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If he thinks you're screaming, when he yells it may be to try to help you or find out if you need help. His brain isn't reasoning or allowing him to connect with you normally, so maybe if you say "I'm okay" when done coughing he may get used to it and stop thinking it's a reason to be alarmed.

...I see your point, but he doesn't express it as " Do you need help? ", he expresses it as angrily yelling at me and threattening me! He says " I'll kick your ass! "," I'll throw you out of here! " -Things that he CANNOT do, since he's bed-bound, he needs help to get out of it!

I will admit that my coughing sure can be annoying, no doubt. I don't like having it . But I do .
There's another roomate between us, who almost never speaks. The dementia'd one complains about my light being on - He's separated from me by two curtains, the non-speaking one is between us.



niel"]If he thinks you're screaming, when he yells it may be to try to help you or find out if you need help. His brain isn't reasoning or allowing him to connect with you normally, so maybe if you say "I'm okay" when done coughing he may get used to it and stop thinking it's a reason to be alarmed.[/quote]

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I rewrote my sig yesterday. I updated how few toes I have ; however, since I have received treatment for my feet in the wake of the amputation , I have very much improved, the right one is much imoved and the left is, essentially??, 100 percent healed - so I did take reference to the foot wounds out of my sig. However, I did put in reference to things in the past that have hurt me very much . Should I have ? More later
.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I do have a base here and get basic meals, and my feet are recovering. However, the additional not-worrying about immediate - has me paying attention to The Roots Of Things.
I thought to myself? the other day, that - things that happened to me and things that did not happen.to me when I was teenage and slightly after being teenage - were still things that hurt me After all these years . And I thought of two things, the second dash-indicated in the middle of a sentence, when rewriting my sig on Monday - and was somewhat down throughout the subsequent day . I wonder if anyone will ever help me with them ?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...There's been suggestion that I should learn a " useful trade " or simila, I believe, instead of trying to go to cc and uni from there. How would I do this, anyway? Who would teach me this and how would I do this? And what " useful trade " do you want me to learn?
If it's that you want to control my life...what do you want me to do ?
As much as the idea of. being a denied, Jesus freak, John Lennon-Sebastian/ Marshall Crenshaw glasses carpenter may appeal...I' m at the age where people who have learned such skills decades back are often at least starting to move toward retirement. Not starting out I'm clumsy, too, maybe I" d get more of my digits off with my equipment
..and, I am, at least mildly, crippled . Specifically, especially, getting up from a seated position or the ground can be quite difficult for me - I often have to try a couple times just to get up from a seat . How would I do climbing up on a ladder or into a position on the floor?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I don"t think I raped myself:cry:or stuffed myself full of Thorazine and Mellaril . :cry
BTW? I suppose you think sO should just kill myself then twisted: ?
What " rules " is it you think I won't follow?






el"]

...There's been suggestion that I should learn a " useful trade " or simila, I believe, instead of trying to go to cc and uni from there. How would I do this, anyway? Who would teach me this and how would I do this? And what " useful trade " do you want me to learn?
If it's that you want to control my life...what do you want me to do ?
As much as the idea of. being a denied, Jesus freak, John Lennon-Sebastian/ Marshall Crenshaw glasses carpenter may appeal...I' m at the age where people who have learned such skills decades back are often at least starting to move toward retirement. Not starting out I'm clumsy, too, maybe I" d get more of my digits off with my equipment
..and, I am, at least mildly, crippled . Specifically, especially, getting up from a seated position or the ground can be quite difficult for me - I often have to try a couple times just to get up from a seat . How would I do climbing up on a ladder or into a position on the floor?

..BTW, I meant to write " denimed " below, not denied ". I meant " denimed ".
My coming back here has, as I said, led to real progress being made on healing my foot, with the wounds being totally healed being kind of within sight. Also, I have thought I could try and resolve the aftermath of my brother's death - The memoribilia/" stuff " which, okay, I have given up on the idea of selling any portion of - and the possibility that there might, in fact, be some money for me from the money that (I guess) my parents had put aside for my brother's being taken care of.







Utah"]

ASS-P wrote:

...There's been suggestion that I should learn a " useful trade " or simila, I believe, instead of trying to go to cc and uni from there. How would I do this, anyway? Who would teach me this and how would I do this? And what " useful trade " do you want me to learn?
If it's that you want to control my life...what do you want me to do ?
As much as the idea of. being a denied, Jesus freak, John Lennon-Sebastian/ Marshall Crenshaw glasses carpenter may appeal...I' m at the age where people who have learned such skills decades back are often at least starting to move toward retirement. Not starting out I'm clumsy, too, maybe I" d get more of my digits off with my equipment
..and, I am, at least mildly, crippled . Specifically, especially, getting up from a seated position or the ground can be quite difficult for me - I often have to try a couple times just to get up from a seat . How would I do climbing up on a ladder or into a position on the floor?

So let's be honest - you are 57 years old. Exactly how long do you intend to live knowing you have diabetes, chronic wounds, probably a number of other conditions?

So a trade is out, you'd be at retirement age before you'd finish training. I have no idea why you want to attend college because you never talk about learning anything, you keep speaking about some fake "college experience" you think you're going to have. Even if you could live in a dorm, you'd be the creepy old guy to the rest of the students. So what is it you're trying to get out of CC?

This is it, man, your life, you created it and you live it. You remind me of a ball in a pinball machine, it goes to SC, then to a hospital, then to a shelter, then to SF, then to a hospital, the streets, a shelter, etc.

Your unwillingness to follow rules will not allow you to be a candidate in any group type living situation and I'm afraid your life as it is now will be that way until it ends unless you change some fundamental things about yourself.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Hi Ass-P,

Glad to see you're still around.
Seems like at least you have a roof over your head these days?

Anyways, here's my unasked-for two cents after having read this thread
and comparing with my friend who faced poverty and lost three homes
and more to theft, neglect, etc. ...

Yes, I agree you should have a phone.
A phone is what kept my friend alive.

I also think you should qualify for a HUD apartment like my friend had.
I also know other people who collect disability benefits for far less problems than you have.
Now I'm sure there would be rules for you to follow ...
including making phone calls to government agencies, and filling out paperwork, and paying rent ...
that part would be up to you.
(Though yes, a social worker should help.)

As for college, if college itself isn't possible at this stage in your life,
maybe you could at least study something, take one class somewhere?
Even a free class or workshop held on one day, to start?

Learning a trade ... do you want to?
To me, I really wish you could make money from your writing.
You obviously are a talented author / writer.
Even writing about your life.
And you should know me well enough to know that I'm not just saying this,
I really believe it.

Is your health ... are you ... feeling any better?
I hope so.

I think I missed the controversy about why some people don't want you to go downtown,
so I won't comment.

As for whether God understands when you don't go to Church on Sunday?
You would know that better than I would.
When people have serious reasons why they can't attend, God understands.
If you can't make it due to health reasons, then yes, God certainly does understand.
If you can't make it due to transportation issues, then yes, God certainly does understand.

Anyways, you can still pray whether you're inside a church or not.
And I can pray for you when I go to Church if you like.

...The last would be nice, Phoenix, thank you.
As for going to uni (with CC as a stepping stone for it) - yes? I would like to write (& make films? maybe) ' school could give me the credentials, and connections, and knowledge to do it.
I have no great desire to " learn a trade ". What would I learn? Especially at my age and state of health

I would like to read and study. A uni situation could provide me with a sitiaton where I could do that, even be admired for it .
Briefly looking it up, one possible problem re. trying to go to CC in Santa Cruz is that appears questionable that axt-oriented classes are oriented toeards: (1) The English major/liberal arts courses that I believe I'm good at (2) that offer real, transferable to a uni, credits. Furthermore, most CVS tend to concentrate on transferability to the University iceldc f California and California State University systems - but I think my yeards-back dispute with the state of California might mean that no UC or CUZ campus would admit me .
As far ax " learning something practical_something that would get you a job " - bluntly, I thought that, if I was ever ex-homeless? I"d maybe emulate ex-junkies that get jobs at drug agencies and dried-out drunks that get jobs at alcohol agencies and try for something at some homelessness or AS agency - not up'front, say - pushing pixels around? say, or ?If I took film.) taking care of the video stuff/room.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...IT IS NOT TRUE that I " left my stolen items evrrywhere"! You're full of it.You're blaming the victim! For example, the phones that were stolen in 2017...ah, skip it. I've said much if not all before, and I'm not going to waste it now pn you .
Medical problems I cannot help myself , and which would be less a problem if I had a nearby bathroom and more privacy? are much of my " hygiene problems ". I have had very little space, and do YOU follow a curfew ??






ote="ASS-P"]...I don"t think I raped myself:cry:or stuffed myself full of Thorazine and Mellaril . :cry
BTW? I suppose you think sO should just kill myself then twisted: ?
What " rules " is it you think I won't follow?

el"][/quote]

The only thing I can address are the rules you don't like. you do not seem to like curfews, rules about hygiene, rules about where you can and cannot leave your belongings (you leave them everywhere, which is why they are thrown away and/or stolen all the time), and rules about doing your laundry. The hygiene has gotten you removed from prior shelters and SROs, you know that already.[/quote]

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

.i.Sorta depressed now. More later.>99

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...When someone uses a phrase like " desire for change " it tends, anyway, to mean " You're not doing what I want you to do! " What is it, from you'd knowledge of my life, am I not doing that you think I should be doing?
Be prepared to discuss - not just spout off one-liners .






o222"]

[quote="ASS]...There's been suggestion that I should learn a " useful trade " or simila, I believe, instead of trying to go to cc and uni from there. How would I do this, anyway? Who would teach me this and how would I do this? And what " useful trade " do you want me to learn?
If it's that you want to control my life...what do you want me to do ?
As much as the idea of. being a denied, Jesus freak, John Lennon-Sebastian/ Marshall Crenshaw glasses carpenter may appeal...I' m at the age where people who have learned such skills decades back are often at least starting to move toward retirement. Not starting out I'm clumsy, too, maybe I" d get more of my digits off with my equipment
..and, I am, at least mildly, crippled . Specifically, especially, getting up from a seated position or the ground can be quite difficult for me - I often have to try a couple times just to get up from a seat . How would I do climbing up on a ladder or into a position on the floor?[/quote]

So let's be honest - you are 57 years old. Exactly how long do you intend to live knowing you have diabetes, chronic wounds, probably a number of other conditions?

So a trade is out, you'd be at retirement age before you'd finish training. I have no idea why you want to attend college because you never talk about learning anything, you keep speaking about some fake "college experience" you think you're going to have. Even if you could live in a dorm, you'd be the creepy old guy to the rest of the students. So what is it you're trying to get out of CC?

This is it, man, your life, you created it and you live it. You remind me of a ball in a pinball machine, it goes to SC, then to a hospital, then to a shelter, then to SF, then to a hospital, the streets, a shelter, etc.

Your unwillingness to follow rules will not allow you to be a candidate in any group type living situation and I'm afraid your life as it is now will be that way until it ends unless you change some fundamental things about yourself.[/quote]

I agree 100% with everything you say. My comment on learning a trade back in the college thread was NOT directed at ASS P. I was simply commenting that colleges should not be taking over traditional vocational education. I agree that he is to old and has existed in his way for far to long. He has no real DESIRE for change, he just likes the IDEA of being a college student. However, you see this from an NT POV, being NT yourself. We are usually late bloomers--thats common for us. Set in our ways, and cant see a way out--thats also common. Living day to day and not seeing our life 20 years down the road--saddly that too. By the read of his new sig pic he was put on anti psychotics at one point in his life, which is totally wrong if you are not actually in need of them. I narrowly escaped this myself. There was a so called school councilor who thought me schitzoid because of the common Asipe tendency of talking to ourselves. My facial expressions and other harmless habits that hurt no one were counted as some kind of serious mental disease in need of curtailing and cure. I still hate him for that.

Realistically I dont think things will ever get better for Ass P, so I dont object to him enjoying what time he has left in what ways he can. I regret my rudeness and mean spirited comments.[/quote]

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!