Response to "you're too analytical"?
People have always said this to me as well, and I always found it to be rather cruel. It's not like one can really their level of intelligence or the way in which their brain functions, but I have somewhat found a way to combat this. I don't really agree with "dumbing" myself down, or with trying to re-wire my brain, so basically I try and think logically about the situation but also am sure to inform people of a more "emotional" viewpoint. I pretty much try and give objective and subjective points of view to the things I discuss or respond to and that tends to give me the best response. The alternative is essentially saying nothing if I know it's something someone isn't going to be receptive of, but I do tend to have a habit of being rather filterless especially when I'm knowledgable on a certain subject. I don't really know a perfect way to combat this, ideally, I guess I'd just say it's best to study the reactions of the person you're engaging with in conversation and try and adjust if possible?
Too bad it's been so long since the movie Amadeus came out. It provided an excellent response to this nonsense, which I used at work once or twice:
"I am exactly as analytical as the situation requires. No more, no less."
(context: Mozart being criticized for using "too many notes". He responded that he used exactly as many notes, etc.)
My other bygone favorite was to tilt my head, peer over my glasses (this looks very different with head tilt vs. without head tilt - gamine vs. schoolteachery, at least at the age I was then) and say, "Hmm. Are you sure that's the problem? Is it possible that others aren't analytical enough?" Then smile dazzlingly and change the subject.
I used that second one on a few dates in my youth, where my escort opined that I "thought too much". That was a showstopper right there, so I didn't much care if my response was off-putting; I was not going to spend any more of my free time with the individual in question.
And so to bed... it's after 3 a.m. where I am, yikes. Good night all.
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Dear_one
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One way to look overly analytical would be to pursue research about the ingredients of the ice cream cone melting all over one's hand. I recall an actual case of a velomobile race in which one entry crashed, and was fixed by the crew using duct tape while the designer was still trying to think of the optimal repair. They had to ignore the "boss" to win. There is also a hazard known as "depressive realism." Irrational optimism is actually normal, because a new opportunity usually has to be seized quickly by the discoverers, before everyone has a chance to think it over.
One way to look overly analytical would be to pursue research about the ingredients of the ice cream cone melting all over one's hand. I recall an actual case of a velomobile race in which one entry crashed, and was fixed by the crew using duct tape while the designer was still trying to think of the optimal repair. They had to ignore the "boss" to win. There is also a hazard known as "depressive realism." Irrational optimism is actually normal, because a new opportunity usually has to be seized quickly by the discoverers, before everyone has a chance to think it over.
Yes, but if one is truly exceptionally analytical, those factors (e.g. urgency) would just become additional variables to be factored in.
For example, "The optimal repair material in this case would be vibranium strips reinforced with kryptonite, however 1) Those materials would take at least a week to ship from Transylvania and 2) Time is a priority. Therefore the optimal solution may be ruled out. So... what is an A) immediately available and B) quick-to-apply adhesive material? Duct tape!"
And I've actually gotten at least one job in the past by adjusting my expectations to account for my own quite pronounced depressive realism. That is, I calculated that it was, in this case, rational to act "irrationally."
My mistakes and failures in life are mainly the result of being insufficiently analytical--when my other AS traits, such as sensory overstimulation or disinclination for social contact, overwhelmed my rational analysis of a situation.
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Last edited by Benjamin the Donkey on 05 Mar 2018, 6:32 am, edited 2 times in total.
Dear_one
Veteran
Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
One way to look overly analytical would be to pursue research about the ingredients of the ice cream cone melting all over one's hand. I recall an actual case of a velomobile race in which one entry crashed, and was fixed by the crew using duct tape while the designer was still trying to think of the optimal repair. They had to ignore the "boss" to win. There is also a hazard known as "depressive realism." Irrational optimism is actually normal, because a new opportunity usually has to be seized quickly by the discoverers, before everyone has a chance to think it over.
Yes, but if one is truly exceptionally analytical, those factors (e.g. urgency) would just become additional variables to be factored in.
For example, "The optimal repair material in this case would be vibranium strips reinforced with kryptonite, however 1) Those materials would take at least a week to ship from Transylvania and 2) Time is a priority. Therefore the optimal solution may be ruled out. So... what is an A) immediately available and B) quick-to-apply adhesive material? Duct tape!"
And I've actually gotten at least one job in the past by adjusting my expectations to account for my own quite pronounced depressive realism. That is, I calculated that it was, in this case, rational to act "irrationally."
That's quite impressive. Can you also go to a staff party, not get in trouble, and actually enjoy the fun? I'd spend the rest of the weekend second-guessing whatever I'd said.
"I am exactly as analytical as the situation requires. No more, no less."
(context: Mozart being criticized for using "too many notes". He responded that he used exactly as many notes, etc.)
My other bygone favorite was to tilt my head, peer over my glasses (this looks very different with head tilt vs. without head tilt - gamine vs. schoolteachery, at least at the age I was then) and say, "Hmm. Are you sure that's the problem? Is it possible that others aren't analytical enough?" Then smile dazzlingly and change the subject.
I love this
A little more context:
I'm ambitious and want to become more and more socially adept, so that, when I graduate from my academic program, I can have a fruitful career. This implication that I'm "too analytical" is not new to me. People have said it my whole life. I think it's a good idea for me to develop some good responses when that attitude comes up.
Thanks!
I think people who are analytical are truly blessed.
I have gotten this "too analytical" judgement before as well. I responded by saying that it's how my brain works and I can't not be that way. Then I went silent and looked at them with a pure blank expressionless face. That puts them in the limelight instead of you. Then whatever they reply with just say, "that's interesting" and ignore them. But, you really should accept that you won't be able to effectively communicate or work with someone who cannot tolerate an aspie's analytics. How else is an aspie supposed to attempt to communicate If not analytically??? This sh*t doesn't come natural to us and that's the whole point! I suggest a new sponser or even a new location if this person is just gonna be a douche and make your program that much harder. Anyway that's just my 2 cents, so to speak.