Optimism and Reality: Goldfish21 Response to me

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Yes, of course, aim high but be prepared to change your plans if you don't make it. In terms of so many things in life that means a secondary career choice and/or a bunch of money saved just in case.

I'm more a... Aim for the f*****g STARS kind of guy, because if you don't make it at least you'll hit the Moon.

Yep!

What SO MANY people fail to see about successful people is that they weren't always successful. For the first 90% of their life they tried, and failed, tried, and failed, and struggled.. but they persisted and eventually succeeded. People just see the success and think they got there by luck or nepotism or whatever. They have no idea how much that person had to overcome, what struggles they lived through, what they had to endure to get there. They have no idea how much hard work they were willing to commit to - and do - in order to have a shot at possibly maybe succeeding one day. They just see the success and react with envy instead of admiration for all that person had to do to become who they are.

Elaine has the right idea. No airy fairy hippie doo crap.

Even rags to riches means a big degree of luck. I doubt Elaine or anyone else here doesn't try.

Positive thinking to influence your reality is bull....

So much love for your attitude & I wish you well on your academic and career pursuits.

This video reminded me of you the other day:

https://www.facebook.com/gizmodo/videos ... 783948967/

So then why accept whatever constraints you think, or know, you have? Why not question why you have them and what you can do to influence change upon them?

That's what I've done for myself and it's been.. miraculous.

I HAD self limiting beliefs and constraints that were much much stricter than the limits I have now, because I questioned Why I had them and what I could do about them, learned what I could do in terms of knowledge & medicine, did what I needed to do get what I want, and now I have it.

I didn't have a spike in my brain, but I may as well have with the symptoms. Rather than accept that there is no spike to pull out and hole to patch so I can't do a damned thing, I persevered. It's paid off.

When is not trying the right thing to do?

In war? Just roll over and die, don't try to win/live etc.
In sports? They're statistically favoured to win so our team may as well just forfeit.
In education? Work? Love? Life?

When?

Hell, I once played a poker game with 2 others. Our friend that was favoured to win was out first. I had 1 chip of 500. The other remaining player had 499. The third guy told me to just give up already so we could be done the game and start a new one. I refused. I played properly. Guess what? I won all 500 chips. It doesn't matter if you're down to 1 chip, it matters how you play the game when the chips are down. I didn't make this up, either. This was a real life poker game and real life is much like that poker game. There is Never a time to give up and not try, even when the chips are stacked against you 499:1.

There's a difference between Trying to study engineering in order to have a lucrative career, failing, and then shifting focus or quitting. Real life example of a high school peer: He failed out of electronic engineering at the technical institute I attended. Did he give up on lucrative career plans? No. He shifted his focus and became a commercial pilot instead. He now earns a lot more money than he would have as an engineer.

If you define "shifting focus," as stopping work towards a goal and starting to do nothing instead, that's quitting. If you define it as taking a break from stressful attempts in order to reorganize and try again at something else, that's shifting focus. How would you define it? Same? Differently?

Hmm, not sure if I'd enjoy it or not... but I did enjoy growing my beard for 5 months & working out and then going as King Leonidas from the movie 300 for Halloween a few years ago. That was f*****g EPIC. My costume was so on point, too. It wasn't wasted, either, as I went to 5 halloween parties in 2 days.

Keep telling yourself that & see what results you get.. it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

I would tell them the complete and honest truth. These are the facts and these are the stats. After that, I'm going to tell them that I will do everything in my power to help you and eventually for you to overcome these odds on your own and help you to accomplish what you desire and are able to accomplish. I would also make sure I was in a position that I could save up a nest egg for them or I would not have a child at all with anyone. The child would not know about the nest egg part until a certain age. If by a certain point after their struggles they're losing job after job and have problems after problems then I'm going to give them their nest egg as a monthly allowance at first until they prove they're responsible enough to handle it.

See! There is a can-do with reality kept in mind. There is no unrealistic optimism of you can do anything you set your mind to which is a bunch of bunk. To tell someone that one can do something he sets his mind to without understanding the realities and nature of what he is setting out to do is to deceive and lie to him. Heck with that!




Well, if we're to ditch statistics, logic, reason and truth then my question is then how can you prove me wrong since by the nature of our belief system truth, logic, and reason must be thrown out for belief and faith?

Even if you accomplished what you set out you still haven't disproven my original argument. All you would do is beat the odds and if you beat the odds then I commend you for doing so.

Another relevant recent example:

I was talking with some friends and the conversation led to depression/anxiety etc and my friends often-depressed wife used the example of Chester Bennington and said "Well, look at him.. with all he had (financial resources) look what happened to him.." (he committed suicide.) and my response? "Just because he didn't figure it out for himself is in no way justification for me not to even f*****g TRY." Her husbands reaction to that? "THAT's a good answer!"

We chatted about it a bit. Dude had money, maybe had a team of professional mental healthcare providers - maybe not?? - but even if he did, maybe he didn't follow their advice? Maybe they were never able to figure out the root cause of his issues and how to deal with them? No matter which way you slice it, just because he didn't figure out the solution to his depression and overcome it doesn't mean that I haven't been able to and others can't. Just because you have financial resources doesn't mean you can just throw money at problems and they go away. Just because you have access to doctors doesn't mean you access them. Just because you access them doesn't mean they figure out solutions. Even if they did recommend solutions, it doesn't mean he followed their advice and failed anyways. etc to infinity.

Sometimes, autistic people have to go through the “back way.”

The Civil Rights movement sometimes had to go through the “back way” (i.e, the courts) in order to succeed.

A frontal assault (like what Malcolm X tried) frequently doesn’t work for “oppressed” people.

One has to sort of “sneak” into opportunities through watching for openings, and using alternative means and sometimes subterfuge. You can’t make people aware you’re “disabled.”

For my present job, I had to get out of my comfort zone, experience and overcome the anxiety, and get there before anybody else.

...So I start a sequel. Huh.

If you raised a disabled child like that I'd call you an as*hole for doing so. Sure, be aware of the statistics yourself - but it serves no good purpose to fill a child's mind with statistics stacked against them except to keep them down. f**k that. Terrible parenting plan, IMO. If a child is raised hearing that "statistically, I don't expect much of you.. but yeah, still give things a little try, can't hurt anything but I don't expect much of you so don't worry if you fail," then guess how they're going to go through life? Not as a happy well adjusted can-do person I'll tell you that much.. UNLESS they happen to just Be so internally optimistic that as soon as they can form a sentence they tell you to f**k off with your negativity & do things to prove you and your statistics wrong. But why hinder their chances of success with your stats & pessimism in the first place? Awful, AWFUL plan.

As for nest eggs and all that, myself and my 3 siblings have always told our parents to spend what money they have in retirement as we will make our own ways for richer or for poorer, then Sun is still going to rise and set every day and we'll always have food/shelter and figure things out when we need to. No need for them to live in poverty in order to leave inheritances for us kind of thing. F that noise. If they have any money/assets to spend in their old age, spend it, they earned it.

It's not necessarily a bad thing to want to put money aside for a child. But to do so with the mindset that you expect them to fail is sort of a self fulfilling prophecy. However, if you KNOW your child is going to struggle severely with the essentials of life then perhaps it's the wisest most loving thing you could do for them. There are certainly exceptions to my ideals.

I never ever said truth, logic, and reason are to be throw out for belief and faith. It's just that my truth, logic, and reason are different than yours. Mine are more positive and optimistic, yours are negative & pessimistic. Both are based in the same reality. Mine are by nature & nurture. Yours, likely, too. As I've aged I've CHOSEN to do everything in my power to nurture my mind & reality into one that serves me and my goals. Others are free to do the same.

What argument haven't I disproven? Further, what odds? I'm in competition with MYSELF and what I can achieve, no one else. Go ahead and compare me to all the statistics you want to. Sure, it's a relative comparison that has value to an extent, but "the odds" are Not me nor my life nor my efforts nor my achievements. Hell, as an autistic, gay, part-genetically-indigenous person (so I'm told, I do not know) "the odds" say I probably should have killed myself a few times over but here I am being me and working towards ever bigger & better goals. f**k yo' odds & the horse they rode in on.

Thanks, ASS-P! See? Some good has come of your thread.