A question for the non/self diagnosed

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Thats all I've been doing since joining this forum although I don't ignore contrary evidence. I usually research the contrary evidence until I find something that disputes it.

I suppose in a way I am searching for the reason for why I am the way I am because it definately doesn't feel normal to me.

I am a long term psych patient but am looking for something to explain the social side of things as I don't think the mental illness fully explains that.
I have always had poor social functioning and difficulty interacting with others from a very young age. In 60 years I can count my friends on one hand. I had one friend for a few years before developing a mental illness ,but lost him when I went from prep to public school, whereas for many people they have a better social network before mental illness but may lose it when they become mentally ill in their mid/late teens or older.

Last edited by firemonkey on 06 Mar 2017, 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I, for one, try NOT to selectively look for factors that lead to a pre-desired outcome. That said, that I'm "high functioning" enough that I was never diagnosed with anything...not even a co-morbid...makes me wonder if indeed I might NOT have AS.

That said, AS/Autism is the ONLY thing I've ever come across that "explains" all of the life issues with which I struggle. Techniques used by people with AS/Autism to "adapt" and "cope" have done a great deal to help me do better in interacting with the NT world at large.

Before I heard of AS and understood the true nature of Autism, I had a long list of life failures, and I was always prone to blame myself as if I was somehow "defective by choice" or otherwise prone to make poor choices because I was "broken."

Granted, having AS/Autism sort of upholds that self view, but nobody asks to have Autism, and all someone with Autism can do is try their best to adapt and cope. IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY ARE AUTISTIC. So, yes, finding an explanation for my consistent "malfunctions" took a lot of the "blame" off of my shoulders and empowered me to do a better job at compensating rather than the blind trial by error I was using up to that point.