Should parents fource their children to make eyecontact?

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right. there is a difference between imagining things for yourself in your own mind, and being able to imagine what another person may be feeling, outwardly describing their thoughts, and picking up on other's imaginations.

i don't know why "professionals" would consistently shun the experience/testimonies of autistics. maybe we need autistic professionals?

I don't think they ask the right questions. I'm seeing a therapist now, and I'm increasingly frustrated. The fact is, given free rein and vague questions, I can babble for hours, without actually mentioning anything important. I'm so used to covering up my weaknesses that just a little bit of stress will make me put on an act. I can't control it, because I am not very self-aware under stress. And she always focuses on things that to me are tangential to the subject. She just has no concept of what the problems are.

I think it's just confirmation bias and lack of time/patience. Autistics can be very wordy, yet have trouble expressing themselves. Or they just don't express themselves a lot. Unless a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist spends a lot of hours reading up on autism from an autistic's point of view, I doubt they can understand very well. Perhaps they are too married to the idea of talking, as in a therapy or interview setting, which is traditional in the mental health professions, but represents a hurdle for the autistic person. Seriously, I think you get much better communication with autistics in writing.

No, I don't think we should be forced to make eye contact (at any age or by anyone). I know I do my best listening when I don't look at the person at all. Eye contact makes me loose focus, it gives me bad physical sensations (jolt, churning stomach, sweating) and makes me anxious. It feels like a threat, and I can't even begin to formulate a response. I have more than enough going on just being there. I know some spectrumites pretend by looking at mouths or noses, but I have always found those parts too icky to look at (not that the idea even occurred to me until I read about it on here, but I was always grossed out by mouths or noses, and worse the longer I look at them).

For them it's one person that might make them a bit uneasy, for us it's pretty much everyone. For me at least, it's not just worth it.

Yeah, we do, Kip. Or at the very least professionals who are able to listen and learn.

Similar for me too, I was made to look at them in the eyes when in trouble, everytime with great gusto it was said, and in fact feels like this may have even been known and used to make a point or hurt me.

I think a lot of autistics to forced to make eye contact overcompensate and stare too long and come off as creepy.

in 3rd grade, i had a teacher (not my teacher) yell at me from across the room because i was staring at him for a while.

that stuck with me for quite a while since.

I don't know if parents should force their kids to make eye contact. I have been taught to make eye contact. I can remember my mother telling me to look people in the eye when they speak to me or when they greet me. It made me feel uncomfortable, but I sort of learned to do it.
Today I still find it uncomfortable and I honestly have no idea for how long you are supposed to make eye contact with someone, so I am sitting or standing there thinking "can I look away now or what do I do?".
Oh well.

Reading all your replies here has been really an insight for me. I would never dream of forcing my child to make eye contact, as it feels disrespectful. 'Teaching' them to do it also feels disrespectful, and wrong.. after all, there must be a reason for it, and making it an issue at all can surely only make it worse.

With my son it's very noticable that with some people he has no trouble making eye contact and interacting in a natural and relaxed way. It can't be a coincidence that those are the same people who don't care, they're not judging him, they're actually just interested in what he's thinking and saying.

With others he totally avoids looking at them, cringes from being touched by them, and only manages incoherent mumbles if they push him into answering. I don't blame him. Sorry to say it, but I find those people are behaving innappropriately, not him

It's not a bad thing to be able to do it a little, or to fake it, for those occasions when you need to convince people to do something for you, like giving you a job.

One neat trick for when he is older is to have a habit of taking notes while taking instructions (if he is able to do that). Then you can legitimately stare at your notepad, glance up at the other person's face at intervals, and keep repeating what they said so you make sure you've got it right. The other person is impressed at how conscientious you are, and you've avoided becoming distracted by their face.