Did you think everyone had a conspiracy against you?

Post Reply New Topic

The experiment thing is exactly how I feel right now! And as someone else had mentioned, The Truman Show really messed me up as well lol. After watching the film (which was recently, this past summer actually) I became more paranoid of people's intentions/behavior towards me. And for me, I didn't really pay attention to what ASD was until last year, when I was 20 ...

I've heard of autism before when I was like 15/16, but never paid attention to what it really was (aside from the fact that's its a disability). I just had envisioned an idea of what a person with autism would look like, which isn't what I look like, so I never made the connection to myself lol. I really do feel like people my whole life had been waiting to see how long it would take me to figure it out.

Prior to my realization, in elementary/middle school I assumed the reason I couldn't fit in with others is because I was a racial minority, so it wasn't that big a deal. In high school, I wasn't a minority, but I did move to a new district and blamed the fact that I was just really anxious as most other kids knew each other from middle school and I had no one, thus felt awkward approaching people I'd like to befriend all by myself. There's no reason for me to not to have made friends past my freshman year, but I just blamed my lack of social life to the fact that people got their cliques already and I've already been outed as an awkward loner. My personal hygiene also took a fall my last 2 years of high school because I was depressed at my inability to connect with people. But never had I bothered to look up the reason WHY I couldn't connect with people.

Then college ... "a fresh start" (I put this in quotes bc my uni is sort of regarded as 13th grade; it's sort of local, but regardless a huge university anyway). I felt I was immediately out of the loop because I wasn't dorming and thus couldn't have made new friends with roommates/floormates. And if I saw anyone from high school in a large lecture hall or just in campus in general, I'd avert eye contact and just walk the other direction lol. I couldn't have made friends in class either simply because I hardly understood nor cared for the material since I wasn't interested in any of it (my first year classes were for a career path that pleased my parents). I was really awkward when I did see people I would've liked to befriend but didn't know how. Long story short, I made some inappropriate impulsive (usually conscious, but sometimes unconscious) actions and - for my paranoia - I'm sure I have a reputation for it now ... as these people are fairly popular to my understanding (looking back, realistically I would've had no chance maintaining friendships with these people anyway) and I've seen the looks their friends give me if I ever walk past them. I'd been concerned of my obsessiveness of that whole social situation (both the situation and the people as well) from freshman year, and when I looked stuff up online, I was lurking through these forums early 2015 (still hadn't made the connection to autism though lol), then I joined mid 2016 and finally acknowledged it. And I've became much more suspicious of people since then.

I'm glad.

[Color=#00b2ff] I actually think the opposite, that some people try to be my friend and that I just shut them out mostly due to being unaware of them trying to be my friend. If meet quite a few autistic people both that were diagnosed and weren't and have c e to the conclusion that, Yes you can tell, The introverted aspies are very shy and observant where the extroverts are decidedly worse of due to everyone pokeing fun at their lack of social skills. I've noticed they can tell they
Are different they might not say they are. Walt what are we talking about?

[Color=#00b2ff] Chill out, (If you don't mind my American slang) You should remind yourself two things firstly that there are nice people in the world, you should focus on the ones that stand out that don't fit your world view, I apologize for losing my train of thought.

No, just my parents. And not about ASD. This was the theory:

My parents ate their real baby when she was 3 months old because they were in some kind of cult. Or maybe because of some internal birth defect. They were taking a trip to somewhere far away, so nobody would catch them in the act. Our photo albums show that they were on a trip.

My parents' friends gave birth to twins around the same time my parents' real baby was born, and I was one of the twins. My parents somehow blackmailed the friends into meeting up at the "far away" place to give me up to them. So I was actually growing up in place of the baby that my parents ate.

Why? My parents need a new child to eat. So now they are just fattening me up so they can eat ME when I'm nice and plump.

I was 8. I didn't know what ASD was, but I knew I was messed up in some way. I thoughts perhaps this was somehow related to why I am messed up.

I developed this theory after my parents yelled at me, and afterward I overheard them talking about sending an assassin after someone. Turns out, they were talking about some characters on a TV show.

Over time, I discarded the theory. For obvious reasons.

OMG that must of been terrifying

It was for a few days, but then I confronted my parents about it, and they explained that it was a TV show. I also figured that no assassin has come yet, so I'm probably safe. What really dispelled the part of the theory that I was their friend's child was when I realised how much I look like my dad. For my entire life, everyone had told me that I look SO MUCH like my dad, and I saw in the mirror that they were not lying.

I'm part of teh Dark brotherhood. Pecks

That was fun to make Off, Darceus. Rides off into the night on a black horse resembling arceus.

Who needs enemies in life when your mind can screw you up like this , my mind is my worst enemy.

I wish I lived in the UK. When you go to these chicken take-out places, you get lots of nice chips (what we call French fries). And you can get fish-n-chips at these places, wrapped in newspaper sometimes.

I used to think that everybody was out to get me----until I realized that nobody really cared LOL

There are some Calvin and Hobbes cartoons about Calvin's parents being aliens planning to eat him. I used to really wonder what went on after I'd been sent to bed. I didn't think it likely, but I realized I had no way to know if my parents were actually burglars.

I used to think that my father would come in and spank me in the dark for something I did wrong, but I didn't know it was wrong.

Blimey Kraftie , they stopped using actual newspapers for chips decades ago ( due to health & safety about the ink ) , but personaly I don't think the chips tasted the same after they stopped. You'll still get an occasional chippy ( chip shop ) that will use fake , ink safe newspapers.

I feel the opposite to you I wish I lived state side as I think i was born with American taste buds , philly cheesesteak drool!

I hope, some day, to be able to taste roast beef as cooked in a pub-restaurant type of place.

Why I haven't done that, is anybody's guess LOL

I've been to the UK at least ten times. Mostly London, though.....and southeast London at that. Though Wandsworth, in the southwest, is an interesting area. They have rowhouses there like Philadelphia rowhouses. And many of them are "Council Houses."

I was fortunate to have been to other places, mostly in southern England--but Manchester and Liverpool, too. and Edinburgh in Scotland.

In the UK thats known as a sunday lunch as it's traditionally had on sunday , if not on a sunday a roast dinner. If you do go for a roast make sure they serve yorkshire puddings ( bit like a popover but softer ) as well , IMO it's a must for a roast dinner.

I shall keep that in mind.

I also like playing darts, though I'm no Robin Hood in the accuracy department.