WOW, you were pretty at one time

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You're right about that, hahahaha.

I don't spend much money on hair or clothing.
My grey has come through at the front because I have not coloured it for over 6 months
I have been quite unwell so appearance is the last thing on my mind.

Are you able to say that this kind of comment offends you? A real friend would accept it and apologise for being insensitive. This could be a way of getting closer or could go the other way. I find talking about any rifts between myself and a close friend quite valuable to us both. We find out things about each other we never knew before.

On the other hand if she is not a proper friend you may not want to spend the energy saying anything - ignoring her ignorance is easier than getting worked up for someone who is not worth it.

I also like to reflect upon my own thoughts and feelings when something gets me worked up. I try to learn something about myself and my triggers.

She's not a true friend. Hence I didn't dignify her comment.

My uncle thinks that everybody loses their looks after 40 (even though he's well over 40 himself).

But they don't. I work with elderly people in a care home, and some of them are very attractive, cute even (as in baby-cute). But, the way I see it, nobody's truly ugly. What is ugly anyway? I find an attractiveness in everybody. Even deformed people.

That's all besides the point. Certain things people shouldn't say to someone. I'm comfortable with who I am. I just don't like catty remarks.

I'm 28 and look around 12-14. I plan on looking 12-14 when I'm fifty as well. I'm praying for that, will I have to hide?

People don't know how much energy it took for me to be the way I was when I was younger.

Yeah, I have a baby face and I am very easily recognizable from pics taken of me when I was as young as 10-12, and I haven't really changed much at all from my teens. The pic on one ID card I have was taken when I was 18. I am now 40.
How much people change varies a lot.

Thank you for bringing this thread to our attention.
It has helped me to think about how careful we/I need to be with our/my words.
Just because I can a be a little thick skinned in certain areas doesn't mean other words can't get me equally stirred.

It is true - sometimes we just don't think before our responses to others.
I am going to spend time this week taking more notice of what I say to others.

It’s the spirit that counts, not merely the looks.

I know...because I’ve experienced tingling attraction to so-called “ugly” women because of their other attributes....and my body went cold for model types with no other attributes.

I have a tendency to over think before I speak as well as over analyze the conversation. Most NT's don't do that and sometimes just have word vomit and blurt out what they're thinking. It can be rude. Sometimes people know they said something that came out wrong, but they're too embarrassed too apologize.

That being said, I don't like comments like that all. I do try to keep my calm though and I will through in a challenging opinion disguised as a comment. I.E. "What do you mean WERE?" and I'll throw on a smile to lighten the mood yet still plant that seed of "Oh, maybe I shouldn't say that."

My mom has tons of old photos of me and my siblings around the house and people come over and say "Wow, she was such a cute baby!" to her about me and I never know how to respond. They insist that I look fine now too, but I'm not so sure.

Saying that to my grand-grandmom is not the same as saying that to a women in her 40s.

That's not the same thing.

Being compared to yourself as an infant is not the same thing as being compared to yourself as younger adult.

In polite society you assume that folks WANT to outgrow looking like an infant, but you assume that folks DONT wanna loose their (later in youth) young adult sex appeal. Women especially, but men as well. You can assume that folks don't care if you tell them that they no longer have cute baby fat. But you assume that folks will deck you if you tell them "you're not the hottie you once were when you 20".

In fact (to be honest with you) if you have a problem with folks implying that you're no longer a cute infant then you're the one is being kinda weird and insecure (most folks are insecure about their looks, but not THAT insecure).

Do not give others the power over how you feel.

The ravages of time and not always kind to our bodies. Once upon a time, I was young and ... Well, that was long ago and today I'm just happy to be able to walk. No matter our super powers, none of us can stop time and what happens to our bodies as we age. Appearance in your 60's isn't as important as appearance in your "youth".