What do y'all think of that?

-SpaceCase :x


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Last edited by SpaceCase on 10 Oct 2005, 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Prometheus
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10 Oct 2005, 1:38 pm

What do I think?

Rather interesting, how people sometimes can't hold back their true thoughts.

A guy who did a job interview once apoligized to me for something he was very inspecific about. He looked up from my resume, and told me, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how smart you were" and continued on with the interview as if nothing had happened. To this day, I don't know why he said that or what I did to suggest that I was somewhat un-intelligent or "other".

Sometimes, I think, people, particulary those with various disablities will always encounter freudian slips like yours and mine, even from other disabled people.

I don't know what specifically to advise, except this will probably happen again in the future.


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Sophist
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10 Oct 2005, 7:28 pm

He has AD/HD, Major Depression, and Social Anxiety Disorder and he called YOU insane???

8O 8O 8O

/me starts a charity donation pot for this guy. Any marbles Wrong Planet can donate would be welcome.


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SpaceCase
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06 Jan 2007, 11:24 pm

BUMP

My ex-best friend felt sorry for me.


-SpaceCase


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06 Jan 2007, 11:36 pm

No one really knows I have AS except a few people. Sometimes my AS makes me act and feel like a scared, timid child, usually in new situations or around very confident people. When that happens and they pick up on it they treat me with pity or like a wittle baby...I hate that! I'm a grown woman. Just because I sometimes can be intimidated doesn't mean I need to be coddled. Then when that idea comes to mind I change my demeanor and thinking and "show" them I don't need that nonsense.



werbert
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07 Jan 2007, 12:42 am

I actually like pity.


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07 Jan 2007, 1:56 am

When people go, I want to support you with your condition I get :x because it's not a disability, I don't need help, I know what I want and I go out and get it! It's an Ability not a disability.


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SteveK
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07 Jan 2007, 3:54 am

Prometheus wrote:
What do I think?

Rather interesting, how people sometimes can't hold back their true thoughts.

A guy who did a job interview once apoligized to me for something he was very inspecific about. He looked up from my resume, and told me, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how smart you were" and continued on with the interview as if nothing had happened. To this day, I don't know why he said that or what I did to suggest that I was somewhat un-intelligent or "other".

Sometimes, I think, people, particulary those with various disablities will always encounter freudian slips like yours and mine, even from other disabled people.

I don't know what specifically to advise, except this will probably happen again in the future.


Prometheus,

We may never know what HE meant, but I ALWAYS assume people are dumb, because most ARE! I dumb down my speech, and I might over explain some things. If I find they are smarter, I might dial things up a bit.

BTW MOST people that do well in a technical interview with me are given a clue 1/3rd to 1/2 way into it! The clue?????? I apologize for asking so many STUPID questions!

Maybe your interviewer was just more direct. Of course, MOST people LIE on their resumes. I have seen some resumes that show the person to be a GENIUS, and find out they are IDIOTS!(LITERALLY)

BTW I HATE pity(Giving or receiving)! What is the point?

STILL, nobody explained the disabled part to me. So you're bad socially, and things are tweaked a bit(no worse/better, just different). SO WHAT? Is it just the autism they can't get by, etc?????

Steve



Cyanide
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07 Jan 2007, 4:11 am

It annoys the bloody hell outta me. Like some people have said on here, it IS like some touchy-feely way of patronizing people.....



SteveK
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07 Jan 2007, 6:16 am

SpaceCase wrote:
About 2 weeks back,I was visiting my friends at my old shcool,and I ended up talking w/ this guy who was new to the group.I learned that he has ADHD,Depression,and Social Anxiety.I told him that I was bipolar and that I had Asperger's and he said,"Oh,my f***ing God!THAT'S why everyone hates you.You're f***in' insane!"A few days ago he said,'I feel sorry for you."I said,"Why?"He said,"Because you're insane."

Then he called me not too long ago and apologized for what he said.BUT do you know what he said to me?He siad,"I'm sorry that I called you insane.Insane people don't believe that they're insane,so I shouldn't have told you that you were."

Remember how I said that I take crap off people for so long?Well,I told him that I WASN'T insane,and that Asperger's was jsut a neuroligical disorder and bipolar disorder doesn't make you insane.AND I told him to stop pitying me.And he said,"Yeah,you're right I shouldn't pity you.But you've got to understand that you're not like everyone else and you need help-BAD."Then he hung up.

What do y'all think of that?

-SpaceCase :x



Bipolar --- May be unreasonably happy or depressed.
Aspergers --- Harmless quirks, possible, but not significant, deficiencies in intelligences other than social with likely excesses of intelligence elsewhere. Poor Social skills, possible poor coordination.

So how does that mean you are insane by ones general understanding of the term?

By the DICTIONARY term, I guess everyone is insane!

HECK he said he has "ADHD,Depression,and Social Anxiety"! How is that better than what you have? Sounds like HE is insane!

Steve



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07 Jan 2007, 9:13 am

Spacecase,

Somehow my response got lost. That jerk is DELUSIONAL! HE needs help BAD! Maybe you should explain it to your other friends. AS isn't even anything anyone else has to know about. You can still do just as well, and perhaps better, at non social things. As for bipolar, that is YOUR problem, nobody elses. You may be unreasonable happy or depressed. It IS a problem, but none of THEIR concern.

BTW THIS is why I am THROUGH trying to expose the warts on my life to help others feel better about theirs. It ALWAYS ens up this way with me. You may end up finding the same.

Steve



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20 Feb 2009, 11:29 pm

ah, I only ever receive pity from women when they learn I never had a girl friend. I don't care for their pity unless I'm attracted to her and she's willing to give me a pity lay.


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