Only one interest at a time

Post Reply New Topic

Gosh, first grade must have been horrible. My brother once had a teacher that made them sit perfectly still with their hands folded. There was also a kid with ADHD (hyperactive type) in the class, so that wasn't a great idea. I can't imagine sitting still all day with my hands folded- "fidgeting" has prevented me from having meltdowns before.

In first grade, I also had to take a big school bus from my home in Queens to Manhattan--which was about a 7 mile trip. I was overwhelmed by it all. I just sat there stone-faced. Some of the kids smelled funny to me. I never spoke to another kid (we might have not been able to talk on the bus, anyway).

Wow, that seems horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that .

Thanks. I survived LOL. You were forced to in those days.

I was fortunate in that I was very "self-contained." The outside world didn't really affect me, unless it was within the "immediate situation." After the "situation" passed, I tended to just slough it off to the side.

I was a child who didn't really "extend himself" to people. It wasn't a fear of "getting hurt." It was more like a sort of selfishness which is found in some people with classic autism. I really had to "learn" to socialize with others.

I get it. It can be hard to "extend yourself" to people when you are classically autistic. I hope you don't feel bad about yourself for being "self-contained", though.

To be honest, I didn't feel bad about it then---because I didn't know it was "bad." I knew breaking things was bad, or calling somebody a name, or having a sloppy notebook. But as far as being a "friend," I had limited experience, and limited caring. I wasn't deliberately nasty to people, though. I would have helped somebody if somebody was hurt; but, mostly, I only cared about myself.

I am glad that I am less self-contained, and that I am able to feel empathy for people, and to extend myself out to people. I am glad to be more "social" than I was as a child. I am glad I have acquired enough life experience to be able to help people when they are sad, lonely, in trouble, etc. I wish I was better at it.

I still have my "selfish" moments. And I feel sad when I have them. But what can you do? It just happens sometimes. And I try to learn from my mistakes.

I think you're great at it . You welcomed me here very nicely, and you still continue to respond even when I have written 260 posts in the past 4-5 days .

And why not? You have very pertinent and useful things to say.

And you believe in reasonable discourse.

Thanks !

I don't know how useful my posts are though lol.

Not every post has to be "useful." Sometimes, one just has to have fun.

Not all my posts are "useful"--not by a longshot!

Yay! I'm definitely having fun here .

That's most important: having fun.

You don't have to take exams here, or to write a dissertation LOL

Some people are under that illusion, though.

Yep, I guess some people are.

LOL...I just had an Asperger's moment.

I work at a library. Somebody just came in to interview for a job at this library. I sense that she was nervous. I offered to take her hand so she wouldn't be nervous.

She found it odd that I did that. So I withdrew my hand.

That's how you have to learn to exist. You have to learn the "social rules."

Another time, a woman was quite upset. It was almost like she was about to cry. She was a big, strong-looking woman, too. I offered my hand, and she accepted it. She wasn't paranoid at all.

Some people respond to such overtures; other people don't.

True. Some people can find these things weird, but others are more open. One time at school one of the more "popular" groups asked to see my Squid (the toy I carry around ). They actually thought it was pretty cool, even though they took its head off (it's a removable head). Another time my teacher saw the Squid and was very confused as to what it's purpose was lol. You win some, you lose some, I guess .

That's weird: why did they take his head off? Did they tell you why?

Yep...you win some, you lose some.

I find it's better to take the risk, though. Though you also have to be cautious and aware.