Esperanza wrote:
I don't get it. People make me RAGE. I've been going into these fits of blind rage lately and I end up in tears.
I'm angry because I am so bloody sick and tired of people doing mean things and thinking it's cool or funny. Then if I call them on it they think that's GREAT and they laugh and laugh. Then they do it some more.
I would never do something mean to someone because I thought it was funny or cool. Why do people do that? How do you make them stop?
They're sociopathic weirdoes. Don't let them convince you that
everyone participates in their behavior. They'll always try, and they'll always live with a deep conviction that they're in some overwhelming majority versus you. You think you're messed-up? These are the kind of people who find themselves in and out of prisons. They're so screwed-up that
normal people won't even be forgiving enough to diagnose them with some mitigating psychiatric disorder. They're just thrown into penitentiaries and treated like the filth they are. They're the reason that prisons are such a valuable and beloved institution. They're hated. They're the justification for this emotion.
The worst vermin are those who will try to convince you that everyone participates in their abominable behavior. Really, most
normal people prefer to mind their own business. The main people they dislike are those who can't comprehend this idea, whether it's a particularly obnoxious Aspie or one of the sociopathic lunatics who keep our lives unbearable. The lunatics will find you much more difficult to victimize when you have instilled in your mind that they're not some massive army of people sharing a joke at your expense. They're lone as*holes who will eventually be treated as such, and your nearest neighbor probably isn't even completely aware of what's going on. That's why some of them laugh even though they don't really have anything to do with it. All they see is some people making a scene, and, unfortunately, any kind of spectacle is usually going to cause people to laugh unless they know of a good reason
not to think it's funny. The vermin take advantage of this behavior, and they use it to convince you that
everyone is out to get you. It's a lie. It's an illusion.
Perhaps you should try explaining to those who
aren't picking on you why you have these meltdowns. Try to explain that this behavior isn't entirely under your control and that it's really out of sync with what you want your character to be. Ask for help. Most people would be a little repulsed if they realized that someone was intentionally doing something to take advantage of another person's weaknesses. Your biggest weakness right now, though, is that you
haven't communicated this problem to those around you, and they're not going to know the right way to react until you have.
Trust me, though. The vermin will find it much more difficult to torment you in this way when you have realized how alone and pathetic they truly are. Your peers will eventually get tired of them and have them thrown in a tiny, little cell somewhere. You? Well, if you can't get control of your meltdowns, the worst they'll do is put you on some kind of med that might
prevent you from having the meltdowns, but you'll otherwise be treated pretty well by society at large. You won't always appreciate it, but most people realize, upon closer examination, that you really mean well. They will accept and appreciate that you try to be a good person, and, most of the time, they will try to
help you, to some extent, if you just have the sense to
ask.