crystaltermination wrote:
A hard question to answer. I feel like I am going through major transitions, right about now. I was officially diagnosed with an ASD only last November. As an adult, you've already built up major 'beliefs' about oneself - and then for this to happen: I don't begrudge learning a hard truth, but it is still a very, very difficult thing to digest. I've read an awful amount about ASD since then - it's actually a bit frightening how many personal re-assessments I've gone through since then, but about being open... I absolutely hate lies. I can't bear them, and as my childhood best friend pointed out once, I'm extremely bad at creating them anyway. I have a really low tolerance for the sheer energy it takes to play-act, 24/7.
Last weekend, there was a belated Easter family gathering for me - I actually did what I wouldn't have dared to do not too long ago and just brought a book with me when I sat down with my Granddad and uncles in the living room. I knew I needed something 'safe' to concentrate on around the social occasion and just thought - screw it. Turned out wonderful. No one was bothered at all. I know it might seem rude to be immersed in a book when everyone else is talking together - but I am listening as well as reading! That was me being as open in a stressful situation as I can so far manage.
It is common to have all these reassesments because learning as an adult is you are autistic is a very big thing. Even more then getting a major physical illness a lot of times because it is finding out your brain, what makes you, you does not work like you thought. I would advise letting your autistic brain figure things out before deciding if to disclose or who to disclose to.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman