Innocence, honesty and Aspergers

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I can relate to this. I have caught myself lying before, but then immediately felt the need to confess. The lies feel unbearable, like they are damaging and burning a hole in me. I value honesty and disclosure above all, and like somebody else said, have always sought Truth in life.

In terms of innocence, I have been very self-destructive in the past, so have done drugs and other dangerous things. But I always retained an innocence throughout (was scared and reluctant). Perhaps if I had this Aspie piece of the puzzle earlier in my life I wouldn't have gotten so lost. Since life was scary and overwhelming from early childhood, I learned to push myself to do things I didn't want to do - go to school, be around people. So later on I couldn't discern between pushing myself in safe situations versus pushing myself in dangerous situations. I just thought I had to force myself to do scary things.

Yeah I understand you and what you said about Asperger's being related to innocence and honesty. I have high functioning autism myself and what you where saying sounds relatable to me. I remember when I used to volunteer at the senior center near my house. The director was telling me that there would be a horse racing event on Thursday. I said, " Where will the horses be?". Then she laughed and told me they don't use actual horses in the game and that it was just a game. I felt embarrassed and stupid for believing that there would be live horses there. I was 17 at the time. Right there, that's why people with autism get called innocent because they tend to take statements literally without questioning them and can also be gullible. About honesty, I'm terrible at faking my emotions. If I'm angry, I will show it through my facial expressions and body language. Same goes for happiness, sadness, and fear. I also remember back in high school, I let a guy in my class copy my homework out of sympathy. I was too shy to say no to him. During 8th period English class, my teacher saw that his homework was similar to mine. She took me out in the hallway and asked if I cheated. I said no. Then she asked me if he copied my homework. I started blushing and looking away from her. I didn't say anything. Then she said, " Your face tells me everything". She knew I wanted to tel the truth but I couldn't because I was too scared of telling her about it and the guy possibly getting pissed off at me for telling. That's were honesty shows in people with autism and me. We always tell the truth and we're bad at lying. our body language gives us away. We're brutally honest. So am I

I'm not always literal-minded, but one time a woman my age who had seen me around her office asked me if I'd like to go get coffee with her. I don't drink coffee, and I was well hydrated, so I just said "No, thanks." Years later, I realized that she had been hoping to talk with me.

^^ It worked out pretty well. The defence lawyer asked me if I might have forgotten the details in the months before the trial, and I agreed that I might have, but added that what remained crystal clear was that I had offered my help to the party who would want a witness. That was so conclusive that we were out of there before my new friend even realised he had won.

I tend to be very literal. A lot of humor just flies over my head, so that makes social situations more difficult. I'm also really good at missing subtext and pretty gullible too.

I've always been that way too. Unfortunately it's easy to get manipulated when you're honest, naive and innocent and I have always been so I learned the hard way that a lot of people take advantage of people like us. I'm a lot more cautious now and I try to stick to people who are the same as me as I see anyone else as someone who might just want to get involved with me in order to use me.

I've seen that other aspies have the same problem in other forums but is it really a problem? I don't think so. It's really the people who manipulate, take advantage of and who ruin their health with drugs and excessive amounts of alcohol that have a problem, not us.

I am afraid of a lot things too. I had a close friend who was interested in drugs, for some reason, and who would make fun of me for not even wanting try weed which to many isn't even a "real" drug. I just didn't want to and did not see the point in it.

What's wrong with driving?

Nvm, I'll go take my drugs, have a fag and drink my scotch.

I would have considered myself innocent until I began school, but I gradually became more suspicious of people as time went on. This was not a good thing. I have begun to open myself up more to people, while still exercising discretion and common sense.

I consider myself very honest. I have learned to control the tendency I had when I was younger to say what came to my mind and to pause when I get annoyed or frustrated.